LostInLimbo Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 (edited) How do you know when your truely over someone? I feel i have taken the right steps (Just signed up for councelling, and been NC), I was dumped 2 months ago for a 4th time, I dealt with this emptyness day in and day out,(valentines day, missing her first bday in 5 yrs cause I never wished her one) however it is going away where Im starting to feel myself again. There is still that tiny little bit left of me holding on, for whatever reason, I don't know, even though she always seems to come back around and we get back together it always leads me to welcoming her back with open arms, when all I have to do is just walk away and I can't seem to, no matter how she had left me, I always seem to take her back This time I have remained NC since I had a melt down and txt her 2 weeks after our split (nothing bad was said to her) she since has txt me once 3 weeks ago, but I never replied and I haven't heard from her since, so I guess back to my question, How do you know your really over someone? as I need to get that feeling, so I never get dumped a 5th time, assuming she follows her past history of breakups with me and random txt msgs me every so often.. Thanks for any feedback... LiL Edited February 26, 2010 by LostInLimbo
MellowScout Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 No Contact is not about getting some one back, it's about taking the time to heal yourself. And it sounds like this is a relationship that clearly needs to end, I mean, how many break-ups is it gonna take? Be strong, stay no contact, delete her number, address, whatever. It is going to take time to get over the relationship, but you will. I am 4 months post break-up and I just started to feel "like myself" about two weeks ago. I don't think there is any formula as to when you will feel better, just trust that you will. I think that there are people who come into our lives for a reason, and that we carry those reasons with us forever...but we don't have to hold on to the person to accept the lesson. Give yourself some time to grieve...focus and do all the things that YOU like to do (because now there is no one to stop you)...I guess when you are truly over someone, you'll just know. It won't hurt to think of them..."your song" will play and you will forget that it is "your song." Giving yourself a lot of space will let you distance yourself from those "triggers." Good luck, stay strong.
curiousnycgirl Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 How do you know when your truely over someone? To answer your question, I think the easiest way to know is when you are truly open to meeting someone new. The more subtle things are when you go for long periods of time without thinking about the ex. That will start as perhaps 5 minutes, then an hour, a day finally you'll realize weeks will go by without the ex popping in your head. We'll get there, I promise.
Author LostInLimbo Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 (edited) Thanks For the replies, they were great and really apprecited to hear it from someone outside of the circle. I do have to mention that I have only tried to use NC once long time back to get her back (the 3rd breakup she did to me), but was set straight as to why its used and have practiced that in my latest breakup with her. I am NC now as mentioned and still have the will power to remain as such, with no guilt, so I guess that would be part to say I am healing, as I always use to feel guilty when I didn't reply. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed getting her messages, but finally FINALLY realized it only sets me back to step one, when I did. I have actually erased all contact information for her, still get mail here now and then (can't be controled) and I am back to seeing someone, whom I left to go back to my ex (Nvr cheated on her, left the situation before going back, big regrets) and was happy she took me back, but did say I wanna take it very slow. Thanks Again to CG and Mellow LiL Edited February 27, 2010 by LostInLimbo
just1guy Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 To answer your question, I think the easiest way to know is when you are truly open to meeting someone new. The more subtle things are when you go for long periods of time without thinking about the ex. That will start as perhaps 5 minutes, then an hour, a day finally you'll realize weeks will go by without the ex popping in your head. We'll get there, I promise. This was my turning point. Part of me felt like I shouldn't, but it just felt natural that I went on. It's only been two months since the breakup, but this whole week I've felt almost like myself again. I can't recall what changed, but I think after all the numerous talks with friends and co-workers because I was getting depressed, one finally got to me. Trust me, the past two months I have been a complete disaster. I woke up the next morning, and felt a little bit as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And it's getting better. Yesterday, was the first day that I hardly thought of my ex, so I know I'm almost there.. I've been hanging out with someone who is constantly happy and positive and I am so fortunate to have met her. I don't know if anything will develop between us, but the fact that I'm actually out there, is a victory in its own. What they say is true, that time does heal and that you shouldn't focus on when, but let it happen naturally.
GrayClouds Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 How do you know when your truely over someone? It is when your not asking questions like this. It takes time but does get better.
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