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Starting to really miss my Ex Girlfriend


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Posted

Okay I will start this off by saying that this will probably be somewhat long but please read this so you will understand where I am coming from. I am 18 years old and my ex is 17 years old, I met her 4 years ago when I was 14 and she was 13. We met over AOL Instant Messenger. Back when I first met her I was set out to get her as a girlfriend because I was young and stupid and thought it would be cool but after time went on of us being friends she became more than a friend.

 

I never thought I would have fallen for her the way that I did. The first year we knew each other we went out for 8 months. We were so young and I never thought it would have lasted that long. As time went on I started to love her more and more everyday. At the age of 16 I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and so did she.

 

Back then we went through a lot, she had a phase where she was emo and wanted to kill herself. I remember when I was getting ready for school, something told me to get on AIM and when I did she IMed me telling me to call her. I called her and she told me that she cut her wrist and she was feeling cold and dizzy. I was so scared I did not know what to say, she told me her aunt was on the way and we got off the phone.

 

For 2 weeks I was stressed out because I had not heard from her. I got the courage to call her house and her dad answered. I asked him while trying not to cry because I thought she was dead. I asked him if she was okay and he told me yes she is in the hospital. for 1 week after that I was a little better but still no word from her. She came online and I jumped for joy.

 

After all of that we continued to love each other. She was young and did not know what she wanted, I went to New York for 3 days, I came back and she told me that she fell in love with another guy...I stayed here waiting for her to come back and she did, she left me again for another guy named Edward. When she was with him she treated me like ****, she did not care about me or anything she acted like he was the best person in the world. I stopped talking to her for 4 months and I had a dream that him and her were having sex, I woke up crying.

 

That dream made me log into myspace, get on her page, saw her new Screen name and I added her. It was a huge mistake that I made. We started talking again and after half of a year of them being together he left her and she came back to me like I knew she would. As time went on she started to change, she has anger issues and it's horrible. she would call me and yell at me for playing a video game while talking to her.

 

This is where it really gets bad and this is coming to an end. I love her with all of my heart, I have always been loyal to her and always stood by her side. She talked to me about our relationship being an open relationship and I thought about it and I agreed, so I asked her to promise me that she would not do ANYTHING with a guy until I came there and we made love which was going to be last month. So she said she promises she wont and I was happy.

 

I let her kiss other girls and do things with other girls. She told me she was going to the movies with a guy friend, I did not think anything about it and told her have fun and I love her. I texted her during the movie and got no reply. She came back happy and everything and I was happy that she had a good time. 4 days went by and on new years day of this year she told me "Baby I have something to tell you" I started shaking then she said "I know this is going to hurt you but it will hurt even more if I wait" I started to shake even more. She then said "I...I gave Anthony head"....I sat there and I read that and my whole body turned cold. I felt a chill going up and down my whole body, I stood up and fell down because my knees were so weak. Then I bursted into tears that could not stop flowing our of my eyes.

 

I could not believe that the girl that I loved and cared for SO much would do this to me. After I told her how hurt I was she said "I want to break up" okay at this point I could not say much, I called her and asked her why. she told me "We will be together in the future, I just want to experience life I am too young for this at the moment, I love you too much to regret our love" okay so I cried on the phone and accepted that we were done for now. I asked her if she had feelings for Anthony and she told me no. 2 days later she texted me from school and said "I lied, I do have feelings for him".

 

So when she got home I gave her a letter that I typed out for 2 hours, She read it and told me "that's cute"...I said "okay" then she said "I really wish you would move on" so I took that as okay I will move on. A week later she told me that she did not regret doing what she did and was not sorry for doing it. It's like she enjoyed knowing that I cried my eyes out and was so depressed that I lost 10 pounds in a week without working out. She called me yelling because I kept making her feel bad for what she did. She told me how she gave him head and everything, I got so pissed off that I punched my door and my whole arm went through it.

 

A week after this I was rushed to the hospital due to an Heart Arrhythmia. I texted her from the hospital and she did not care, she told me good luck after I told her "I might not make it I love you so much". after this I came home 2 days after and I was highly pissed with her, she got mad because her boyfriend Anthony used her for sex and I was pissed at her also. we did not talk for a week. She IMed me telling me that she is a horrible girlfriend and all of this **** and I told her the reasons and she told me that she is never talking to me again and she is done with my ****.

 

She blocked me for 3 weeks, after that she unblocked me and started talking to me like NOTHING happened. She acted like she never told my friend that she does not care if I die and has better things to do. She started telling me that her boyfriend won't have sex with her in public. She made a joke about "I gave Anthony head at the movies, My boyfriend head at the movies, I need to be supervised lol". This PISSED me off. I cared so ****ing much for her and she is telling me this ****?. I made a 27 minutes recording yelling and crying and explaing how I feel. I have not talked to her in 2 weeks after that and I don't plan on ever.

 

I don't know, I love her so much, we had so many good times together. We have so many things in common. We would spend hours on the phone laughing and giving kisses over the phone. I miss all of this but I think back to how she treated me and her telling me to kill myself, nobody will miss me because nobody cares. I know she did not mean these things she said but why? why did she cheat on me with other women and guys, why did she yell at me for no reason, why did she put me through all of this **** for 4 years and never once said sorry. Why? I just want to know if I should unblock her and try to work things out. But she has the attitude of not giving a **** and saying "okay" or "yup" when I start to talk about this.

 

Is she hiding her feelings? Did she leave me and get into a relationship because she would not have to let her pain and hurt out for leaving me? and not because she said "I had to go out with him after what I did at the movies, I'm not a slut." I'm sorry this has been so long but I really need some help on this. I need to know if she will ever change. I need to know if she will ever become mature enough to talk to me about this. I need to know if i should give up and find that special girl that is out there. Thank you for reading my story.

Posted
Okay I will start this off by saying that this will probably be somewhat long but please read this so you will understand where I am coming from. I am 18 years old and my ex is 17 years old, I met her 4 years ago when I was 14 and she was 13. We met over AOL Instant Messenger. Back when I first met her I was set out to get her as a girlfriend because I was young and stupid and thought it would be cool but after time went on of us being friends she became more than a friend.

 

I never thought I would have fallen for her the way that I did. The first year we knew each other we went out for 8 months. We were so young and I never thought it would have lasted that long. As time went on I started to love her more and more everyday. At the age of 16 I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and so did she.

 

Back then we went through a lot, she had a phase where she was emo and wanted to kill herself. I remember when I was getting ready for school, something told me to get on AIM and when I did she IMed me telling me to call her. I called her and she told me that she cut her wrist and she was feeling cold and dizzy. I was so scared I did not know what to say, she told me her aunt was on the way and we got off the phone.

 

For 2 weeks I was stressed out because I had not heard from her. I got the courage to call her house and her dad answered. I asked him while trying not to cry because I thought she was dead. I asked him if she was okay and he told me yes she is in the hospital. for 1 week after that I was a little better but still no word from her. She came online and I jumped for joy.

 

After all of that we continued to love each other. She was young and did not know what she wanted, I went to New York for 3 days, I came back and she told me that she fell in love with another guy...I stayed here waiting for her to come back and she did, she left me again for another guy named Edward. When she was with him she treated me like ****, she did not care about me or anything she acted like he was the best person in the world. I stopped talking to her for 4 months and I had a dream that him and her were having sex, I woke up crying.

 

That dream made me log into myspace, get on her page, saw her new Screen name and I added her. It was a huge mistake that I made. We started talking again and after half of a year of them being together he left her and she came back to me like I knew she would. As time went on she started to change, she has anger issues and it's horrible. she would call me and yell at me for playing a video game while talking to her.

 

This is where it really gets bad and this is coming to an end. I love her with all of my heart, I have always been loyal to her and always stood by her side. She talked to me about our relationship being an open relationship and I thought about it and I agreed, so I asked her to promise me that she would not do ANYTHING with a guy until I came there and we made love which was going to be last month. So she said she promises she wont and I was happy.

 

I let her kiss other girls and do things with other girls. She told me she was going to the movies with a guy friend, I did not think anything about it and told her have fun and I love her. I texted her during the movie and got no reply. She came back happy and everything and I was happy that she had a good time. 4 days went by and on new years day of this year she told me "Baby I have something to tell you" I started shaking then she said "I know this is going to hurt you but it will hurt even more if I wait" I started to shake even more. She then said "I...I gave Anthony head"....I sat there and I read that and my whole body turned cold. I felt a chill going up and down my whole body, I stood up and fell down because my knees were so weak. Then I bursted into tears that could not stop flowing our of my eyes.

 

I could not believe that the girl that I loved and cared for SO much would do this to me. After I told her how hurt I was she said "I want to break up" okay at this point I could not say much, I called her and asked her why. she told me "We will be together in the future, I just want to experience life I am too young for this at the moment, I love you too much to regret our love" okay so I cried on the phone and accepted that we were done for now. I asked her if she had feelings for Anthony and she told me no. 2 days later she texted me from school and said "I lied, I do have feelings for him".

 

So when she got home I gave her a letter that I typed out for 2 hours, She read it and told me "that's cute"...I said "okay" then she said "I really wish you would move on" so I took that as okay I will move on. A week later she told me that she did not regret doing what she did and was not sorry for doing it. It's like she enjoyed knowing that I cried my eyes out and was so depressed that I lost 10 pounds in a week without working out. She called me yelling because I kept making her feel bad for what she did. She told me how she gave him head and everything, I got so pissed off that I punched my door and my whole arm went through it.

 

A week after this I was rushed to the hospital due to an Heart Arrhythmia. I texted her from the hospital and she did not care, she told me good luck after I told her "I might not make it I love you so much". after this I came home 2 days after and I was highly pissed with her, she got mad because her boyfriend Anthony used her for sex and I was pissed at her also. we did not talk for a week. She IMed me telling me that she is a horrible girlfriend and all of this **** and I told her the reasons and she told me that she is never talking to me again and she is done with my ****.

 

She blocked me for 3 weeks, after that she unblocked me and started talking to me like NOTHING happened. She acted like she never told my friend that she does not care if I die and has better things to do. She started telling me that her boyfriend won't have sex with her in public. She made a joke about "I gave Anthony head at the movies, My boyfriend head at the movies, I need to be supervised lol". This PISSED me off. I cared so ****ing much for her and she is telling me this ****?. I made a 27 minutes recording yelling and crying and explaing how I feel. I have not talked to her in 2 weeks after that and I don't plan on ever.

 

I don't know, I love her so much, we had so many good times together. We have so many things in common. We would spend hours on the phone laughing and giving kisses over the phone. I miss all of this but I think back to how she treated me and her telling me to kill myself, nobody will miss me because nobody cares. I know she did not mean these things she said but why? why did she cheat on me with other women and guys, why did she yell at me for no reason, why did she put me through all of this **** for 4 years and never once said sorry. Why? I just want to know if I should unblock her and try to work things out. But she has the attitude of not giving a **** and saying "okay" or "yup" when I start to talk about this.

 

Is she hiding her feelings? Did she leave me and get into a relationship because she would not have to let her pain and hurt out for leaving me? and not because she said "I had to go out with him after what I did at the movies, I'm not a slut." I'm sorry this has been so long but I really need some help on this. I need to know if she will ever change. I need to know if she will ever become mature enough to talk to me about this. I need to know if i should give up and find that special girl that is out there. Thank you for reading my story.

 

You'll both change, dramatically. You're both very young and still growing up. I doubt she'll ever want to talk to you about this, if she does it would most likely due to the other guy dumping her or her trying to get an ego boost.

 

Give up. Don't look back. Enjoy the road ahead of you. :)

  • Author
Posted
You'll both change, dramatically. You're both very young and still growing up. I doubt she'll ever want to talk to you about this, if she does it would most likely due to the other guy dumping her or her trying to get an ego boost.

 

Give up. Don't look back. Enjoy the road ahead of you. :)

 

You're so right, Every time another guy leaves her she came back to me. I am young so of course I made the bad choice and took her back when I knew it was wrong. Thank you for the reply :) I will enjoy the road ahead of me and I won't look back.

Posted

This is a really big one to think of. You love her, but it honestly doesn't sound like she loves you. It's almost like you're a game she can always come back to, like a security blanket. She also doesn't sound like she wants to change at all. You are going to have to stop talking to her. That's right, quit. Ask yourself if you're in love with her or if you're in love with her when she was good. You're stuck on your first love from the sound of it.

 

People change as they grow older, and this close to adulthood, she may never change. You're going to have to accept that she may never change, especially if she doesn't admit it's an issue AND try to do something about it. I mean do you seriously want someone cheating on you and acting as if your life means nothing?

 

Do this. Close your AIM account. Close your email. Close any online account you have to contact her. Delete her number and get a new one. If she is really just acting like this to annoy you or test you, you'll find out. Drop her altogether. If she wants you, she'll do something about it. If she doesn't, she'll just throw a tantrum or not even try.

 

Sometimes we get stuck on the first image of our first girlfriends. I can tell you that my first girlfriend I met in 9th grade, she was the most perfect person I had ever met honestly. She cared, she talked, she listened, she loved being around me. then we broke up because she moved. When I met her again in 11th grade because her parents moved back, she was completely different. So hard it was I will admit to realize that she wasn't herself anymore. She still talked, but never listened. She could no longer stand to be around me alone, there had to be like 3 other guys around (her friends). It dawned on me that she didn't want to be with me anymore, the issues with her mother and father were too severe for her to handle maybe, but I realized that despite knowing why she was behaving how she was, it would never change anything. I did see her recently a couple months back. She was in King's Dominion last summer. I recognized her off the bat, she didn't change much, and she was still walking around with a couple different guys. She didn't even know who I was for several minutes, my name fully slipped her mind. That hurt, but by then I had accepted that she was just not going to change.

 

The point is shut her off from you. No offense to her I suppose, but you can do way better than a cheater who feels no remorse for her actions and enjoys you feeling terrible. She doesn't know what she's missing, make her realize it, make her go away from your life. Delete her from your ability to contact. It's over.

  • Author
Posted
This is a really big one to think of. You love her, but it honestly doesn't sound like she loves you. It's almost like you're a game she can always come back to, like a security blanket. She also doesn't sound like she wants to change at all. You are going to have to stop talking to her. That's right, quit. Ask yourself if you're in love with her or if you're in love with her when she was good. You're stuck on your first love from the sound of it.

 

People change as they grow older, and this close to adulthood, she may never change. You're going to have to accept that she may never change, especially if she doesn't admit it's an issue AND try to do something about it. I mean do you seriously want someone cheating on you and acting as if your life means nothing?

 

Do this. Close your AIM account. Close your email. Close any online account you have to contact her. Delete her number and get a new one. If she is really just acting like this to annoy you or test you, you'll find out. Drop her altogether. If she wants you, she'll do something about it. If she doesn't, she'll just throw a tantrum or not even try.

 

Sometimes we get stuck on the first image of our first girlfriends. I can tell you that my first girlfriend I met in 9th grade, she was the most perfect person I had ever met honestly. She cared, she talked, she listened, she loved being around me. then we broke up because she moved. When I met her again in 11th grade because her parents moved back, she was completely different. So hard it was I will admit to realize that she wasn't herself anymore. She still talked, but never listened. She could no longer stand to be around me alone, there had to be like 3 other guys around (her friends). It dawned on me that she didn't want to be with me anymore, the issues with her mother and father were too severe for her to handle maybe, but I realized that despite knowing why she was behaving how she was, it would never change anything. I did see her recently a couple months back. She was in King's Dominion last summer. I recognized her off the bat, she didn't change much, and she was still walking around with a couple different guys. She didn't even know who I was for several minutes, my name fully slipped her mind. That hurt, but by then I had accepted that she was just not going to change.

 

The point is shut her off from you. No offense to her I suppose, but you can do way better than a cheater who feels no remorse for her actions and enjoys you feeling terrible. She doesn't know what she's missing, make her realize it, make her go away from your life. Delete her from your ability to contact. It's over.

 

Wow thank you for that reply. I agree with everything you said, these guys she left me for, she does not even know them but acts like they are so amazing and he is in love with them. I have made a new AIM account and I no longer get onto my old one. I have not added her to this new account either, I refrain from going to her myspace account and seeing her pic or anything. It's so hard but I know it is the right thing to do, she does not care about my life or how she made me feel. She hurt me in way that nothing in this world could ever hurt me and I can NEVER forgive her for that. I will always love her some what but I will never go back to her. Thank you for opening up my mind about this and letting me see that she is not right for me.

Posted

Sorry still to hear how your situation is and the best of luck to you.

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