scatterd Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Went to see my daughter the other night like I did before.husband brought me there we stopped to eat I asked question about this girl friend at work and found out he had even met her parents.I got pissed and walked out as he acted so offended.Well while at daughters I had hopes he would keep our agreement and not be around her no more.I called and called home no answer he sits on computer at night he was not on that,So I knew where he was gut feeling.Im tired of him swaring he has done nothing and disrespecting me.I tried hard to make it work but he is going to do what he wants.I dont care how much he wants to work it out now.I am feeling resentment I dont really want to look at him im descusted.My hope is gone and going to get out it hurts but im sick of it.I have a hard time beleiving that nothing is going on what do you guys think.
Author scatterd Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 I am wondering is it normal to feel like I do I am pissed, hurt, up and down he claims she is just a friend he made an agreement not to go with her then he Denys remembering that.He plays I dont remember also I am having a hard time feeling good about myself.I am so confused I cry every morning I am sick of hurting I thought it was going so good then he slams me again.It is pretty bad when I know hes going to betray me and he does I had so much hope.17 yrs of loving him and he does this knowing how I would feel.I called her and asked her woman to woman if she is his friend she should send him home she said she would that she did not know also.
2sunny Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 (edited) they are both playing you for a fool and you are allowing it... you are giving them full permission to walk all over you. stop it. do not participate with them any longer. let your kids deal with him directly - this keeps you away from any form of communicating with him at all. you will find that he can no longer manipulate, lie and try to control you when you take yourself out of that equation. things will feel weird for a bit - but they will start to be better for you if you follow this plan of action. after a while you will have clarity of what is ACTUALLY going on (come on - he met her parents). this is designed to help you heal. get busy. Edited February 27, 2010 by 2sunny
Author scatterd Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 I know he gets off work late and her mom and dad just happened to be there.What is crying and saying he loves me he will do anything to earn my trust.he said that after I caught him sneaking down stairs to cll her weeks before and we was doing so good this sucks I am a good wife he even said so I think he wants his cake and eat it too.Thank you for the reply.
2sunny Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 his actions must be in direct correlation with his words. since evidence shows that this is not the case - there is no reason to begin to believe a word he says. and no reason to talk to him - since he also shows he is a liar.
Disintegration Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 I'm so sorry you are hurting and having to deal with your H's behavior. In order to regain his trust and move forward he needs to drop her as a friend. Do you think it has gone on beyond just an emotional thing? It needs to end before he cheats. You are his wife she is "just a friend" you should come first, who really cares how she feels about it. How long has this friendship been going on? You mentioned you have been together 17 years I don't think she's been in the picture just as long or longer, so they have no right to say well we've been friends for years. I hope you feel better, I know it isn't healthy to cry everyday about this, that can only bring you down, but I know it too is easier said than done. Don't give up, tell your H he has to cut all communication with her off or you'll be gone.
FryFish Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 Dont buy the "I Dont Remember" crap. It is simply lying... and LAZY lying at that. While the cheater is SAYING "I dont remember" they are vividly remembering exactly what happened. Even black out drunks remember most of the night.
Author scatterd Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 Thank you for the response we had a long talk he promises nothing happpened and understands how it looks.I am giving him one last chance to prove to me I can trust him I told him the dangers of him befriending her he wants me to meet her.I told him no more going over there alone If they want to have a couple of beers she can come here.He says he considers her to be a kid but he works with her and just unwinds and comes home.I hope nothings going on I seem to beleive him for some reason.Am I being stupid or fair I dont know but he seems to think if I meet her I will understand and not be threated.I hate the way I have felt and how angry and hurt I have been.Should I do this?Do you think it could hurt I want to trust as I did for yrs.Anymore input would be nice you guys are great for advice.
Disintegration Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Thank you for the response we had a long talk he promises nothing happpened and understands how it looks.I am giving him one last chance to prove to me I can trust him I told him the dangers of him befriending her he wants me to meet her.I told him no more going over there alone If they want to have a couple of beers she can come here.He says he considers her to be a kid but he works with her and just unwinds and comes home.I hope nothings going on I seem to beleive him for some reason.Am I being stupid or fair I dont know but he seems to think if I meet her I will understand and not be threated.I hate the way I have felt and how angry and hurt I have been.Should I do this?Do you think it could hurt I want to trust as I did for yrs.Anymore input would be nice you guys are great for advice. You could meet with her, but I don't want them to also play you for a fool either if something has or were to happen. Why can't they not "hang out" anymore, I mean if you are uncomfortable with it. You are his W she's just a coworker. I think what you say and want should come before anyone else. If you really believe your H and want to meet with her and be friends with her too then becareful with that as well. I've heard so many times of people getting close to others and not having a clue that something was going on. You don't want to feel worse if you let her into your life just to find out she slept with your H, you know what I mean?
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