Gerhard Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Do you take your vacations together or do you take separate vacations? With my first wife, half my vacations were on my own and half we took together, as she wasn't overly into travel and only liked lounging at tropical resorts. I'm now remarried for about a year and given my wife's preferences, I'm beginning to think we should take separate vacations. What do the others in here do?
quankanne Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 definitely separate vacations. I spent too many times bored out of my mind while he got drunk; he doesn't care for long visits. This way we do what WE want to do without worrying if the other person is enjoying him/herself. we *do* go places together from time to time, but I prefer to spend my vacation time the way *I* want to spend it, not have to give in on every little consideration
linwood Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 One of the first rules I ever made in my marriage was "No separate vacas". I lived on a resort island during my single life and I cannot even begin to count how many married women used their separate vaca from their husband to have fling. God forbid she take the vaca with a girlfriend! I`m willing to bet every Kansas housewife has the same "Beachboy in the sand" fantasy.
threebyfate Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 We haven't yet taken a vacation together but in the future, either is fine, reliant on future work schedules. Attached at the hip marriages, isn't our thing.
confusedinkansas Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I wouldn't dream of taking a vacation without my husband. Good thing we both enjoy the same things in our old age.
quankanne Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 not sure why couples feel they *must* spend vacation time together – but, I realize what works for one set might not work for another couple. that said, the ONLY reason it works so well in our marriage is that there's a huge amount of trust that the other person isn't going to do something to jeopardize the relationship. Fantasies about hot beach boys? Of course! I'm not about to act on them though, because then it goes from fantasy to liability. As I've told DH, it'd be easy to lie and do whatever I want, but I'm not that person. And it's a badge of honor knowing he trusts me. I wouldn't give that up for anything.
threebyfate Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 not sure why couples feel they *must* spend vacation time together – but, I realize what works for one set might not work for another couple.That's why I stated "it's not our thing". that said, the ONLY reason it works so well in our marriage is that there's a huge amount of trust that the other person isn't going to do something to jeopardize the relationship.Yup, trust is key. If you don't trust your SO, why are you with them?
Lauriebell82 Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Fiance and I have done both actually. Either is fine for us, but we do have BLAST when we are on vacation together. We got engaged on vacation and I can't wait for our honeymoon in 7 months!!!!
lonelyandfrustrated Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Do you take your vacations together or do you take separate vacations? With my first wife, half my vacations were on my own and half we took together, as she wasn't overly into travel and only liked lounging at tropical resorts. I'm now remarried for about a year and given my wife's preferences, I'm beginning to think we should take separate vacations. What do the others in here do? I would think long and hard about how much your independent lives contributed to the failure of your first marriage, and whether you're willing to risk that with this one, as well. I couldn't imagine getting old and gray and sharing photo albums with the grandkids, of all the wonderful places I'd traveled to, and have to answer the question, "Where was Grandpa?" It'd be like, oh, his life memories are in that album over there. They're separate. We didn't share a LIFE together. I don't see the point of being married if you're going to create a life where your fondest memories exclude your spouse.
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