Golden-73 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years a week ago. We had a really good relationship. We did have a brief break during our relationship. We talked about marriage before. I was a little slow on her standards of buying a ring. I know she wanted it 3-4 months ago. So I went out and bought the ring because I was ready. She started crying, and was overwhelmed. She said she needs time to think. I was surprised but I told her OK. She replied I need a few days. I told her to think for those few days. It felt strange not talking to her for a few days but I wanted her to think clearly. I tried calling once a day for the last 3 days I left VM’s , and I have heard nothing from her. I told myself today if she wanted this it would not matter when or what time of the day it was, she would call, text, come over to my house. Anything to let me know she said YES! I am considering this her cowardly way of saying no. She might think it is better, and less hurtful, even though it hurts more. She has given me what I would call silent closure. Anyone disagree with this?
BB07 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 As hard as it is......I'd give her what she asked for, a few days. You are driving yourself nuts and you don't even know if you should yet or not, so try to relax a bit and if you don't get a response within a week, then you can worry.
Knittress Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Marriage is hard work, if both parties aren't jumping-up-and-down-excited about the idea from the beginning I don't see how you're going to make it through the inevitable rough spots ahead. Plus, the interactions between the two of you seem riddled with communication problems. From the way you described it, you just threw a ring at her in grand a romantic gesture, but have the two of you had a SERIOUS talk about where/how you want to live, career goals, children, religion, sexual compatibility, housework, finances etc etc? A common life-vision carries more weight than love, in the end. I think the two of you need to talk.
Lizzie60 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 This is indeed very strange... but I would tend to think that she is not ready.. or she has someone else and she needs time to figure out what she'll do... him or you... If she was totally into you and very much in love.. she wouldn't have hesitated and ask for a break... this doesn't make sense to me.. She,s not for you... My advice: let her go... and move on... She will eventually break your heart.. IMO.
nddb Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Bail. This is a bad sign. Real bad. Marriage is hard work, damn hard work. If she's not 110% sure, (and I assume you are), it's going to be a hard row. And if she's 110% sure, it shouldn't take a few days. I would walk. Seriously. My ego would be out the door, and my ass would follow it shortly thereafter.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I can't imagine a girl who wouldn't pounce on a ring immediately if she really wanted to marry the guy. It's worrisome that she's already having to "think" about it before there's really anything to "think" about. How much had you two talked about getting married before this ring came along?
Author Golden-73 Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 I have the ring! I told her a maybe, or I need time does not mean yes, and I need a yes to put the ring on your finger.
infjgrl Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 hmmm.... on one hand, i'd say that her taking her time answering you shows that she's taking this seriously. on the OTHER hand, you said she wanted this months ago, so she doesn't take me as that type of woman. i'd give her a couple more days before jumping to conclusions, but be cautious moving forward. i agree with the other poster, 110% sure is where you both should be before taking this step.
sunshinegirl Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Hard to tell... when my brother-in-law proposed to my sister, she was genuinely surprised and asked for a week to think about it. They had not talked in depth about it, but somehow he thought she had been dropping hints for months and was therefore ready. Turns out she hadn't been dropping hints! So I'm sure it was torture for him, but she needed the time. By the end of the week, she was excited about marrying him...and their 16 year anniversary is in a few months.
Barky Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 I have the ring! I told her a maybe, or I need time does not mean yes, and I need a yes to put the ring on your finger. Thank god for that. You're going to be selling it on ebay soon, from the looks of it.
Woggle Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Break up with her now. She does not love you and a break up right now is better than a divorce later.
SarahRose Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 How old are you two? If she says yes, sign yourselves up for a pre-marital course asap.
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