random Posted January 7, 2004 Posted January 7, 2004 ok its my first post and all.im a 19 year old guy living in perth,australia. Just needed some advice i met a girl say 4 months ago and i instantly liked her which is very rare coz im extremely picky. Took her out and after the first time she tells me she likes me and she feels a connection. Everything proceeds nicely for a month or so and everything phsycial she initated. She tells me all these things concerning how she feels about me and i really believed her. She came out of a relationship not that long before, a fairly serious one, but she told me she hated him becoz he treated her really bad. Tells me shes way over him but one day he sms'd her and it wasn't the same after that. We weren't actually going out per se in that she wanted me to wait for her to sort out some feelings before making it official. So okay i tell her yeah i'll wait...been waiting for 2 months. But in that time we went to movies,dinner etc etc and she still initiated the physical contact. Last night she told me she doesn't want me to wait for her anymore because she doesn't know what she wants. Although it seems like i've written quite a bit, there's a lot more to this that i won't say. Just think of this as a simplified version. Just wanted ppl's opinions and suggestions as to whether i could have done something different?
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 8, 2004 Posted January 8, 2004 random there is nothing you could have done differently, it seems like its all about her if she was in a serious relationship recently she is definately not way over him looks like a classic rebound relationship where unfortunately you have been the victim
Marty_McFly Posted January 8, 2004 Posted January 8, 2004 Random, I really feel for you, even though you're playing the role of my nemesis in this situation. It's sooo hard feeling like you don't have answers. I think in this situation, you and I both probably wish we understood more about what's going on. You want to know what happened so you can develop a strategy to maybe get her back, and I want to know what he did to get her back since my ex is also dating someone else now. It's tough. I hope we're able to find the answers we're looking for.
Author random Posted January 8, 2004 Author Posted January 8, 2004 thanks for the replies. i spent the night feeling sorry for myself but i surrounded myself with friends today and amazingly i feel rather good. Just returned from a midnight coffee session with my best female friend and basically told her every single detail and we talked about it. It just seems so clear now.. Marty...i think that getting involved with ex's is best to be avoided. It basically comes down to how she feels. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Butterfly1 Posted January 10, 2004 Posted January 10, 2004 random, i just read your post...don't know if you are checking. i was in the exact same situation as you. I started dating this guy right after he got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship (that he initiated). We dated very seriously for four months and two weeks after I went back to finish graduate school, he broke up with me because he told me that he was confused...that he had been talking to his ex....later on he told me that he just didn't "feel it" for me. -- but I know when we were dating he had strong feelings (as he always said it) My breakup happenned mid Ocotober and 2 1/2 months later I am still depressed about it. My ex ended up "hanging out with his ex" but then realized again that they were not right for each other and wants to be on his own for awhile. I don't think there was anything I could do or anything you could do to make this situation different. I am now just taking time off from talking to him and hoping that when I move back peramanently in June, things will be different. I don't like it when people say the word "rebound relationships" as I think of those relationships as one more or a few date affairs. It was a relationship that had bad timing and I think the best thing you can do now is let go and keep in touch...maybe down the road things can work out differently. At least, thats what I keep saying to myself.
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