jennie-jennie Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I guess you are trying to get some insight into your own MM and perhaps his wife -in the sense that you wonder/worry how she will react and whether they will be able to re-establish true intimacy and affection. I guess also that that possibility would leave you in a lonely and unhappy position. It is a big risk for you.[/b] True, I guess, although my reasons for discussing in this thread were only to figure out when would be the best time for a confession. I feel like I have been hoping that somehow we will be the exception that manages to get round this long therapy thing and my MM will just be able to make a choice somehow, perhaps with the aid of a confession that would make everything blow up and come out. Let the pieces fall where they may. Now after participating in this thread I feel like a premature confession would just be a way for my MM to be relieved of the responsibility of making a choice. Our situation feels similar to when I was asking my alcoholic SO to go to AA. I didn't ask him to become sober, but to go to AA. I have pretty much stopped asking MM for a choice to be made and instead hope he will start therapy and that that in the end will help him know what to do with the two women in his life.
jennie-jennie Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 It is a big risk for you. I do have a longing for the relationship to come out in the open, even if it would mean the end of it. I feel a need to have it tested out in the light. I never wanted to have a secret relationship. I never kept it secret for anyone close to me, including my SO. I would never hide a relationship like my MM has done. To be honest that feels immature to me. But it seems to me that the timing is of importance.
Tough2 Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 But it seems to me that the timing is of importance. I'm new here, but have just completed reading this thread with great interest. Jennie-Jennie, you sound like a wonderful woman who is understanding and much like my love. I am also in the time of making a difficult choice. I care deeply about my wife, but my love is my LOVE. I think of her constantly and long to be with her. But, as you say, timing is of great importance.
jennie-jennie Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 I'm new here, but have just completed reading this thread with great interest. Jennie-Jennie, you sound like a wonderful woman who is understanding and much like my love. I am also in the time of making a difficult choice. I care deeply about my wife, but my love is my LOVE. I think of her constantly and long to be with her. But, as you say, timing is of great importance. Thank you, Tough2, your words make me happy and give me strength. I hope things work out for the best for you.
wheelwright Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I do have a longing for the relationship to come out in the open, even if it would mean the end of it. I feel a need to have it tested out in the light. I never wanted to have a secret relationship. I never kept it secret for anyone close to me, including my SO. I would never hide a relationship like my MM has done. To be honest that feels immature to me. But it seems to me that the timing is of importance. This post touched me because I think timing and circumstances have such a huge part to play. So I looked up some quotes from wiser thinkers that me. It is often difficult to change circumstances, but a positive attitude can help lift discouragement. - This one because it epitomises your approach You have the power to think what you want. No matter what the circumstance. What's madness but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance? - This one because of the split self stuff This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live. - This one for your MM.
jennie-jennie Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 This post touched me because I think timing and circumstances have such a huge part to play. So I looked up some quotes from wiser thinkers that me. It is often difficult to change circumstances, but a positive attitude can help lift discouragement. - This one because it epitomises your approach You have the power to think what you want. No matter what the circumstance. What's madness but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance? - This one because of the split self stuff This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live. - This one for your MM. Thanks, WW, you are sweet. I read your sayings and pondered over them.
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