canadaman111 Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 If you look at my past posts you will see about a girl I took out 3 weeks ago. We had a great time that night and she asked me in at the end of the night and I ended up staying the night. Then she told me she needed time and we didn't talk for a week. Then the next week we started talking again online a little bit. She informed me that she was talking/seeing other people and didn't really know what she wanted at this point. I told her that was fine, and that we had only went on one date. Then last week we started talking again everynight online and planned a date again for lastnight. We had a good time last night, but about half way through you could tell something was up. When I dropped her off I asked her if I could see her again, and she said she didn't know. After I drove home not having any idea where I stood I seen she was online and we got talking. I wanted to know what was up. So I found out she has been seeing anoter guy since before our first date and feels she is being unfaithful to him when she sees me. But she said she really likes me and said that she hopes we could be together someday. Basiclly the other guy came along first so she is more attached to him, which i can understand. I just don't know what to feel now. I really care about her and wnat her to be happy in life even if that means she is not with me. I can't help but feel used though. Why allow me to take her out lastnight and not tell me this before. Why waste our time. I would feel horrible leting someone tale me out and spend money on me just to tell them this afterwards. She said we can still chat, and I do intend to keep doing that. She said she really doesn't even know where things stand with the other guy. She said I am amazing and there is nothing she doesn't like about me. I told her for if things didn't work out for her and she wanted to see me again to let me know. She said she would for sure. Not that I am going to wait for her or anything like that, but she is a great girl. This is my first trip back into the dating game and it sure isn't much fun.
The Paper Knight Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 (edited) If you look at my past posts you will see about a girl I took out 3 weeks ago. We had a great time that night and she asked me in at the end of the night and I ended up staying the night. Sorry, but did you do it first night? If so, do NOT follow this one up possible gf material. I wanted to know what was up. So I found out she has been seeing anoter guy since before our first date and feels she is being unfaithful to him when she sees me. But she said she really likes me and said that she hopes we could be together someday. Basiclly the other guy came along first so she is more attached to him, which i can understand. BS the other guy was playing hard to get, you where just a fill in and soon as he decided to show up again BAM! You become yesterdays news. I just don't know what to feel now. I really care about her and wnat her to be happy in life even if that means she is not with me. I can't help but feel used though. Why allow me to take her out lastnight and not tell me this before. Why waste our time. I would feel horrible leting someone tale me out and spend money on me just to tell them this afterwards. You were used man and its a **** feeling. I have been that second guy many times before and subsequently the first loser. You have learnt a valuable lesson, that women can keep a clean conscious while stringing someone along. She said we can still chat, and I do intend to keep doing that. [slap to face] Noooooooooooooo! She said she really doesn't even know where things stand with the other guy. She said I am amazing and there is nothing she doesn't like about me. I told her for if things didn't work out for her and she wanted to see me again to let me know. She said she would for sure. Not that I am going to wait for her or anything like that, but she is a great girl. This is my first trip back into the dating game and it sure isn't much fun. No, it sucks, especially when you realizing you are fighting for girls. Seriously, disappear from this chicks life, do not keep her ego inflated anymore. If she comes chasing you be totally unavailable. Post back here if she comes crawling back. Edited February 28, 2010 by The Paper Knight
troggleputty Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Canadaman: What are you griping about here? You met an attractive woman and apparently got intimate on the first date. She had no problem getting physical with you without even knowing you (first date right?) and even while she was simultaneously involved with someone else. This girl sounds like a pretty standard who*re/party girl, not "girlfriend" material. Should you "stay in touch" and "keep friendly" with her? Of course...if you want to leave open the possibility of future FB/FWB type sex. Emotional involvement? Never! Not with this one.
Author canadaman111 Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 we never actually got intimate the first date. She did try but i told her we should actually be commited first. I think I am going to tell her that while I won't wait for her I do still like her, and want to keep talking.
sagetalk Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 She said we can still chat, and I do intend to keep doing that. This is my first trip back into the dating game and it sure isn't much fun. Why would you do that to yourself? Why? She already told you that you are inferior to another guy. I would want a girl that likes me better than some other guy, especially after you've been on a date with her. Tell her you need to think about things and stop messaging her for a few months. It is also troubling that she was ashamed of what she was doing to the other guy (making moves on you), but did she mention how crappy she was treating you? Very strange. Anyway you slice it, back away from her or the odds are in favor of you getting used and abused like a rented mule. If you do decide to talk to her (please don't), let us know when she starts talking about how great sex is with him, but how he's so mean to her and is a terrible person .
Author canadaman111 Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 Why would you do that to yourself? Why? She already told you that you are inferior to another guy. I would want a girl that likes me better than some other guy, especially after you've been on a date with her. Tell her you need to think about things and stop messaging her for a few months. It is also troubling that she was ashamed of what she was doing to the other guy (making moves on you), but did she mention how crappy she was treating you? Very strange. Anyway you slice it, back away from her or the odds are in favor of you getting used and abused like a rented mule. If you do decide to talk to her (please don't), let us know when she starts talking about how great sex is with him, but how he's so mean to her and is a terrible person . Yes she was crying last night telling me about this. I do think she feels horrible. The thing is she says i am exactly what she wants and needs, but the other guy came along first and that is why she is attached. Could be just an excuse i guess. It sure feels like she just wants to keep me around in case the other thing doesn't work. Honestly now i will need to do a lot of thinking before ever getting involved again with her.
tami-chan Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Is it not entirely possible that she is just not sure who she wants to be with at this point? Are people not allowed to weigh things? Of course, if OP does not want to wait around, that is his prerogative, as it is her prerogative to take time to choose. That said, I would not wait- simply because I have far too much chip off my shoulder to be one of the choices....! (How's that for being full of myself?)
marsle85 Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 You're not really going to wait around for this girl, are you? That's ridiculous. If there's nothing she doesn't like about you, she would not be dancing around and with this other guy. This is the situation: She likes you (very much possibly) but she likes the other guy better. And there is nothing more unattractive than someone who is desperate and waiting. You need to move on. Talk to her, sure. But she is NOT your priority and you need to start seeing other girls right away.
TouchedByViolet Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 She sounds like bad news and poor gf material.
mortensorchid Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 C-Man, don't do it. She's just using you. When she fails with this other or another dude that she's seeing, she'll come back to you until something better comes along. We've all been there, but you have to dig in your heels, say no, and move on. Otherwise you will end up getting hurt.
sagetalk Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 That said, I would not wait- simply because I have far too much chip off my shoulder to be one of the choices....! (How's that for being full of myself?) Then I must be full of myself too. I think it's more likely that we are very desirable and we now it .
troggleputty Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 we never actually got intimate the first date. She did try but i told her we should actually be commited first. I think I am going to tell her that while I won't wait for her I do still like her, and want to keep talking. OK when you said you "stayed the night" I assumed you stayed with intent... In any even this is a girl who basically wants to have sex with you on the first date while she's got another boyfriend on the string. The answer's no different. Why would you want to make an emotional commitment to someone like that, you know her true colors, she's a tramp.
tami-chan Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 hmmm..somebody's been hurt bad and lashing out...your projection is showing-maybe you should start your own thread? Just saying....<shrug>
DustySaltus Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 She sleeps with you on the first date and then decides that you are second best? By continuing to chat with her you are saying that it's ok for her to treat you in that manner. Not a good start to ANYTHING. Think about it.
Author canadaman111 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I am not going to wait for her. I actually told her today that I won't be waiting for her. Also i told her that if her feelings did change to let me know, and that I do like her i told her i am not gaurenteeing her that if her feeling changed i would still want her back. So she knows i am not waiting, she says she still wants to talk. We will see how that goes. i won't start a conversation, we will see how bad she wants to talk
lordWilhelm Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 First of all, I would suggest you stop this talking online to her. IMO, you should be connecting to her in person, and being readily available online makes you too readily available for her -- it's better to be a bit mysterious and alluring. She's free to date as many guys in parallel as she wants to until she's in a committed relationship... it seems though she's attracted enough to you to keep dating you, that's the real issue.
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