masaki1085 Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 For Valentine’s Day, I gave my girlfriend a portrait of her that I personally drew. The portrait was carefully drawn in pencil and had taken me about two months to complete. The portrait itself was very personal—I had used a photograph as a reference that I had taken of her smiling at me on our second date. When I gave her the gift, she was blown away. In total shock. Speechless. She had told me she had never received a gift like that before from anyone. She said she was really touched—best Valentine’s Day gift she had ever received. I was really touched in return by her appreciation. She, of course, took the gift home with her, but she also decided to bring the portrait with her to her place of work and show friends of hers that she worked with. This was the Thursday right after Valentine’s Day—about a week and a half ago. Yesterday, I was in her room at her house and I had asked her about the portrait (because it wasn’t there or in her house), and she said it was still sitting in her car from that Thursday. To her credit, she explained that she had hoped to run into one of her friends to show her the portrait, but she had not crossed paths with her yet. In addition, she has also been really stressed out about a lot of personal things over the past few weeks as well, and has had a lot of other things on her mind. I don’t want to be a jerk. After all, the gift itself is meant to be a gesture of my appreciation for her—it was not meant to be about me, and I don’t want to make it about me. She’s a good girl and treats me very well, and feels very much in love with me the way I feel very much in love with her. As I mentioned, she has also been stressed out from other personal things. I don’t want to make a big deal or be reactive to something that may, in fact, not be a big deal. But, I have to admit that the gesture on her part hurt my feelings a little bit—she had told me that the gift had meant so much to her, but for a week and a half it had been sitting in the backseat of her car. I want to communicate how I feel, because I feel a little taken for granted. But, I don’t want my feelings on this matter to change or belittle the meaning of my gift to her. I’m feeling really conflicted and am not sure how to communicate how I feel on this matter. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
lordWilhelm Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Look, she told you that she appreciated it and showed it to her friends. If you felt the thanks were genuine, I'm not sure what you'd like her to do about it -- it's her gift, and she can put it wherever she wants.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 To her credit, she explained that she had hoped to run into one of her friends to show her the portrait, but she had not crossed paths with her yet. She will show her friend the portrait when she sees her, then take it out of her car and put it on display at home. And I am sure that no matter what, she will never forget the gift you gave her. Chill.
CarrieT Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Get over it, dude. It is not how a gift is received, it is about the giving. Once the gift is given, it needs to be forgotten about and not dwelled upon.
Art_Critic Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 She will show her friend the portrait when she sees her, then take it out of her car and put it on display at home. And I am sure that no matter what, she will never forget the gift you gave her. Chill. Yeah......
EYECANDY000 Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 you are totally blowing this up! please dont approach her and say that you feel like the gift isnt appreciated.....
spiderowl Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Well, I can see where you are coming from because I am also an artist and know how long these things can take. I know how personal they feel too. But, you decided to draw the picture, she didn't ask for it. You decided to give it her as a surprise gift. Once this gift is given, it's up to her what she does with it. In all honesty, despite her praising the portrait, it may not be her kind of picture. She may be the kind of person who does not really like photographs or portraits of herself and so, although appreciative of the effort you've put in, may not prioritise it in her life. I can see your concern, having put all this work in, but unless you just let this go it will affect your relationship with her. I think you should treat this a bit like a commission. When I do a commission for someone, I make a copy of the painting and keep the copy for my files and so that I can look at it sometimes. That way, it's not completely lost. Then I hand over the painting and forget about it. It belongs to someone else now and it's fate is not my concern.
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