Green Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 At least your both naked in my scenario. Also, if she doesn't ask, then it is not lying. I actualy recomend at a minimum avoiding the question if she asks... if you have to lie just say yes I've had sex and smile like the devil I personally wouldn't tell her. Don't see what good can come out of it. there really is no good that can come out of it if you have reached a certain age. I mean I gues if she was a virgin to. But really its like don't expect a woman to deal with screw ups any better if you tell her you're a virgin. And never apologize for bad sex or say sorry or ask if it was good. I thought about it and i think if it happens i'll tell her if she's wondering why im not that good or il tell her after the deed is done lol.. The other night was great we went out to dinner then we went back to her place were i spent the night with her. We talked about the whole sex thing and we both agreed on not rushing into doing something until we are both ready. and as of yesterday we are in a relationship:) Tell her after you guys have done it a lot and you feel comfortable. At that point she will find it romantic. It will only add stress if you tell her before you do it. If you love this girl, then feel free to make a move and go all the way then next time you spend the night. Also if you finger her good you can have her orgasming before you even have sex. Remeber if you can't get it in ask her to guide you (even experienced guys ask). and make sure you practice ROLLING the condom on.. yes it rolls on. USE ULTRATHIN. and NEVER APOLOGIZE or say SORRY for sex NEVER. Don't ask her how it was seems needy... she'll feel like she has to say good any ways. MAKE SURE YOU CALL HER before 3pm the day after you have sex and leave a msg if she doesn't answer.... call her the next day even if you woke up togather just telling her how much you like her and stuff... very important.
Author gsly Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 so this past weekend my now ex-gf and i went up to visit one of her parents two days and on our first night we ended up going to a party, i drank a little bit just to loosen up and she ended up drinking alot. well we got back to her parents house ended up making out with her for a good solid 3 1/2 hours before she asked me why my clothes werent off:D and i told her i wasnt in the mood just cuz the fact that she was drunk and i told her i wanted our first time to mean soemthing not just something we were rushing into well i dont know if that killed the mood for good but i think then telling her that i still had my vcard might of ruined it..the next morning we just layed around all day then she just left and i had to drive the hour and 15min drive home by myself..ended up breaking up with her that night..
threebyfate Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 so this past weekend my now ex-gf and i went up to visit one of her parents two days and on our first night we ended up going to a party, i drank a little bit just to loosen up and she ended up drinking alot. well we got back to her parents house ended up making out with her for a good solid 3 1/2 hours before she asked me why my clothes werent off:D and i told her i wasnt in the mood just cuz the fact that she was drunk and i told her i wanted our first time to mean soemthing not just something we were rushing into well i dont know if that killed the mood for good but i think then telling her that i still had my vcard might of ruined it..the next morning we just layed around all day then she just left and i had to drive the hour and 15min drive home by myself..ended up breaking up with her that night..Straight up, after 3.5 hours of making out, then being told she's too drunk, would be a major turn-off. Then, doing nothing about it the next morning, after telling her you wanted it to be special the first time, is also a turn off. Stop being so passive, giving out mixed signals, one after the other. Being a virgin is seriously no big deal. And the sooner you get rid of it, the sooner you're going to learn that it's not a big deal.
MalachiX Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I actualy recomend at a minimum avoiding the question if she asks... if you have to lie just say yes I've had sex and smile like the devil DON'T LIE!!! You shouldn't for two reasons. a.) You don't want to begin a relationship with that level of dishonesty. She'll probably forgive you since your lie would have been based on insecurity but she'll also always probably have a lack of trust to some extent. It's just not worth it. b.) At your age, you're still young enough that being a bit in-experienced can be a plus to woman. So many women have told me that they think it's sweet when a guy hasn't had that many partners (never asked them how they feel about a virgin but I assume it's similar). A lot of women find it easier to trust a guy who's not a player because it makes them feel safe to know that he doesn't have a sordid history and she's one of a select few. It might be a turn off for women looking for a casual **** but since you really like this girl I don't think she'll have a problem if you come clean. THAT SAID...I still don't suggest volunteering this information. If she asks, be honest and if she doesn't then don't tell her. Who knows, maybe you'll be great your first time and when she learns you were a virgin she'll be blown away.
MalachiX Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Ooops, didn't see your last post and that you broke up with her. It sounds like you're really frightened of losing your virginity. When you get older, you're going to realize what a wonderful gift it is when a woman tells you exactly what she wants. Most of the time, you don't have that luxury. You have to be aggressive sexually but always be careful not to push too much. It's really a tight-rope. Having a women tell you, "why aren't you naked," is that glorious green light where you don't have to think anymore. Even if you blew your first chance with this girl, why break up with her? If she really likes you and you really like her then you'll have another shot at sex and, more importantly, a relationship. It really sounds like you're running away because you feel inadequate. Also, since you're the one who's chickening out, it's really not a good idea to make this poor girl feel bad about herself. Telling her you don't want to do it because she's drunk sounds really judgmental. You drank too ya jerk! Wouldn't the gentlemanly thing be to blame yourself? It would have been much better if you said, "I really like you and I'd like our first time to be special. I really want to do this but some time when I'm not drunk." Then have another date, do something really snazzy, and bang her brains out.
lino Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 so this past weekend my now ex-gf and i went up to visit one of her parents two days and on our first night we ended up going to a party, i drank a little bit just to loosen up and she ended up drinking alot. well we got back to her parents house ended up making out with her for a good solid 3 1/2 hours before she asked me why my clothes werent off:D and i told her i wasnt in the mood just cuz the fact that she was drunk and i told her i wanted our first time to mean soemthing not just something we were rushing into well i dont know if that killed the mood for good but i think then telling her that i still had my vcard might of ruined it..the next morning we just layed around all day then she just left and i had to drive the hour and 15min drive home by myself..ended up breaking up with her that night.. If I was you, I would have definitely had sex after 3.5 hours of hot and heavy with my girl and her demanding for me to take off my clothes! Also, who broke up with who?
Author gsly Posted March 17, 2010 Author Posted March 17, 2010 It would have been much better if you said, "I really like you and I'd like our first time to be special. I really want to do this but some time when I'm not drunk." Then have another date, do something really snazzy, and bang her brains out. this was the plan, the following night she wanted me to find a private place for us and i did..i even told her that i had somethin special in mind. i guess she didnt care..i didn't say to her that she was drunk, i just said relationship wise i wanted our first time be sober then we could go wild after that..i was really caught off guard that night and i did tell her it was my fault
Green Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I still don't understand why you guys ended up breaking up. Just because she had been drinking, doesn't mean it wasn't special. Seriously having a girl ask you to take your clothes off... a girl you like ... well its very rare and it was a special moment. I think you were just scared and thats fine. Best of luck to you man, but stop trying to control things so much.
craw Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 great advice - rubbing her boobs? lol. take your time with her, getting to know her body, what she likes. you will figure it out, don't have to rush to have sex for the first time. to be honest, I wouldn't tell her you're a virgin. I have a friend, 21 who is a virgin and has been turned down by several girls because of this reason. if you don't know how to give head - watch some porn. oh yah, kiss her neck - depending on where you are kissing her, you will see her reaction.
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