DenverBachelor Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Well I've had quite the night partying in Denver. A city cop caught me smoking something I shouldn't have been smoking but being the great city of Denver he let me go along my merry way. As I was walking back to my apartment, I realized I needed to start reflecting on the strengths and good times of my past relationship and completely stop reflecting on the bad times and hatred. A real slap in the face was the realization that, although cheating is wrong, she cheated because she was unhappy. There were things I did to obviously make her unhappy and I realized I needed to own that pain and deal with it. But I realized I needed to let go of that pain and focus on the better times and draw strength from them. When you can stop looking back at the good times while crying and then look back at them while smiling -- that's when you realized you've jumped that last hurdle. You are no longer entangled in the self-doubt, the remorse, the anger, the abandoned feelings -- you realize, "Holy ****, I'm only human -- and I'm allowed to make mistakes. I'm allowed to fall down and get back up again." I realized that I was avoiding getting up for too long because staying on the ground has a certain amazing ability to allow yourself to throw a one-man pity party. ------------------------------- So, I've said enough philosophical bull**** but I wanted to share something and ask something. I simply want to know ... "What was your favorite memory of your Ex?" I will share mine now. I drove from Maryland to Colorado in a two day marathon because I wanted to get to her as fast as possible. I loved her with all my heart and needed the move and the new experiences. My favorite memory, out of so many too number, was after driving for two days straight, walking into our new apartment and realizing, "My god, I'm finally with the person I love to death and want to marry and fight for no matter what." I don't regret the words or the memory, because in my heart, I knew it was just too amazing to finally have been with my best friend that I had known for six years, but from afar. I remember so much but one of the things I was most fond of from the memories when before we dated -- when we were best friends. I remember being in Maryland and going outside to talk to her while she was outside in Colorado. I remember looking up at the moon and realizing something profound. I told her, "look up, do you see the moon?" She said, "yeah, it is really bright." I told her, "Isn't it amazing we can be 1,600 miles apart yet still see the very same thing exactly with the same detail?" You don't share years with somebody and go on hating them. Eventually you realize that hatred is a refusal to accept. You realize you're better than that and that you can move on and take the best times and use them as strength. There is nothing better than being able to remember, but to have first lived it. Remember that next time.
Chi NZ Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 There is nothing better than being able to remember, but to have first lived it. Remember that next time. This has more meaning for me than anything I've read, researched or thought about up until this point. Thank you DB, and keep fighting the good fight!
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