onewillburn Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I heard somewhere that for men, the amount of pain you feel when a relationship is over is proportional to the amount of yourself you compromised when you were in the relationship. So if you made a lot of sacrifices for the sake of keeping the relationship going, you will feel a lot worse when it ends than if you had stood your ground. I think this makes a lot of sense, because towards the end I sacrificed a lot in hopes of keeping her happy. I felt like I was working hard to fix our problems, but really I was just inhibiting myself and making new problems. Thoughts?
deux ex machina Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 (edited) I heard somewhere that for men, the amount of pain you feel when a relationship is over is proportional to the amount of yourself you compromised when you were in the relationship. So if you made a lot of sacrifices for the sake of keeping the relationship going, you will feel a lot worse when it ends than if you had stood your ground. I think it could, it's a factor to consider. There are so many variables that could account for the amount of pain a person goes through (or not), when a relationship ends. A lot of it not having much to do at all with how "special" one perceived the other person to be. I think this makes a lot of sense, because towards the end I sacrificed a lot in hopes of keeping her happy. I felt like I was working hard to fix our problems, but really I was just inhibiting myself and making new problems. Thoughts? There's legitimate compromise that happens in a healthy way (with both participating, and agreeing), and then there are unbalanced relationships, where it's all too easy to lose yourself. What you are doing now, taking the time you need to review what went on, being introspective, will definitely serve you well when you can apply what you have learned wisely in future. I wish you the best. Edited February 28, 2010 by deux ex machina
Ro2Pi Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I agree 100% that's a contributing factor of all the pain and such when ending a relationship. Whether it's specific to men, I can't say.
USMCHokie Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I'm a guy and I don't want to love again... Disclaimer: I'm trashed...
TaraMaiden Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I'm a lady and all this "Men feel this, women feel that" is crap. honestly, it is. There's no Richter scale for emotions. There's no base-line, no point of comparison. No point IN comparison. Break-ups hurt. They hurt the person dumped, more than they hurt the dumper. That's the only factor to remember. "I heard somewhere"..... Be specific. Or else, it's all make-believe. My pain's deeper than your pain. Men do this. Women do that. Guys feel this. Gals feel that. It's all pain, it's all deep, it all hurts, we all bleed.
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