Author Gunny376 Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Yep, I call it "the old me is dead and gone" Say goodbye to your past life, mourn it for a while and move on to your new exciting life Again Yep, the second you do that you free your mind to all the new and great possibilities in life. Profound indeed!
skywriter Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 Gunny! What an awesome thread! Very inspiring. My personal mantra has been, "Sink or swim", and I'm dog peddaling as hard as I can go, baby!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 The following is from Leo Buscaglia "Loving Each Other, The Challenge of Human Relationships" Leo was a college professor who upon having lost one of his student to suicide after becoming despondent over a breakup with her then BF? Decided to investigate 'Love' and what love is and isn't. Not in a scientific anaylytical ~ but from a socialist and humanitarian way. He was also the first college professor to teach a college level course in the history of academia about love. In his classes he would hand out questionnaires about 'love'? The following are some of his students responses. I cannot list them all in one setting, but to me they are profound, and I thought that I would share. "Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now, and forever will take care of itself." "Grow up together ~ CONSTANTLY!" "Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationships. Lasting relationships seldom happen, they are created." "Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever/ Recognize their temporary quality but continue to act as if they are permanent." "Respect the other person's relationships apart from you. If they are important to the one you care about they should be important to you." "Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations." "Take your time." "Remove price tags from people. Everyone has worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value." "Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much if you're giving willingly." "Don't feel as if you're required to spend your every waking hour with those you love. Move aside from time to time and allow them a separate space, too." "Never force anyone to do anything for you 'in he name of love" Love is not to be bargained for." "Don't be afraid" "Don't over analyze your relationships." "Realize that you always have choices. It up to you. "Remember that a relationship is a pooling of resources. That means that with each relationship you are not only giving? You are becoming more." "Don't allow experience to harden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive." More to come Gunny
marlena Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Good stuff, Gunny. These especially struck a chord within me. "Never force anyone to do anything for you 'in he name of love" Love is not to be bargained for." I agree with the above. That's why it is wrong to ask people to change in the name of love. It always fails. People are who they are at the core and no amount of cajoling or demanding will change that. You either accept and embrace who they are or move on. I tell my daughter this all the time. If you need him to change, then, he's probably not right for you. "Don't allow experience to harden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive." This is a gem and something we should all strive for. Bitterness, hatred, resentment, anger all need to be put to rest at some point. Otherwise, they destroy your soul and your soul only.
Author Gunny376 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Posting a few more from the book. "See people as good and beautiful, even when they seem to be trying hard not to be so!" "If you take time to talk together each day? You'll never become strangers!" "Divorce, fighting, arguing will never solve your problems; better to try understanding, warmth and flexibility" "Value yourself! The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes!"
marlena Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 "Value yourself! The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes!" Loved this one!!!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Before you form a relationship ask yourself if there are things about the other that you cannot stand. If there are, ask yourself if you be able to live with those things forever. If the answer is "no" ~ then leave it alone!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate to! Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out and re-read it. It resolves problems quickly!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 God help the Man that won't marry until he finds the perfect woman! And God help the Man that does!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Don't make "others" problems "yours" It makes them twice as difficult to solve!" "Gunny Speak" Their problems are "thier" problems! Not your problems! Don't make thier problems your problems!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Don't make "others" problems "yours" It makes them twice as difficult to solve!" "Gunny Speak" Their problems are "thier" problems! Not your problems! Don't make thier problems your problems! It only took twenty years to figure that one out!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 "The only one who is wiser than anyone is everyone" Napoleon Bonaparte Of course you can! Its what you learned from your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, your uncles, your brothers, your sisters, your cousins, your teachers, your professors, your instructors, just about any and everyone you've ever came in contact with during the course of your life thus far to date. Who we are at this particular point in time is the collective knowledge and wisdom ( Or not! Just watch some of the stupid things do on TV) of all the people we've come in contact with and our experiences in Life Being wise is nine-tenths of being wise in time. As you were and have been in your reconciliation with the DW.
tnttim Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Being wise is nine-tenths of being wise in time. As you were and have been in your reconciliation with the DW. Timing is everything, why do you think I try to kick the newbies in the a*s right away. BTW IMO wisdom is obtained from actually going through something in life not living through someone's something. My grandpa passed on a bunch of knowledge on wisdom, but not until I lived it did I finally truly understand what he meant.
Author Gunny376 Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 I see what your point Tim and its a good and valid one. But when it comes to combat and marriage, OJT sucks! I'm sure that anyone who was shipping out to Iraq or Afghanistan would like to hear a few words from someone who's been there a time or two. Granted they the individuals about to be shipped out don't have the experienced, (except in pre-deployment "as-real-and-as-to-real life training) You can do that with something like getting ready to deploy, that is to say you can train and learn from a classroom setting, in the field training, and from the experiences of others. But you can't do that with marriage, now can you. And so all you've got to go on is from the wisdom, knowledge and experiences of others? Personally I try not to learn only my mistakes and experiences, but from those of others.
Author Gunny376 Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 "Yea buts aside,............................... Don't be afraid of disagreements and arguments, the only people who don't argue are people that dont care or are dead! In fact don't have short arguments. Make sure they are throughly over and done with!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 After and argument is over? Forget it! Learn to bend. Its better than breaking! Don't take yourself so seriously but never fail to take the other person seriously!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 God has planted a many good things at your feet! Count your blessings not your troubles! But for the Grace of God? There go I!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Before you form a relationship ask yourslf if there are things about the other that you can't stand. If there are, aske your if you would be to live with these things forver. If the answer is "no" the leave it alone! Write down allthe reasons why you love each person you relate with. Then when the going gets tough? Take the list out and re-read them. It resolves most problems quickly! Don't make the other's problems yours! It only ake solving them twice as difficult! Don't be afraid of disappointments and arguments, the only people who don't argue are people that don't care or are dead. In fact don't have short arguments. Make damn sure the are throughly over and done with! After an argument is over, FORGET IT!
Author Gunny376 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 You can't teach wisdom Your "Yea but,......... meaning The reason we can't fly to the moon? "Yea! But,......................................... The reason it won't work? "Yea but,......................................... Be part of the answers not part of the answer not part of the question! Be a part of the solution of the promblem, not the problem!
Butterflair Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Don't make "others" problems "yours" It makes them twice as difficult to solve!" "Gunny Speak" Their problems are "thier" problems! Not your problems! Don't make thier problems your problems! Another analogy for this one is "not my train". My sister picked that one up in therapy. Stick to your own train, don't jump on someone else's train.
Author Gunny376 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Learn to bend. Its better than breaking. Don't take yourself so seriously, but never fail to take the other person seriously. Don't become involved in pettiness, ego and childish hurts. The will only serve to degrade your relationships and prevent closeness Watch for little irriations, they will grow into destructive monstors. Verbalize them at once. (That is to say don't fail to communicate about any and everything) Let go of pride. Its usually false, creates barriers and prevents closeness. Learn to listen. You don't learn anything from hearing yourself talk. There's a reason you have one mouth and two ears. Its because your suppose to listen twice as much as you talk.
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