single-n-lonely Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 But don't make me cry! Some women get cheated on by every single boyfriend they have. They think they meet the right person, but he turns out to be a cheater, over and over again. i'm starting to catch on that it must have something to do with me. what am i doing wrong? how do i 'spot' a cheater early on? when i first meet guys, they always seem so sweet. i must be a real sucker or something. men, any adivce?
mem11363 Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 how old are you? how old are the guys you date? do you ask them how long their most recent relationship was and why it ended? do you ask them if they ever cheated on a gf while you carefully look them in the eye do you casually ask if they want to date other people while they see you how soon do you start having sex with them But don't make me cry! Some women get cheated on by every single boyfriend they have. They think they meet the right person, but he turns out to be a cheater, over and over again. i'm starting to catch on that it must have something to do with me. what am i doing wrong? how do i 'spot' a cheater early on? when i first meet guys, they always seem so sweet. i must be a real sucker or something. men, any adivce?
Woggle Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Something is probably subconciously attracting you to these men. Take some time for yourself and try to get to the bottom of it.
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Are you a secure person? Do you stand up for yourself and don't let people take advantage or push you around? Seems guys who cheat (and women cheaters too) zone in on certain qualities that the other person has. How was your childhood? Relationship with your father? Did either of your parents have affairs?
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Take time in getting to know the guy you like. Pay attention to little red flags, or things that 'don't quite fit/make sense'.. Listen to your gut! If something 'feel's off or wrong, chances are it is. If you know of others who 'know' the guy you like, quietly find out what type of guy he is through them.
Author single-n-lonely Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 thanks everyone for your responses! mem11363, i am 27 and yes i ask about their past relationships. my last boyfriend had cheated on 1 girl before, or at least thats all he would admit to. he said he was young and stupid and would never do it again. he was very committed to me and never showed a sign that he wanted to fool around with other girls. i found out from a mutual friend. :-( we knew each other for a month before we had sex. .. woggle, yes i think u are right. but im not sure what! whichwayisup, i am somewhere in the middle i think. i can be an assertive girl, especially when i drink, and i really dont get jealous unless i have reason to (like someone cheats on me!). but of course there are things i dont like about myself that i opend up to him about since hes my boyfriend. it might have made him less attracted to me. that hurts because that was me being real. should i keep my insecurities to myself? thats really good advice whichwayisup, about asking other people about him. most of the guys i date have their own friends and i have my own. we dont have a lot of mutual friends, so i dont know alot about their personal life my father left my family when i was 8. my mom has been remarried for a few years and no cheating as far as i know
troggleputty Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. Don't give your heart away so easily.
boogieboy Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 If you keep getting cheated on, There are signs that a guy gives you that you keep ignoring. If youre a doormat for these guys, they lose interest. Once they lose interest, they give you signs of that, while trying to cover it up, you must be ignoring that too. If you are bad in bed, and you go for good looking guys, they'll cheat on you. And stop flirting with guys when youre drinking.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 The type of men you are dating are using you. They are multi-daters, and are getting what they get out of that. They aren't focusing on YOU, they are focusing on themselves. You need to begin paying attention and knowing when a man is genuinely interested in you. When a man is genuinely interested in you, you will notice the shift. You will notice how the relationship between you two matters. He wants you in his life, He calls you, he wants to see you, talk to you about things. You know what's going on with him. It's a relationship between the two of you, and you know it. So there is something missing in the way you are dating men. You think that just because you have a date, you have a man. What you have to notice though is how much between dates, you have that same man. The ones that want to share their lives, get you involved and plan things with you are invested. The ones that don't call, disappear and you have no idea what they are up to, are not invested. You MUST begin noticing how invested in the relationship these men are with you, NOT just whether you get a date here and there with them.
Lizzie60 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 how old are you? how old are the guys you date? do you ask them how long their most recent relationship was and why it ended? do you ask them if they ever cheated on a gf while you carefully look them in the eye do you casually ask if they want to date other people while they see you how soon do you start having sex with them mem... I love you but I have to disagree with some of your points..(bold) First.. she says she only gets the wrong guys... even if she asks them those questions.. a player will lie... period.. They will tell her what they know she wants to hear...
Lizzie60 Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 But don't make me cry! Some women get cheated on by every single boyfriend they have. They think they meet the right person, but he turns out to be a cheater, over and over again. i'm starting to catch on that it must have something to do with me. what am i doing wrong? how do i 'spot' a cheater early on? when i first meet guys, they always seem so sweet. i must be a real sucker or something. men, any adivce? Brutal honesty... that's MY department.. First it's not some women who gets cheated on.. .it's MOST women.. so you're not alone.. There is probably nothing wrong with you but check the following departments: you might... lack self-confidence lack independance (clingy) insecurity too serious (talk) too soon. all these might scare a guy.. there is no way you can 'spot' a cheater.. it's not written on their forehead.. These days.. it's a lot easier to 'date' to meet people.. a lot of those guys are on the Internet.. constantly looking for a better 'catch'.. it's a non-stop thing.. it's even getting ridiculous to a certain degree.. I guess it's the new millenium...
Author single-n-lonely Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Lizzie60, thank you so much!!!!! You are so kind and what you said really helped me. I guess you're right, a lot of women get cheated on. I am not insecure, but i probably do get clingy when i get close to someone. Ms.Joolie, you're right about my bad radar for that kind of thing. I probably just need to spend some alone time and work on myself for a while. thank you everyone for your help!
Barky Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 how do i 'spot' a cheater early on? ummm.. he has a penis?
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