gsly Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 so i've been seeing this girl for about 2 weeks now and basically everything has been going great..believe it or not her and i have so much in common it's not even funny..we were talking about sex and told me basically what she's looking for. now my questions are she told me she wont do anything with me if im shy(and i told her i am just a tiny bit) and do i tell her im a virgin or do i just go with the flow?
tami-chan Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 so i've been seeing this girl for about 2 weeks now and basically everything has been going great..believe it or not her and i have so much in common it's not even funny..we were talking about sex and told me basically what she's looking for. now my questions are she told me she wont do anything with me if im shy(and i told her i am just a tiny bit) and do i tell her im a virgin or do i just go with the flow? Are you a virgin and also shy? or are you just virgin because you chose to wait? I would NOT apologize for being a virgin if I were you-there is no shame in that-you should emphasize that you are a responsible and patient person who does/did not engage in sex frivolously....unless of course, you're not any of those?
Author gsly Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 i guess im just shy cuz i dont know what to do ...and im a virgin cuz im waiting for the right girl, and im thinking that this is the one:)
JohnM Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 No harm in telling her, its cool to wait until you are with someone you are comfortable with and are happy around, that way it will mean more to you on your first time. Don't apologize or anything of the sort She'll probably think its sweet. Just go for it when you are ready, don't be afraid though as its all good fun once you get over the initial hurdle so to speak!
JohnM Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Ah, it'll all come to you and you'll go on autopilot, just take it all easy. It'll be a bit better if its not her first time also as she'll be able to guide and re-assure you. Kudos for how you're going about it as its not easy to bide time and pick the right one. Try not to attach too much attention to the event so to speak just make it something to look forward to. Maybe look up some basics and take it from there gsly.
Author gsly Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 No harm in telling her, its cool to wait until you are with someone you are comfortable with and are happy around, that way it will mean more to you on your first time. Don't apologize or anything of the sort She'll probably think its sweet. Just go for it when you are ready, don't be afraid though as its all good fun once you get over the initial hurdle so to speak! yea..she can tell that im just a little shy, she told me she doesnt want to be with a guy who's shy but i told her im willing to overcome it
tami-chan Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 uhm..ok...she knows you are shy and then she tells you she does not want to be with a shy guy? I don't know OP, she sounds a bit mean...
sagetalk Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 If she dumps you because you're a virgin, then she is a moron and you're better off without her.
JohnM Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Hmm. Don't be feeling pressured mate. That's not the right circumstance, you're ready when you're ready. If you're quiet by nature thats how you are, you'll find your confidence naturally over time. Sex is a very personal thing, perhaps let her know you are a bit nervous but you'll be fine and just need some guidance on the first time. If she isn't understanding about that then its her loss.
BobSacamento Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her. Nothing good can come from it. Just go with the flow. If anything if you tell her it will only put pressure on her. My suggestion to you is make your move when your both pretty wasted. Then if you're terrible, blame it on the booze. 1
Green Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 How old are you? In my opinion telling her you are a virgin doesn't have to be a big deal. You shouldn't be scared or unconfident. Acting all scared will be the biggest turn off for her.
JohnM Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her. Nothing good can come from it. Just go with the flow. If anything if you tell her it will only put pressure on her. My suggestion to you is make your move when your both pretty wasted. Then if you're terrible, blame it on the booze. What on earth... You shouldn't waste your first time by getting wasted and messing it all up. Thats a poor idea. You don't need to get drunk, you want to be aware of what you're doing. She can deal with you letting her know, she can probably presume as much anyhow I'm guessing?
Kristine Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Yes you need to tell her you're a virgin if you plan to have sex with her, otherwise she'll think something is wrong when you cum in an instant, even if you masterbate you're going to cum very fast the first time you have sex. My 2nd husband was a virgin when we met, and he was honest with me about it.
threebyfate Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 If you want to test the waters, just slide it into regular convo, about virginity. Her responses will pretty much tell you all and also, give you an opportunity to tell her about yourself or to wander off. I sincerely believe it's a mistake not to say anything but I don't believe it needs to be delivered in an earth shattering, drama-loaded way.
alphamale Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 and do i tell her im a virgin or do i just go with the flow? you tell her you're the big "V"...some chicks will like it and some won't
Pink Cupcakes Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 If you are 24 or under, go ahead and tell her. 25 and above would be a turnoff. I know a 38 year old virgin guy friend, by the way. He really has issues so I hope you get this taken care of before you reach the point of no return, like where this guy is at. 1
Author gsly Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 Are you a virgin and also shy? or are you just virgin because you chose to wait? I would NOT apologize for being a virgin if I were you-there is no shame in that-you should emphasize that you are a responsible and patient person who does/did not engage in sex frivolously....unless of course, you're not any of those? she can tell im a responsible guy just from telling her what i am like..she knows that im not a whore and absolutely dont like them! No harm in telling her, its cool to wait until you are with someone you are comfortable with and are happy around, that way it will mean more to you on your first time. Don't apologize or anything of the sort She'll probably think its sweet. Just go for it when you are ready, don't be afraid though as its all good fun once you get over the initial hurdle so to speak! even thought we've gone on one date, we've been talking on the phone txt'ing each other, we'd be up every night talking on the phone til 3 or 4 int he morning..I honestly told her if i wouldn't have met her and we talked on the phone i'd date her just for her personality. Ah, it'll all come to you and you'll go on autopilot, just take it all easy. It'll be a bit better if its not her first time also as she'll be able to guide and re-assure you. Kudos for how you're going about it as its not easy to bide time and pick the right one. Try not to attach too much attention to the event so to speak just make it something to look forward to. Maybe look up some basics and take it from there gsly. I guess the way im thinking of what may happen is either A. I tell her that im a virgin and she could show me the ropes(if u know what i mean ) or B. she could think im a freak and just move on. uhm..ok...she knows you are shy and then she tells you she does not want to be with a shy guy? I don't know OP, she sounds a bit mean... I think she's just giving me crap about it..which she does have an aditude but i guess that's what i like about her! Hmm. Don't be feeling pressured mate. That's not the right circumstance, you're ready when you're ready. If you're quiet by nature thats how you are, you'll find your confidence naturally over time. Sex is a very personal thing, perhaps let her know you are a bit nervous but you'll be fine and just need some guidance on the first time. If she isn't understanding about that then its her loss. lol..we just were talking about it and we'll see maybe tomorrow night lol..we talked about holding off because we both dont want to rush into things. What on earth... You shouldn't waste your first time by getting wasted and messing it all up. Thats a poor idea. You don't need to get drunk, you want to be aware of what you're doing. She can deal with you letting her know, she can probably presume as much anyhow I'm guessing? She tells me she wants to get me drunk:D If you want to test the waters, just slide it into regular convo, about virginity. Her responses will pretty much tell you all and also, give you an opportunity to tell her about yourself or to wander off. I sincerely believe it's a mistake not to say anything but I don't believe it needs to be delivered in an earth shattering, drama-loaded way. I'll give it a shot later! and il tell ya how it goes
Satisfaction Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 If you are 24 or under, go ahead and tell her. 25 and above would be a turnoff. I know a 38 year old virgin guy friend, by the way. He really has issues so I hope you get this taken care of before you reach the point of no return, like where this guy is at. A guy(26 ) left it till the last minute to tell me, I stopped. Then I turned over and cried silently the rest of the night. I still can't figure out why I reacted like that.
threebyfate Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I'll give it a shot later! and il tell ya how it goesGood luck! Keep in mind that no one can ever control an outcome. Someone who appreciates who you are, is someone worth keeping. Someone who doesn't appreciate who you are, is someone worth discarding.
Green Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 A guy(26 ) left it till the last minute to tell me, I stopped. Then I turned over and cried silently the rest of the night. I still can't figure out why I reacted like that. So did you have sex with him? I guess the way im thinking of what may happen is either A. I tell her that im a virgin and she could show me the ropes(if u know what i mean ) or B. she could think im a freak and just move on. First off we need to know how old you are. You shouldn't expect her to "show you the ropes" as you put it. Very big turn off for most women. You should have a "I'm a virgin, so what!" attitude if you are 21 or under there is very little chance she will think negative things if you just play it cool. If you are 26 or over might as well keep it a secret or she might cry silently all night. 1
BobSacamento Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 A guy(26 ) left it till the last minute to tell me, I stopped. Then I turned over and cried silently the rest of the night. I still can't figure out why I reacted like that. Did you want to feel like you had more experience?
bac Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 if she does not want a shy guy, pretend that you are a confident alphaman. Do not tell her that you are a virgin, just have sex with her. Ask her about her preferences on male's sexual experience, then tell her that you are experienced at that level.
Author gsly Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 So did you have sex with him? First off we need to know how old you are. You shouldn't expect her to "show you the ropes" as you put it. Very big turn off for most women. You should have a "I'm a virgin, so what!" attitude if you are 21 or under there is very little chance she will think negative things if you just play it cool. If you are 26 or over might as well keep it a secret or she might cry silently all night. im 22..i dont expect her to show me the ropes it's just one of those things that would make it just a tad more comfortable..about the im a virgin so what attitude..thats what i got now..
aerogurl87 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her. Nothing good can come from it. Just go with the flow. If anything if you tell her it will only put pressure on her. My suggestion to you is make your move when your both pretty wasted. Then if you're terrible, blame it on the booze. I completely DISAGREE with this. TELL HER! The guy I'm talking to now is a virgin and the fact that he'd think of losing his virginity to me is a great compliment since I know he's been waiting to find the right girl to lose it to eventually. So yeah, tell her and see what she says. If she rejects you because of it, you're better off without her anyway.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 You're still at an age when it doesn't matter so much if you've ever had sex before or not. Although, any virgin I've ever been with has lasted about 10 seconds, so even if I hadn't known, it would have been so obvious. I personally never had a problem with a lack of sexual experience from guys. To me, sex is just a natural part of growing up that happens when it happens when the right time, place, and person comes along. Do you think she feels the same way? If so, she won't care. How old is the girl? Is she younger than you? Any nice girl isn't going to care either way though.
Recommended Posts