jb89 Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 So, last night, a friend of mine sent me a message telling me that she was in her friend's stickam chat room (video chat website) and that a guy who looked identical to my ex's new boyfriend was in there, half naked, flirting with the girls. I didn't believe it at first, but I went in, and low and behold, there he was. Drinking beer on cam (he has her convinced he doesn't drink), and flirting with the girls through private messaging. He was dressed at the beginning of the chat then he took his shirt off. Anyway, someone in the chat asked if he was single, and he replied "yeah I am." My friend told me she took screenshots of everything, with him on webcam, saying "yeah I'm single" and she talked to her friend, and she told her everything he had been saying. He has a reputation for talking to younger girls online (he's in his early 20s) and I told my now-ex this, but she told me about how much he's changed, etc. Basically, my friend typed up a message including the screenshots, to send to my ex, because she felt it'd be wrong to sit there and watch this happen and not say anything to her. The message basically explained what had been going on, and it specifically said that I was not involved, because I wasn't. She ignored the message. She didn't read it. I've been NC for 3 weeks+ and I'm well over the point of wanting to be back with her. I also think that it's messed up to not say anything, but I don't want to be the one to say something to her because I would be breaking NC and I would also be making it seem like I had something to do with it. Any ideas?
Author jb89 Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 I think the main thing with this situation is, I don't want to see her get cheated on, just because I do still give a ****, and I'm too nice of a person.
threebyfate Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 She' knows you know!!! SHE DOESNT GIVE A DAMN! The only way to make her regret it is if she attempts to communicate with you, then you drop the bomb on her. either she'll deny it or she'll be remorseful but until then she doesnt care. When or if this guy becomes a scumbag and reverts to his old ways then it'll happen until then live your life free of stupidity.jb89, do you recall this post from one of your previous threads? Apparently CB was right, about this guy being a scumbag. The part that he didn't foretell, is that your ex still doesn't care. But if you consider how she and he got together, behind your back when the two of you were in a relationship, did you expect there would be honour amongst thieves? Stay away from this girl. She's poison and deserves to be with this guy, who's also poison.
counterman Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Whatever you do, I doubt she will realise how her boyfriend really is. She is already convinced that he has changed and nothing anyone else says will force her to believe otherwise. The only way she will learn is if she sees it for herself and is confronted with the reality. You should stick to No Contact. By actually doing something about this shows that you still care about her and what would it result for you? She probably won't even believe you and you might end up hurt because she dismissed your word so easily. Get what I'm saying? If she gets hurt by this, it gives her a chance to learn. That's the only way. People can tell her that your boyfriend is a jerk who is being unfaithful and you should leave him, but would she really listen and care? It's her matter to worry about, and I know you still care about her but she put herself into this matter and it has nothing to do with you. My ex is with some jerk who flirted with her whilst we were together. If he was being unfaithful to her and I knew, I wouldn't do anything. Why? Because my ex made the conscious decision to go with him, full knowing how I felt about him. My opinion about that guy never mattered to her. In the end, she is still with him and it has nothing to do with how things end up. By the way, 3 weeks + No contact is very great work. I commend you on that and keep it up!
Author jb89 Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 I understand what both of you are saying fully, thank you! I wouldn't be the one to say something to her, it's my friend who discovered what was going on, who sent something to her. I guess whether she decides to read it or not, is up to her. Seems to me like she already ignored it. It was specifically pointed out that I had nothing to do with it, as I didn't. I will continue to remain NC though. It just kind of sucks to see someone be unfaithful like that, and see that she's going to be taken advantage of, especially when it's someone whom I at one point would do anything for.
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