minniezz Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Well, currently, i'm dating a girl who is 3 years older than me and i have some problems, well mostly from her not from me Shes really confusing about the relationships...The problems are : - She s scared cz parents often dont like their children to date a girl who is older ( thats bs, the other way works fine) - She sometimes feels confused because she's @ the age of 25 now and she thinks its hard to keep this up because im too young for her...I tell her that the real thing that matters is the feeling i have for her but she still feels confused. - Parents kinda spy on me, they kinda stalk me i think and i dont know how to talk this out with them...like i said, they dont like the girls older than me. So has anyone been in the same situation and made it work ? I need some advices pls
Golfilla Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Well, currently, i'm dating a girl who is 3 years older than me and i have some problems, well mostly from her not from me Shes really confusing about the relationships...The problems are : - She s scared cz parents often dont like their children to date a girl who is older ( thats bs, the other way works fine) - She sometimes feels confused because she's @ the age of 25 now and she thinks its hard to keep this up because im too young for her...I tell her that the real thing that matters is the feeling i have for her but she still feels confused. - Parents kinda spy on me, they kinda stalk me i think and i dont know how to talk this out with them...like i said, they dont like the girls older than me. So has anyone been in the same situation and made it work ? I need some advices pls At 22 you have no business being in a serious relationship with ANYONE - older or younger. You should be casually dating different women and learning about them and also yourself. As far as this one is concerned, you need to let her go NOW. It's nothing to do with her age, but more to do with the fact that she appears to be looking for reasons to end it. You also need to sort out the "spying" issue with your parents. I'll bet it has NOTHING to do with the fact that your girlfriend is older than you are.
Author minniezz Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Ooff >.> hmm, i see some points there, we are really into each other. And the fact is she really likes me, text/call/meet/hang out... So i guess she is not looking for any reasons to end it but she feels insecure or unsafe cz if my parents find out, she think we ganna be doomed.
Golfilla Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Ooff >.> hmm, i see some points there, we are really into each other. And the fact is she really likes me, text/call/meet/hang out... So i guess she is not looking for any reasons to end it but she feels insecure or unsafe cz if my parents find out, she think we ganna be doomed. Have you actually sat down with her and tried to talk about it? That will tell you whether she's trying to find a reason to end it or not. If you sit down with her and she keeps coming up with different reasons why it "can't work", you'll know she's looking for an out. And again, you're 22, why do you need to be in a serious relationship? How many women have you dated before you met her? How do you know she's "the one"? How do you know she's even above average?
Author minniezz Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Hmm, you got some pretty good points there. Can i ask you a question ? Have you actually been in the same situation like this ?
DustySaltus Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I was in relationships with women 3 and 4 years older than me. Age is a state of mind. At the end of the day it's all about good communication. find out what's really bugging her. I don't know why your parents would be upset unless it's related to your culture somehow, is it? Otherwise something else is going on her because she knew how old you were the day she met you...poor excuse.
Author minniezz Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 I was in relationships with women 3 and 4 years older than me. Age is a state of mind. At the end of the day it's all about good communication. find out what's really bugging her. I don't know why your parents would be upset unless it's related to your culture somehow, is it? Otherwise something else is going on her because she knew how old you were the day she met you...poor excuse. Yeah, its a part of the culture. Uhm since u actually exp'ed the situation. Could u tell me the cons & the pros pls
harmfulsweetz Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Why are you looking at this as a pro and con situation? It's not a game. Sorry. Agree with Golfilla, you're 22 (as am I), you need to explore new people, to really work out who is a good fit for you. There is only 3 years between you, but it certainly seems to be at the least something she can't get past. Sit her down, talk. Best way.
Author minniezz Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 Well, i dont mean it as the con & pro situations as in a game. I just wanna see the problems that could happen... Yeah and i talked it out with her and after that we both agree to continue the relationship.
Author minniezz Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 Thx Carol. Thats so true. A lil problem here is the culture and people. Can u suggest me any ideas on how to deal with them pls ?
Author minniezz Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 Ok...today she kinda gave me some bs like this : - Yesterday she got food poisoning, and she was sick. I went on a trip today so basically i couldn't see her. I texted her to ask if she was aight and to see where she was. And she texted back and told me she was at her friend's (and it s a dude). She said "he told her to come over to look after her (they were at home alone)" ... I was like "what are u doing over there ? a male and a female ALONE ? Common thats the last thing i wanna hear when im not with u.." And she replied " you made me feel ashamed".... I texted back and said " Ashamed ? What you doing over there ? A boy and a girl ? ... i dont care how close ya'all are but common..." And after that she totally ignored / didn't reply to the text at all. I even did text her again with the same msg and no msg back at all. So...i was kinda frustrated bcz lol...even close friends, they rarely do that right ? >.> What ya'all think ?
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