cg27 Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 (edited) Here is my story! My GF and I have everything going for us except timing, and communication. When we first met in June 2006 I was ready for the relationship, she said she was too. We went on a few dates, and they were incredible. Then she took off, and never told me why. 18 months later she re-appears. limited contact, until the 17th month, we were talking frequently. I do have to say I was excited, but I also was a bit cautious. Everything was going how I wanted it too. We were very happy. At the time we first met I was looking for a GF I wanted to settle down, and find the right on to marry, and start a family with. I was not in a hurry, but in no way did I want to drag anything out and wait a long time. I saw a lot in this girl I wanted I do have to say almost everything I dreamed of. The first night we talked we discovered how many of the same people we knew (almost 20 of the same friends), how we worked in the same mall 10 years ago for 2 years, and never saw each other. We went to different schools, and 13 years ago I would walk past her school every day on my way home, and she would be playing soccer, or running we never once bumped into each other. We did start to date, and we did have a great 2 year relationship. We did have a brief period of space, it was mainly for us to cool off after an argument we were both responsible for. She asked me if I still wanted to get married someday, and I said yes. I told her it would be best that she finished her master’s degree she started, and worked so hard on, and I was working of moving up the latter in my career. We both did great. She was ready to get married 6 weeks after we started dating. I told her wow that is so nice to hear, but let’s date for a while longer, and see how everything goes 6 weeks is too fast. The other day I asked her to marry me. She told me right now she is not ready, and will need 4 to 6 weeks to think about it. I told her wow! I was not expecting that. She asked me if we started dating went we first met in 2006, and she did not take off how would everything be. I said I don’t really know you never gave it a chance. But my intentions were to date, with marriage to the right person in mind, and that she had so much I was looking for. I respect her decision, and I am glad that she is telling me she needs time – it can make it much easier in the future by avoiding a divorce, and other misery. I know she is very busy right know and has a lot going on. It is not an excuse though. I don’t understand how someone can say I need 4 to 6 weeks to gather my thoughts, and think about it. It would be a yes or no answer. I love this girl will all my heart, and don’t want to and am not ready to move on. I am going to give her this time, and let her come to me. I do have myself prepared if 4 to 6 weeks, turns into 2 to 3 months that it is time to for to tell her. She also knows a i don't know also means no more weekends together, and we will not be seeing each other as much as we are used to. I am going to give her plenty of time to think about this by herself. I need a yes or no answer. And tell her if it is a no I will have to move on. I have the feeling that she does not know if she wants to get married or breakup. Edited February 28, 2010 by cg27
threebyfate Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 The girl's got some kind of secret, something she's not telling you about.
Author cg27 Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 I have thought about that too. I asked her if there is something she does not want me to know. Her response - I need time to figure myself out, clear my head, and really think about everything. 1. She is insecure about her weight. I told her you look great, and we can work at this together, the Dr. told both of us if we lost 10 pounds we would be at our ideal weight. 2. She is 30 and still lives with her parents. She is uneasy about this. but does nothing to make herself move out. 3. She is not completely happy with herself. Which I know it is important for her. She needs a more self confidence. I give her a lot of self assurance. She always takes what is given to her. She never asks for anything. I tell her all the time you have to ask for things you want unless I wont know.
ruthlessflower Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I think all you can do is give her the time to 'think' things through but prepare yourself for the worst. You've been there to support her and you do love her. Whatever she is hiding will come out in the open eventually.
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