how to maintina lc, or nc with children involved

[scalcs]

just wondering if it is possible, have been separted for almost a year, and we have fooled aroung sleeping togehter many times, but it just does not work for me anymore, sex is great but that is all it is with her, she goes hot and cold on me>.i ask to get dirvorce started, she told me that i can do it to>>i need to stay away from her, but we have children and I am activley involvoed with their lives, any advice

[ADF]

You cannot totally severe your life from your partner if you two have children. Well, actually you can, but only if you also severe contact with your kids, which is immoral, unlawful and clearly not what you want to do.

 

What you need to do is stop sleeping with and otherwise socializing with your ex. Keep your relationship about doing what is best for your kids. Parent together, but leave it at that.

[2sunny]

think of it this way:

 

sex is full contact

talking is contact

touching is contact

watching is contact (the mind is processing the body language, eye contact)

 

with kids involved - i have my kids deal directly with my xH. they are old enough. they call him directly, make arrangements and follow through with his communication directly. it keeps me at bay and keeps me in a safe and healthy mindset.

 

are your kids old enough to do this?

[feelingfine]

I know, it is a tricky thing going NC when kids are involved. We have three. Have been separated for almost 10 months. We have NOT been together romantically at all. I can't even imagine that.

 

I guess what I do is ask him for a schedule each month for when he wants to see the kids. Then I don't have to call him and ask or wonder when he is going to squeeze them into his busy life. When he texts/email me about something other than the kids, like just to check in or say hi I don't respond. He is the one who abandoned this life.

 

If it is something regarding the kids I will reply. Hope that helps a little.