meribel Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I divorced my exH 3 years ago. One of the reasons - he was emotionally abusive towards me. He was also physically abusive on a few occasions (3 or 4 times in 16 years), and he was drunk on all those times.... We have two children who are both boys. The oldest boy is nearly a teenager now and getting a little bit hormonal. Generally the kids have had a good relationship with their father, and not had any problems. However, yesterday when he came back, my oldest son said he had a bad back. When I asked him what happened the younger one got really upset and started telling his brother not to tell me cos I would get mad with their father. I managed to get them to calm down, and found out that what happened was, the youngest had gone to bed, but was not asleep. When it got a bit later, their father asked my eldesst boy to put his homework away and go to bed. It turned into an argument, and he ended up dragging my son up then picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. My son then punched his father in the face, and his father dropped him, hurting his back. I don't know how seriously to take this...was it just normal teenage boy behaviour? Was his father right to drag him up and then force him physically upstairs like this? I never do this to either of my children - I don't need to as they behave well when they are with me. I don't know how to approach this with their father - I don't want it to happen again...my son is obviously upset, and the youngest doesn't want me to say anything because he hates arguments between me and his father. Am I over reacting because of what happened to me in the past? He has pulled them around before when they don't do as they are asked - grabbed them by the upper arm quite forcefully, and also pushed them. It makes me really upset that they get treated like this when they only see him once a week, but I want them to have a relationship with him if possible
silverfish Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 (edited) Can you arrange a time to talk to your ex urgently before he sees your kids next. If he carries on like that it will cause a rift between him and your son as he gets older. Teenage boys tend to get bigger and more hormonal Edited February 27, 2010 by silverfish
bentnotbroken Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Your ex's behavior is not acceptable. :mad:Why would you get upset with a child who is doing homework? That makes absolutely no sense. Grabbing a child and dragging them to bed is ridiculous, especially a teen. That's bullying. Your son should not have punched his father, but who is the adult here? Your ex escalated a situation that didn't require that.
Clep Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 I would personally call cps an see my ex in court. I believe what you are describing is abuse and is not acceptable at all. Your children can see your ex in a safe way which is not the way things are now it sounds like. Is your ex going to take accountability for his behavior? It doesn't sound like it as this is not the first time he has been abusive. I would stop this in it's tracks asap.
Recommended Posts