Complicated situation, GF lost phone

[spiderowl]

Guess I'd like to add how sorry I am. It's horrible when you are left confused and it hurts like hell. I've been there too and it took some getting over. The way I came to terms with it was realising their behaviour is their problem. If they can't end a relationship in a decent, respectful manner then it says a lot about them. Also, it helped when I finally accepted that some things don't make sense and never will. Sometimes what people do does not make sense, sometimes not even to themselves.

[aerogurl87]

Hi, well I firmly believe she is 22 or around as a lot of things while we were on the phone gave me that indication. Anyhow, but I do agree with you guys now that she probably just played with me. It's been another 4 days now since her message, so I guess you guys were right . I've pretty much lost all hope now. More than that, I feel powerless not knowing for sure what is really happening, why she would do this. It's just hurting a lot as I really love her and at times we both talked about how our future would be like. This wasn't at all what I had in my mind. Anyhow, thanks everyone for their comments and support, it was great help.

 

I feel your pain WantToGetExBack, but my best advice is not to run after her. It will only push her away even further, trust me I know from experience. My ex boyfriend ended things with me 4 or so hours after he called me to tell me good morning and that I was "the one", his true love, the girl he wanted to marry, etc. I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me, my soul and heart were crushed, I lost my mind. I went to work and sometimes I would smell his scent out of nowhere, songs would play and I'd hear his voice singing along, I'd remember the way he used to say "I love you", basically I went crazy. But look at me now, six months later and I'm over that loser. He didn't appreciate me and I finally found someone who does. Someone who doesn't play games with my mind and heart, and I'm much better off.

 

So what I'm saying is, yes it will be hard, and yes these next few months (maybe even year) will be extremely hard. And yes you may think of her often (I thought of my ex every single day for 6 months) and no you will not fall out of love with her overnight, but you WILL get over her eventually. The process will be hard and painful, but once it happens and you find someone who will love you back the way you loved her, you will be extremely happy you moved on. Hearts are delicate things, and we all hope that when we entrust them to someone else they will handle them accordingly, but unfortunately that doesn't always happen. Sometimes hearts get broken, but with time we can pick up the pieces and put them back together.

[WantToGetExBack]

Sorry to bump this stupid thread, I realize I have probably not practiced the advice I got from all the people here, and that is why I'm still going through this misery. Anyhow, so I still haven't heard from her yet, however I have been texting her cell all this time and over these couple of weeks I have got few text messages back from apparently her brother's wife ( I say apparently because it could be her as well). I know everyone of you said I need to move on but now their texts have just confused me more. I'll just post some recent ones exactly as they appear on my phone:

 

March 11:

"If this was sanam she would have spoke to you by now common sense if she wants she will get in touch with you but she needs time dont text me now its enough"

 

March 14:

"I finally told her because i feel like i am stalked she said she will contect when she feels it is ok to do so. She said you have not gone through what she has so you can wait she needs to fix things."

 

March 18:

"You need to stop this non sense enough is enough now. She will contect you when she has little freedom and a phone if you are in a bad shape than is not partying here but if you care to know she is fine leave her alone and stop be for i report you."

 

I'm not worried about them reporting me as they are the ones who claim to have taken her freedom and phone away( as in the last message). But I just don't know now, I would think if she so badly wanted to dump me, she would tell me its the end of us rather than saying to wait for things to become good again. Whoever it is is mad because I have been texting crazy and they turn phone on like once or twice in a day.

[aerogurl87]

Sorry to bump this stupid thread, I realize I have probably not practiced the advice I got from all the people here, and that is why I'm still going through this misery. Anyhow, so I still haven't heard from her yet, however I have been texting her cell all this time and over these couple of weeks I have got few text messages back from apparently her brother's wife ( I say apparently because it could be her as well). I know everyone of you said I need to move on but now their texts have just confused me more. I'll just post some recent ones exactly as they appear on my phone:

 

March 11:

"If this was sanam she would have spoke to you by now common sense if she wants she will get in touch with you but she needs time dont text me now its enough"

 

March 14:

"I finally told her because i feel like i am stalked she said she will contect when she feels it is ok to do so. She said you have not gone through what she has so you can wait she needs to fix things."

 

March 18:

"You need to stop this non sense enough is enough now. She will contect you when she has little freedom and a phone if you are in a bad shape than is not partying here but if you care to know she is fine leave her alone and stop be for i report you."

 

I'm not worried about them reporting me as they are the ones who claim to have taken her freedom and phone away( as in the last message). But I just don't know now, I would think if she so badly wanted to dump me, she would tell me its the end of us rather than saying to wait for things to become good again. Whoever it is is mad because I have been texting crazy and they turn phone on like once or twice in a day.

 

Your right those texts don't make sense because it sounds like someone who doesn't know how to properly write in third person. I mean really, it sounds like she's writing you and trying to pass it off as someone else (and she's doing a bad job at it I must say). WantToGetExBack I think you know what you need to do. Let her be and get on with your life.

[Rollercoasterr]

You're going to get yourself in bad trouble one day. You're still bordering on that psycho stalker line.

 

She obviously enjoys playing with you, and it seems like you like it too.

[WantToGetExBack]

Your right those texts don't make sense because it sounds like someone who doesn't know how to properly write in third person. I mean really, it sounds like she's writing you and trying to pass it off as someone else (and she's doing a bad job at it I must say). WantToGetExBack I think you know what you need to do. Let her be and get on with your life.

 

Just curious what makes you think she is writing them herself? I feel if I am convinced it's her, it will make it easy for me to move on . But in this situation where I'm given some hope (which I think she wouldn't do if she did it to dump me), I don't know what to do other than just live on that hope.

[WantToGetExBack]

You're going to get yourself in bad trouble one day. You're still bordering on that psycho stalker line.

 

She obviously enjoys playing with you, and it seems like you like it too.

 

Well I know I have been excessively texting them, but it's just because I want an answer, which I feel I'm entitled to, as I have my life on hold here. I have text and said whatever the case is, you can tell me, and I will accept you decision. But just telling me to wait and not answer any other question I have, it's like they are torturing me. They will not report on me because whether it's her or her family, either way, they are on fault.

 

I'm just struggling to accept this because I feel she isn't the type to play like this, for year and half we've known each other, she just seems like the straight-forward type person. I have text them again and said if things don't look good, you can tell me and I will not text again. But I know they will not reply, and just make me text like crazy, and then reply the usual annoying wait it out.

[WantToGetExBack]

You're right and I am very thankful for everyone who has posted in this thread and gave me honest and thoughtful advice on how to get over this. I know I am just continuing to make this worse for me by keeping hopes up when in reality it's all over. I have tried going out for walk and being with people, but it's like the more I try to get my mind off, it ends up hitting me the worst way than I experienced before. Only thing that I feel helps me little is reading threads in the Coping section and knowing I am not the only one. And that more people have lost out on more meaningful relationships whereas mine was just a total farce. I just became emotionally attached with her so easily and deeply, I know I have never felt this way for anyone before and never will. And I don't think I can go out with a girl anytime soon, I don't have the motivation or energy, but I will try to focus on other things and aspects of my life and not cry about this anymore. One thing I know is I've learnt a lot from this, and whenever I have a proper, meaningful relationship again, it will have a more healthy, positive outcome.

[aerogurl87]

You're right and I am very thankful for everyone who has posted in this thread and gave me honest and thoughtful advice on how to get over this. I know I am just continuing to make this worse for me by keeping hopes up when in reality it's all over. I have tried going out for walk and being with people, but it's like the more I try to get my mind off, it ends up hitting me the worst way than I experienced before. Only thing that I feel helps me little is reading threads in the Coping section and knowing I am not the only one. And that more people have lost out on more meaningful relationships whereas mine was just a total farce. I just became emotionally attached with her so easily and deeply, I know I have never felt this way for anyone before and never will. And I don't think I can go out with a girl anytime soon, I don't have the motivation or energy, but I will try to focus on other things and aspects of my life and not cry about this anymore. One thing I know is I've learnt a lot from this, and whenever I have a proper, meaningful relationship again, it will have a more healthy, positive outcome.

 

The bolded part is something I want to just comment on real quick. First off, I'm glad you're trying to get over her now and letting her go. I know it's hard, very hard, but you will find someone else in time. You're right you probably never will feel the exact same way for someone else, but doesn't mean you won't find someone you'll feel as strongly for or even more strongly for later down the road. After my ex and I broke up I was in shambles, crying everyday, seeing him in my dreams at night, it was the worst. But as time progressed, and I went NC I found in time I did get over him. But looking back being in that dreadful relationship prepped me for what was and wasn't healthy in a relationship and helped me to make more clear boundaries, which has helped tremendously in my relationship with my current boyfriend (who might I add is 20 times better than my ex by all means). So I'm glad you've learned something from being with her, that's good, it's growth and will help you when you do find someone again.

 

Secondly, I'm happy you're not jumping straight into another relationship. I made the "rebound" mistake and actually ended up screwing up what had the potential to be an awesome friendship. Now it's just so so, although we still talk from time to time. So take your time, get out, make friends, find new hobbies. Work on you before you start trying to work on finding someone else. And last, but not least, I'm proud you've made this decision. Good luck in life and love.