single-n-lonely Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 lol ok so this is kind of corny, but i always get a rise out of corny jokes. :-D post your jokes if you have any good ones! Joe took his blind date to the Barnsley Feast. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the dodgems. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his money. The couple walked around the Feast and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 A police officer overhears an old couple talking. The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern over yonder and you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' 'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.' 'How about taking a stroll back there and we can do it again for old time's sake,' the old man says. 'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!' The officer thinks, “I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.” So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in...... Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises, moaning and even screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on. The policeman, still watching, thinks they’re truly amazing and decides to ask them their secret. He approaches the couple and says, “'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Do you have some sort of secret?” Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, “NO, fifty years ago that wasn't an ELECTRIC fence."
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