greenbear5 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 So I've been dating this girl for almost 22 months....we have been best friends since the beginning of high school, but now we are both at colleges across the country. This girl was my first real relationship, my first kiss, and she has been there for me through everything. Since the beginning of high school, our friends have thought there was something special about us. I realized I had feelings for her junior year and I spent the next 10 months trying to win her. She was afraid to be in a relationship, but I knew she was the girl of my dreams and we would make an amazing couple. I wrote her books (seriously) trying to get her to see things from my side: that we be great together. Finally, after being rejected hundreds of times, she said yes. Just once. That kicked off these past 22 months and they have been the most fantastic of our lives. We said we loved each other, wanted this to last forever, talked about our future. I know we were young and it seems naive, but we were so in love. College has been going great; even though we are across the country I have been able to visit her, and see her over breaks. We talk everyday and keep each other updated with our lives. We watch TV shows online together and skype a good amount. It was hard being apart from her, but I tried to be as supportive as possible, and things were finally starting to seem normal being far apart, but still in love. Winter Break was great too! Tons of fun, she spent some of it with my family on vacation. Then, suddenly, she called me at 2am 2 weeks ago (right before Valentines Day and 2 days before I was supposed to visit her for that weekend)....she said I shouldn't bother coming...she didnt want to spend the weekend with me.....she broke it off. I had no clue or warning that anything like that was going on in her head. This girl has been such an important part of my life for 5 years and now I'm very lost. Also, the way she did it was strange: No emotion, no tears, no crying. She was very cold and matter-of fact. Also, she broke it off so suddenly and said she had been thinking about it for a long time (it feels like all the great times we have had over the last few months were just a lie). It all seems very strange, and I'm unbelieveably devastated. I'm still so in love with her. Long story short: I am going to visit her in a week. She was originally very skeptical but I eventually said that after 5 years of being so close this deserves a face to face. I am supposedly going there to get closure/ start being friends....but this girl means the world to me, I'm so in love with her, I want to win her back. I have one week to think of what to do/ say....and I have 24 hours there to do/ say it. This just feels like a terrible nightmare and I just want to wake up. What should I do? What should I say when I visit her? Thanks
zebracolors Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I may not be the only one to suspect this and we would know that its the last thing you might want to hear. But there could be someone else involved, just saying. The way she was when she called you seems like it would be a red flag for me but I don't know. You say you can go visit her once more right? Well I would feel she owes it to you to be honest with you and tell you just what is up. If after all that time you've known her she can't be honest enough to say Im seeing someone else, then thats kind of on her, but she may be because she does not want to hurt you anymore then she already knows she has. Sorry to hear you're going through this and hope it all works out for the best for you.
Author greenbear5 Posted February 27, 2010 Author Posted February 27, 2010 thanks...ya I have been wondering if there might be somebody else "on the sidelines" and when I visit I plan on directly asking her...I feel like after 5 years of being her best friend I deserve the full truth. It's just I'm not quite ready to give up. Most people in my life are trying to help me move on, and I know they mean well, but this girl has been a part of who I am for so long. She was the first girl I talked to on the first day of high school and the first one I hugged right after we graduated. We've had ups and downs but we've been so in love through everything. This all is so so sudden, unexpected, and very painful...I trusted her more than anyone in the world. Like I mentioned, I am visiting her for a whole day/night to talk about where to go now that we aren't together. But I'm wondering how I might remind her how in love she was with me and how I've always been there for her through everything. I want to try to reignite what she felt only a few weeks ago and I'm just not sure how to approach this. Maybe bringing something from home or writing her a long letter or just showing her we belong together some other way? I know this sounds a bit pathetic, but my whole heart was in this girl; I wanna give a try at getting her back.
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