Getting_stronger Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Hi Thanks to everyone who has responded to various posts of mine. I had an affair (Im married - yes I know it was a pathetic move on my part). This 'great affair' that I thought was so wonderful ended on Tuesday- via text! I am shocked and hurt that he would behave that way after everything we had shared. Obviously I was in 'affair fog' and he showed his true colours. I had been stressed and anxious the last few months so obviously a lot of the 'good times' were gone or in my head- or both. Cut the story short. I have been NC last few days. Mostly because I feel angry, ashamed and hurt. Now my normal good snd soft nature is kicking in and I feel weaker. Is he angry with me? Is he blaming me? I need to make sure he knows it wasnt my fault' etc. Anyway I havent submitted to contact- just annoyed that Im weakening after 3 days! I am going to handle gorever! I have less feekings for him- but I this strong sense of wanting him to see that he was at fault- immature huh! On the upside- my marriage is feeling stronger. I have my head and heart in the right place - just need to not be weak and break NC.
Author Getting_stronger Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Hi Thanks to everyone who has responded to various posts of mine. I had an affair (Im married - yes I know it was a pathetic move on my part). This 'great affair' that I thought was so wonderful ended on Tuesday- via text! I am shocked and hurt that he would behave that way after everything we had shared. Obviously I was in 'affair fog' and he showed his true colours. I had been stressed and anxious the last few months so obviously a lot of the 'good times' were gone or in my head- or both. Cut the story short. I have been NC last few days. Mostly because I feel angry, ashamed and hurt. Now my normal good snd soft nature is kicking in and I feel weaker. Is he angry with me? Is he blaming me? I need to make sure he knows it wasnt my fault' etc. Anyway I havent submitted to contact- just annoyed that Im weakening after 3 days! I am going to handle gorever! I have less feekings for him- but I this strong sense of wanting him to see that he was at fault- immature huh! On the upside- my marriage is feeling stronger. I have my head and heart in the right place - just need to not be weak and break NC. Sorry- meant 'how am I going to handle forever with NC- if I am weakening 3 days in.
Author Getting_stronger Posted February 28, 2010 Author Posted February 28, 2010 Oh Im struggling with this. I am not breaking NC and refuse to. I am definately better off without him, and the whole 'staying friends thing' would be fraught with temptation for me. So this is the best solution. So why am I wondering why he hasnt contacted me, why am I worried that he thinks this was all my idea. More importantly why do I f#$%ing care if he thinks this break was my idea. It sort of was! I was miserable. Arrrrrgh help pls
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