aroll32 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 A girl I really liked kind of lead me on about a month ago. After, I was pretty upset. It changed within a matter of time to where I stopped thinking about her so much and just continued doing what I would normally do. My mindset was pretty positive after a while. To where I would think of what happened as a 3rd party observer. But, just recently I keep changing my mindset back to the way it was before. The feelings return a little and I feel torn up for a bit. Then I will convince myself again that what I am feeling is stupid and that she probably doesn't think about me ever and doesn't miss me so what's the point. But I keep going between the two mindsets and can't stop. Some days she doesn't even cross my mind. But there are a couple where I think about her and I really miss her. Why can I not just accept that I miss her and stay in the positive aspect of things? I haven't talked to her in a while and I'm glad about that. But I eventually want her to contact me. But then again, will I just end up going back to those feeling? I really don't want to, but sometimes it's as if I have no control. It really sucks because I don't have anyone else to focus my time on. I want a quality girl to talk to, but they rarely come around. So I guess it will just be like this until I do find someone else?
soulm8 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 A girl I really liked kind of lead me on about a month ago. After, I was pretty upset. How did she lead you on? What happened? How did you react? Most girls insist that they will wait to see if the guy initiates contact. I'm one of them. Is it possible there was some kind of misunderstanding or issue with insecurity for either of you? I just went through a similar experience and my boyfriend would "break the ice" with casual, flirty emails just to see if I'd reply (and how). What's the harm in reaching out (safely) if you really like her? She could very well be waiting (and hoping) for you to do so.
Author aroll32 Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Well, we were talking every day for more than a month and a half, we went on a couple dates, she came over to my place a couple times, and we would go to the same bars on weekends. I would rarely see her out at bars that I go to, but she started going to the ones I was at when we were talking. I called her a couple days after she told me what I didn't want to hear. So on to where she lead me on. At one point she would be texting me all the time and saying she wants to hang out, then she started slowly responding differently (not texting back if I asked to hang out, wouldn't answer her phone and wouldn't call back). What she told me when I confronted her about it was that she wanted to talk and be friends over the semester, hang out when she comes to my campus and I go to hers (we go to schools about an hour away), and see what happens over next summer. That was the misunderstanding, I didn't think that she was going to want to just be friends. We weren't on the same page for about a week. I didn't act insecure or needy, I would just text or call as I normally would. Now, when I called her a couple days after she told me what she wanted, she didn't answer. I left a voicemail saying that I did overreact (I made a big deal about her telling me what she did because I did not think she was going to say what she did), I was sorry for it, etc. She called me 2 days after. But I didn't know what I was going to say so I didn't answer. After I got a good idea, she didn't answer. Three hours later, she hadn't called back. So I just decided to leave her a voicemail saying I didn't want to talk to her because she was messing with my head and I needed to focus on other things. She called me back a little after I left the voicemail. At first it was a little awkward, because she said she wasn't playing games or trying to do something malicious (but I think she was subconsciously). I knew she wasn't trying to hurt me, but it doesn't matter because she did. So after a couple minutes of getting on the same page, she said she wanted to still talk. I said I wanted to as well. But, I called her one weekend I was in town. She didn't answer, never called back, haven't heard from her since. So she lied about what she wanted, how am I supposed to react to that? I mean I haven't initiated contact with her, and I don't want to because there's always that chance she doesn't respond and I look stupid. And plus, I have somewhat forgotten about her. Of course there are times when I miss her, because I really did like her. But what can I do? It's not like I can get her back. And I don't know if I would want to get her back. The problem for me is the fact that she DID lie, and she still hasn't called, texted, or initiated any form of contact to say sorry or anything. I personally think that not calling me back or anything is just rude. Her birthday is coming up and I feel obligated to text her or something, but I don't really know if I should or not. Mostly because I don't want her to come back, then go away again
soulm8 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 she wanted to talk and be friends over the semester, hang out when she comes to my campus and I go to hers and see what happens over next summer. I personally think that not calling me back or anything is just rude. Her birthday is coming up and I feel obligated to text her or something, but I don't really know if I should or not. Mostly because I don't want her to come back, then go away again Well, her being rude by not replying is a clear indication that she's not romantically interested in you. I'm sorry, it sucks but better to find out sooner than later. When a girl's interested she replies and reciprocrates. You are not obligated to even remember her birthday... and I suggest you don't do anything for it - not even text her. If you hear from her, and you want to reply, keep it light and casual... Try to forget about her.
TouchedByViolet Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 She strung you along, and she is not interested. It is painful when you have feelings for someone and they don't reciprocate. The best you can do is keep doing what you have been doing which is keeping distance and no contact. Keep looking for someone else, and when you find a new girl this one will be the last person on your mind.
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