angelj Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Men - lets hear some insight Met Jake a year ago at my best friends wedding. In fact, we were in the wedding together - he is the groom's cousin. We walked down the aisle etc - totally attracted to each other, "made out" shared a couch, that was about it. 2 days of fun, didn't exchange numbers - I thought nothing of it. One and a half years later - he finds me via facebook. (this occured about 2.5 weeks ago) Messaged me - which turned into a LOT of mutual messaging which developed into texting and then phone chat. He lives an hour away - drove down for our belated Valentines date. He cooked me dinner - pulled out all the stops - hooked up, took me out the next day (no sex) WOW what a great time. He is 28, I am 27 and talk about serious awesome chemistry. We have talked roughly everyday, only sometimes missing a day in between. 95% of talks are initiated by him - a lot of texts. I am 9-5 he is a firefighter. Our schedules are a bit tricky as well as the distance (yet that gap is closing in a month as I am moving south to a new office) Quick rundown of the text/phone chat: relationship talk, ideal relationships, ideal characteristics in another, sexual chat, etc. Surprised how much we click - also surprised I am interested - at the wedding, his drunken antics didn't really make the best first impression. We have a good time. I have a bit of cheat sheet being connected with the family via my best friend. His cousin (the groom) sat me down recently and asked how things were going. Said it sounded all good - he had apparently told his mom about me and our date and what a blast he had. The groom also told me not to become a crazy girl and get too ahead of myself because the moment I did it would probably not work out...hm. Also said he likes his time with his friends and his boat etc. I dig it, I am the same. However, a girl gets a little spoiled from 10 days of constant attention and dinner etc. Now - I may be "getting ahead of myself" hence why I need a coach. I've been out of this game for a minute or more. I have noticed him laying off the gas lately - not completely, just a little easing up with the texting. Don't get me wrong, I still get the "muah" here and there in the morning or before bed and the how is your day and etc. Wednesday he definitely siad hey, I like you too after I said you know, you're alright and I kinda like you. What I am getting at is - I asked yesterday if he was working all weekend and his response was "SUnday yes, saturday I have to put in a lot of work on my boat" I left it alone I was working said Ok, well I gotta get back to work we will catch up later. That night, he went out and played pool with his buddies. Typical girl response - dude wtf why didn't we make plans? This was totally going through my head. But I reassured myself I am over reacting and psychoness is not needed. I told him to have a good time and kick some ass. Now what guys? I can't help but trick myself into thinking this is fizzling out. Perhaps I am letting my over-analyzing g/fs sway me. Also - He was with a girl for 2 years, got her a ring and she broke his heart. This happened about a year ago. He bought his house 8 months ago and has poured all his time into renovating it along with his new boat. Does any of this factor in or is he not so into it? Just trying to play it cool. 'preciate the feedback
aroll32 Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Ok, I am not a "coach" but this is my advice to you: Calm down. He sounds like he's a busy guy and enjoys time with his friends. Sure, he enjoys spending time with you too. But, what you can do now is not contact him. I'm sure he will contact you. If you contact him, seem insecure about what is happening, it's going to make him think twice and back off even more. Trust me, something very similar just happened to me. You can still talk to him, but try not to think about him as much, go out with your friends and don't worry about what he's doing. This shows that you AREN'T affected by him backing off a little. Who know why he's backing off? He may have even forgot his phone somewhere. I don't think you've done anything to make him back off, so don't stress about it. Just be cool. Play a little hard to get. It will make HIM wonder instead of you wondering why he went out with his buddies to play pool instead of hanging out with. Just take it easy, this probably isn't anything at all. He has been the one initiating contact a lot, so maybe he thinks that it's making him seem too eager. If anything, he is trying to keep your interest. See how you're writing on here about him? He's got you thinking. Now the best thing for you is to get HIM thinking. I normally would pull for a dude in this situation, but I'm trying to help you out here. Hope it helps
Author angelj Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 Thanks Aroll - I love the valuable info that you fellas can relay now and again... What is funny is my brother said the same exact thing. And even funnier, as I sat here writing this I thought - woah, this guy has me sitting here posting and thinking! (crap, I must be feelin him...) Very sweet response. Thank you and value the honesty. I suppose because I am stuck out housesitting in the middle of nowhere, my thoughts are overwhelming You mentioned being in a similar position...what happened?
aroll32 Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I'm glad you liked my post. Because when I say I was in a similar situation, your last post confirmed it was VERY similar. I'm actually pretty tired of writing about what happened with this girl. I basically was in your situation. Funny, yes. I was stuck at home a lot when we were seeing each other so I had nothing else to do but think about her. I already had a crush on her before we started talking, and that eventually turned into me liking her a whole lot. So needless to say when she started backing off a little, I thought about it more and more until my head was in knots. So without going into details, I lost one of the best girls I've ever dated. Haha, oh well, life goes on. And good luck with your situation. I'm sure it will work it out. Just remember, the best thing for you is to get him thinking (like she did to me )
Author angelj Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 Ah - I see. I suppose I will work on that. I used to be pretty decent at it..its been a while as I've mentioned and I am tired of games. Although, I suppose a little mystery is exciting. I'll try it out. Besides that, I am dying to see this guy again - its been over a week! Too bad he flipped the script faster than I could blink...he's been thinking about me on and off since the wedding and here am I now thinking about him! I suppose he worked his magic. I need to lock this one down - lol:D
aroll32 Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Yup, there is nothing wrong with a little mystery. That's why dating IS exciting, because it's mysterious. And that's why nobody has figured it out, that's why we are posting on this website haha. And I can understand you don't want any games, I didn't want any games until this last girl. She made me see the REAL side of dating. If you don't play the game, you don't even have a chance to win. So again, it sounds like you're having fun with this guy, so just keep having fun. Don't be concerned and try not to let his behavior affect you. And play some games, you may be surprised with the results. Good luck
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