How do you let go when you love somebody but they just aren't right?

[summerlove]

How do you let go? I mean if you love someone and you know they love you but your just not happy, but yet want to stay and its not good situation! how do you let go of that person? especially when they just pull you right in?

[InLoKo]

You can't stay and let go. It's one of the other. If you're not happy, but still love them, try to discuss it and work it through. If you love them, why would you want to let go?

[summerlove]

well i do love him! i don't want to let him go but my gut feeling says ( if you don't your going to get hurt) he says he loves me and stuff and we talk a lot i tell him how i feel and when i do he says " your bossing me around", and well i'm not. hes always complaining he has no money or he needs something but yet doesn't want to keep a job! other things are he wants to move away and with that you also need money! * i have the money to do so and i could pay for both of us to move and we want to its just i don't want to pay for everything! right now i pay half as it is and i'm afraid he might think, well since i have the money ill just pay for him the rest of my life! and well i would just get up and leave and see if he really cares and trys to get me back but yet i'm so in love and willing to do anything for him i just can't find a way to leave!

[InLoKo]

Originally posted by bfaith258

well i would just get up and leave and see if he really cares and trys to get me back but yet i'm so in love

 

If you do that, you are just playing games!! You should leave only if you really have explored every avenue to get the relationship back on track or if you no longer love him. Playing games is nasty, cruel and may well back fire on you. You need to show some maturity here to deal with your relationship.

[Errol]

Originally posted by bfaith258

well i do love him! i don't want to let him go but my gut feeling says ( if you don't your going to get hurt) he says he loves me and stuff and we talk a lot i tell him how i feel and when i do he says " your bossing me around", and well i'm not. hes always complaining he has no money or he needs something but yet doesn't want to keep a job! other things are he wants to move away and with that you also need money! * i have the money to do so and i could pay for both of us to move and we want to its just i don't want to pay for everything! right now i pay half as it is and i'm afraid he might think, well since i have the money ill just pay for him the rest of my life! and well i would just get up and leave and see if he really cares and trys to get me back but yet i'm so in love and willing to do anything for him i just can't find a way to leave!

 

You say you would do anything for him, but then you say you won't.

 

Just tell him that you do love him and it's hurting you to say good bye, but that you are not comfortable with the relationship and feel that in the long-run you would both end up hurting each other beyond repair and then leave. Go home and cry, call a friend and cry on her shoulder, buy a pair of shoes, get your nails done, or do something totally for yourself that will distract you even if only for a few minutes. You will get over him and know that you did what is best for both of you.

[xalysabethh]

Hi this is how i felt w/ my high school sweetheart it was not the best situation but for some reason i could never leave his side no matter what now almost 9 yars ,2 kids, and one marriag ending later i am making myself be strong and make this it for good. luckilly i have 2 daughters who are good motivators b/c i would never want them 2 grow up and be in this situation its hard but you have the strength inside good luck

 

xalysabeth

[doniker]

I have this problem.

 

I am married, we have a child, are financially secure, own a house, truck, 2 cars and go on vacations 3 times a year.

 

But I am still miserable. Our sex life is near death and another issue that we fight about is my wife's 22 year old son that lives with us rent free and doesn't lift a finger to help out and she let's him get away with it.

 

I care for my wife and I have a good life. We want for nothing and we are all healthy but yet I long to be "in love" and I want to be happy with the way my life is.

 

Either I stay safe and live this miserable life or throw it all away and go out into the unknown.......is there really anything else out there?

[summerlove]

Either I stay safe and live this miserable life or throw it all away and go out into the unknown.......is there really anything else out there?

 

 

 

 

wow that is what ive been thinking all along! i mean like everything has been great for the past couple of days and he express how much he loves me, but yet i feel the unknown part coming in! i fear of letting him go and then end up realizing it was the biggest mistake ever. but yet everyone around me tells me i can do better!

 

* but to tell the truth i'm not going anywhere i'm going to stay right where i am and be with the guy that tells me and here lately has been showing me he loves me! even though i know theres lots of stuff out there i'm missing!

-but for anyone out there who is experiencing what i have with this guy i say hang in there! go with the strongest feeling! and if you have to take your heart and your head and make the decision not just one or the other!