dreamer122 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I reconected with the love i lost 32 yeaes ago, when we made contact it was like we were never apart/ we talked alot over the phone and the we saw each other it was great for both of us .she has been divorced 14 yrs after being in an abusive mariage. i just seperated from my wife last year after 26 yrs of her lieing. the problem is people started to tell her not to trust me that we were wrong together she started to listen and started to flip flop on our relatioship one day she loved me the next day she didnt it excalated so we argued but we would make up quick, we were very compatiable the last straw was during the holliday a friend of hers visited and basically our relationship was destroyed, i email her i been told she reads them all her son got very close to me and her mother tells me she loves me but she wont answer my calls, i want to see her face to face.when i get back to the states i am in the military and am in a combat zone should i approach her she is the love of my life. i want to finalize my divorce and go with my love i know we both have baggage but i have to try . the last time we spoke she said i hurt her. i dont know what i did to hurt her we had argued. because i was going overseas again and blamed me for her drinking again she has an alchol problem before, she is on my mind constantly. I never loved anyone like i do her please I ned your advice
julkat Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Hi there, I think you and her have reconnected and experienced the very real dopamine rush of new love. Then you experienced the reality check that comes next, that of learning about each other, how to be together, etc. The honeymoon ends. From your post I get a couple of things...she will listen to other people's opinion of you rather than forming her own; she may still have a drinking problem; and you are in communication with her son about her. I see the first one as an issue. I would expect that, as a man in military combat, you have to make judgments about situations. You will never respect a woman who can't do the same. It doesn't work when there are too many people in a relationship. Second - if she has a drinking problem that is either unchecked or unacknowledged, you two are euchred. Unless you want to participate in a dysfunctional and unhealthy substance abuse riddled relationship, Run! Third - it is so inappropriate to talk with her son about her relationship with you. This is between the two of you. You need to focus on that, she needs to focus on that, because at the end of the day it will be you two sitting at the kitchen table looking at each other, and all those well-wishers or marriage-busting noseybodies will be nowhere to be seen. What you two had years ago was just that, years ago. You can't go back. Do you like what you see if you look forward? If not, get home safe and look for an emotionally-healthy woman who is ready for a committed relationship. I wish you well.
pureinheart Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I reconected with the love i lost 32 yeaes ago, when we made contact it was like we were never apart/ we talked alot over the phone and the we saw each other it was great for both of us .she has been divorced 14 yrs after being in an abusive mariage. i just seperated from my wife last year after 26 yrs of her lieing. the problem is people started to tell her not to trust me that we were wrong together she started to listen and started to flip flop on our relatioship one day she loved me the next day she didnt it excalated so we argued but we would make up quick, we were very compatiable the last straw was during the holliday a friend of hers visited and basically our relationship was destroyed, i email her i been told she reads them all her son got very close to me and her mother tells me she loves me but she wont answer my calls, i want to see her face to face.when i get back to the states i am in the military and am in a combat zone should i approach her she is the love of my life. i want to finalize my divorce and go with my love i know we both have baggage but i have to try . the last time we spoke she said i hurt her. i dont know what i did to hurt her we had argued. because i was going overseas again and blamed me for her drinking again she has an alchol problem before, she is on my mind constantly. I never loved anyone like i do her please I ned your advice I am so sorry to have to welcome you to LS on such horrible circumstances and BTW to all of the military men out there, no matter what country your fighting for...thank you... Number one, a R should not be this hard...and for it to be "destroyed" by a visiting friend speaks volumns to me...dude...you deserve the best and you are not getting it... You are risking your life for your country and HERS and she has the audacity to blame her drinking on you...let a "friend" destroy your R....and then be pissed because you are going overseas, and I will say this AGAIN...to defend your country and HERS...sorry hun, but she needs to be "B" slapped...sorry, but that is how I feel...I watch the History Channel and have lost a lot of family and friends for the defense of the nation I live in...and to me to have that little respect is incomprehensible. She is selfish. ((((((((huggggssss)))))) Sorry to be so blunt D....although you deserve better....
Author dreamer122 Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 I never discuss my relationship with her son, she calls and texts my son to find out about me to the point that my son ignores her calls and texts. oh i sent her emerald earrings for valentines day she returned it plus my SF coin to hold as a good luck charm now her mother writes to me to tell me that her daughter wants them back . also she had been fired from he job in july so i gave her 2000 thousand dollars to help her pay her taxes for her house she got angre that i did not give her money every month. I dont care about the money i like to help but even though i love her she is not my wife or even engaged so why do i have to give her money? if we were commited to each other i would send her my partof my salery i dont have any place to spend it where i am at, but acording to her i just a companion
BB07 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 My gosh dreamer.......this woman sounds selfish, spoiled, and sounds like she has serious issues with the booze and probably a hundred other things that you don't know about yet. Why are you wasting your time and money and effort on a relationship that you know is only going to cause you more heartache? You know that right? This woman is not who she was all those years ago and you need to move on and out. You are holding on to something you used to have, it's not a reality now. BTW.......thank you for serving our country. Hugs..........
IfWishesWereHorses Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Good grief! This girl is a user and your exwife was a liar. Do you know why you are drawn to women with problems? I think you need to SAVE your money for your use later when you find a woman to love you and take care of you. I understand that it would feel great to have someone to look forward to coming home to . Maybe you could switch the focus to starting a new chapter in life for you. You can't fix someone else, but you can surely waste a ton of emotional energy and time trying. Don't chase trouble.
pureinheart Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Good grief! This girl is a user and your exwife was a liar. Do you know why you are drawn to women with problems? I think you need to SAVE your money for your use later when you find a woman to love you and take care of you. I understand that it would feel great to have someone to look forward to coming home to . Maybe you could switch the focus to starting a new chapter in life for you. You can't fix someone else, but you can surely waste a ton of emotional energy and time trying. Don't chase trouble. Amen...that was like prayer to me, music to my ears...whatever.... Dude, you serve our country, you deserve much more respect than that...the Vets from Nam had to fight for the respect that we take for granted now...don't loose what they fought so hard for and what you are fighting for now....GBU and keep you. It's ok not to have a romantic R....you will live, and much better I might add.... Dude, after being through bootcamp, getting out of this R should be a piece of cake!
Author dreamer122 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 since i last posted , I wounded in action and am being sent home as soon as i am stable . She found out i was hurt and wanrs to try to and pick up where we left off . She said that she was scared of how fast our relationship was going and where it was heading for because she has been alone for 14 yrs . but she want me to retire she says that i have been in the military too long and have fought to much< i am 54 yrs 0ld i a few months and i have been in the army for 39 yrs sinc ei was 15 yrs old i had my dad sign me up . it has been a long run and am very tired i have been wounded with this time a total of 9 times,I dont know what to do .
califnan Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Dreamer: You took the words out of my mouth with your last post... And the other posters took my words with All of their posts.. I was going to tell you that your first priority while defending our country - is to stay safe! Now you are wounded and you are coming home. Listen to what the other posters have said to you .. Read their posts again.. They are looking out for you and warning you .. Take Care ..
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