health Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Sometimes I feel people who do cocaine have more fun and interesting lives. I know the long term effects, but sometimes I just want to get out of this pain I'm in. I quit smoking. I can't handel weed and I feel bad for it. I feel like people can enjoy these things but I can't - that my life is boring and lame. I keep reading about girls wilding out in their early twenties this and worry if my ex is getting into this - and I missed out. I just feel so sick and empty and lonely. It's been over 10 months no contact I think. I have not had any luck with meeting a new girlfriend. I try, I go to clubs, bookstores. I work, I save money. I look attractive. I've met many girls last year. Right now I'm just reading, exercising and trying to stay positive. Yesterday I broke down and felt like crying for 2 hours straight while walking. This usually happens after I go on love shack. My sister tells me not to. I stop. Then I feel the stories here comfort me...then I spiral down. I just want to be complete and whole - as a single - and find someone great.
carhill Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 IMO, that's the draw of self-medication. Your body craves something it is missing and you think that drugs like coke will provide it. For many it does, for awhile, then the dark side of such drugs, with no discernible treatment regime, gets to one. Have you considered being treated by a professional who can rx psych meds and manage your care? Accept that your ex will do whatever she does. Age has nothing to do with it. 'Wilding out' happens for women my age (twice yours). It doesn't matter. She is background now.
Author health Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 IMO, that's the draw of self-medication. Your body craves something it is missing and you think that drugs like coke will provide it. For many it does, for awhile, then the dark side of such drugs, with no discernible treatment regime, gets to one. Have you considered being treated by a professional who can rx psych meds and manage your care? Accept that your ex will do whatever she does. Age has nothing to do with it. 'Wilding out' happens for women my age (twice yours). It doesn't matter. She is background now. I know, it's gotta be that darn self medication! I agree - it goes bad long term. I am not that bad. I have been to therapy before for major panic attacks and have learned to control them with no meds! I would never take psych meds. Cocaine and marijuana are actually safer than them! That's why if worse came to worse I would smoke weed - but again - exercise is key. I was perscribed once, read the back and it said heart attacks and strokes and death are a side effect. + they mess with your sexual drive - as does alchohol and cocaine...SO that's why I'm deciding to just sleep well, and exercise and dance. What you said about acceptance is right on, I will. Me reading into all these people's problems here and taking them on my own is co dependent..That book Co dependent no more is awesome! We gotta take care of ourselves first, before others! I do get tempted to self medicate but health is the best.
The Paper Knight Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 It's been over 10 months no contact I think. ... Yesterday I broke down and felt like crying for 2 hours straight while walking. You sound depressed, I would suggest you go and see a psychologist. They can help with negative feelings thru CBT or put you onto a physiatrist who can prescribe you mood stabilizers. Don't see this as a failure, some of us are just sensitive to these situations and need a little pick me up. LS is good therapy aswell Good-luck
carhill Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Sorry, I forgot you don't believe in psych meds; I think you told me that once before. Have you considered homeopathic remedies? Yeah, LS can be dangerous for an empath or co-dependent. I use it as therapy to help disconnect emotion from reasoning, with varying levels of success. It sounds like your regime is a healthy one. I need to consider that. BTW, I've found Seroquel (one of those bad psych meds) to take the edge off really tough days with no adverse side effects other than some somnolence. Makes for a great sleep aid when my mind won't stop running at night with all the divorce stuff. Also, I find having an animal to be a calming influence and distraction. I've got a siamese cat hugging my arm right now as I type. Hey, watch the claws!
DenverBachelor Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Also, I find having an animal to be a calming influence and distraction. I've got a siamese cat hugging my arm right now as I type. Hey, watch the claws! Yeah, a puppy is a really calming influence for me. Especially when you first get him or her and that puppy is running around all over the house ****ting on anything and everything. Then one morning you wake up and the dog has chewed on every shoe you own and when you finally corner the puppy, it gets this wide-eyed look (not unlike many women who are caught red-handed) with these big puppy dog eyes mentally suggesting to you, "Please love me. I didn't know. I was a dumb dog but I'm learning." (not unlike most dumpers). To the original poster: I suggest you and I book airfare to Vegas for a weekend. After drinking, partying and gambling until 4 am, we'll eventually stumble out only to wake up in a ditch next to the MGM. Then we can continue where we left off until we wake up three miles outside of Vegas in the desert. After walking in 120 degree heat for an hour, we'll eventually get back to the hotel, catch a flight back home and write about our experiences about, "redemption and absolution in the Vegas desert." We'll get two great book deals and end up on Oprah. We'll proceed to have a groupie backstage and then end up on Letterman talking about the entire ordeal. Then you won't have two thoughts about her. (if the above didn't make you smile, please seek out a professional psychologist or a cheap drug dealer)
Author health Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 You sound depressed, I would suggest you go and see a psychologist. They can help with negative feelings thru CBT or put you onto a physiatrist who can prescribe you mood stabilizers. Don't see this as a failure, some of us are just sensitive to these situations and need a little pick me up. LS is good therapy aswell Good-luck I can see why you say I may be down. Know that I felt that way after a hard day at work, and hungry. First time in months. Know that yes Im 10 months nc, but the relationship was for 5 years plus. Everyone heals in different time. I got scared when you said that. These emotions are on me. The goal is not to think of her at all, grow, be happy and enjoy life. I will find a good girl. I have faith in it. Till then, I'll journal my feelings, exercise, eat and sleep well, socialize, meet new friends and be positive.
The Paper Knight Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Everyone heals in different time. agreed, it takes a different time depending on the level you reach and love has no limits. I got scared when you said that. don't be scared, just keep your options open and if you check out some depression sites and find you suffer from symptoms then there is no shame in seeking help. Just don't let it eat at you. I have faith in it. Till then, I'll journal my feelings, exercise, eat and sleep well, socialize, meet new friends and be positive. These are all very good positive steps, just stay away from recreational drugs as they aren't good for you and can cause depression or make it worse.
Author health Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 agreed, it takes a different time depending on the level you reach and love has no limits. don't be scared, just keep your options open and if you check out some depression sites and find you suffer from symptoms then there is no shame in seeking help. Just don't let it eat at you. These are all very good positive steps, just stay away from recreational drugs as they aren't good for you and can cause depression or make it worse. Thanks for your reply Paper Knight. Ya, love can be challenging. I will keep my options open. I agree to stay off the recreational drugs and that they make things worse. They say after a break up, to really stay away from them. To take care of yourself in every way. I especially don't like Alcohol. Its classified as a downer - if I drink hard, I feel it for 2 days after. I have faith I'll get through this. Thanks again, I'll reply to the others later tonight.
Woggle Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I know it seems fun now but talk to people who have been addicted for years and see how fun it is. Do not go down this road.
sedgwick Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I would never take psych meds. Cocaine and marijuana are actually safer than them! As someone whose psych meds keep me out of the hospital and able to live a productive life, I take serious issue with this statement! PLEASE know what you're talking about before you post.
sedgwick Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 People these days take them when they're feeling blue, and not clinically depressed and that's a problem. A pill won't fix things, and in the US especially there's this belief that they will. This is where a competent psychiatrist comes in!
sedgwick Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 In the US, you can't get psych meds without a prescription, so visiting a psychiatrist and being diagnosed is part of the deal! Not all of them are good, and certainly some of them are med-happy, but hopefully they'll at least be trained enough to recognize clinical depression rather than "the blues!"
Ms. Joolie Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Health, I'm right there with you, wishing I could reach for those magic pills and get better. We all go through this life together, and want that kind of quick, cheap and easy lift when it gets hard. Personally, I'm at the dregs, trying to clean up my mess. Getting over an eating disorder is not easy by any means, and I'm exhausted. Frequently they tell me to take antidepressants to help me through, and many times I want to say '**** it all' and re-enter into a life of self-destruction.... but I have to keep going. Life is ahead of me, and that makes me smile. I love life, and I want to do everything I can to live it well. I want to earn my life, every day. I want to earn my health and well-being and find happiness in everything I do. And I want to give. I want to be well enough, so I can give, so that I can love. It is this thought that is my hope, strength and comfort. We can do it, Health. It's hard, but dammit, we're strong. Best wishes. Let's get addicted to what's really good for us. Eat well, exercise, get fresh air, laugh and love. Sincerely, Ms. Joolie
Author health Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 As someone whose psych meds keep me out of the hospital and able to live a productive life, I take serious issue with this statement! PLEASE know what you're talking about before you post. Sedgwick. I appologize for this. I am very sorry. I knew it was wrong when I wrote it. I should not have. If they work for you by all means take them. Yes street drugs can be much worse because they are not controlled and they can be cut + other reasons. What I meant was they used to prescribe what I mentioned long time ago for various problems. The meds are designed to help as well. It's just that I feel natural methods should be the first line of attack exercise, natural supplements etc. Again I apologize, if they work for you and you're good. Then great. I hope you heal, I hope I heal. I wish only the best for everyone. I will get back further to everyone else's replies and this later - I'm at work now. Thank you again.
rand0m Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I hope everybody reads this entire thread. Nothing will make you feel better than being healthy: eating right, exercising, reading a book, taking up a new hobby, running, hiking, playing sports. I've seen it go both ways. Some "friends" (aquaintances might be a better word) turned to drugs and alcohol.. and fell badly; I no longer have contact with them, and for all I know, some of them may have passed. Others get set on a great path, go back to school, live better lifestyles, become better individuals. Guess which ones had more contact from their exes? Guess which ones had more contact with new and amazing potential partners?
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Sorry, I forgot you don't believe in psych meds; I think you told me that once before. Have you considered homeopathic remedies? Yeah, LS can be dangerous for an empath or co-dependent. I use it as therapy to help disconnect emotion from reasoning, with varying levels of success. It sounds like your regime is a healthy one. I need to consider that. BTW, I've found Seroquel (one of those bad psych meds) to take the edge off really tough days with no adverse side effects other than some somnolence. Makes for a great sleep aid when my mind won't stop running at night with all the divorce stuff. Also, I find having an animal to be a calming influence and distraction. I've got a siamese cat hugging my arm right now as I type. Hey, watch the claws! Ya, I'm not about the meds. I may be an empath! I have a cat too! She is pure and she rocks! Cool that yours is affectionate!
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Yeah, a puppy is a really calming influence for me. Especially when you first get him or her and that puppy is running around all over the house ****ting on anything and everything. Then one morning you wake up and the dog has chewed on every shoe you own and when you finally corner the puppy, it gets this wide-eyed look (not unlike many women who are caught red-handed) with these big puppy dog eyes mentally suggesting to you, "Please love me. I didn't know. I was a dumb dog but I'm learning." (not unlike most dumpers). To the original poster: I suggest you and I book airfare to Vegas for a weekend. After drinking, partying and gambling until 4 am, we'll eventually stumble out only to wake up in a ditch next to the MGM. Then we can continue where we left off until we wake up three miles outside of Vegas in the desert. After walking in 120 degree heat for an hour, we'll eventually get back to the hotel, catch a flight back home and write about our experiences about, "redemption and absolution in the Vegas desert." We'll get two great book deals and end up on Oprah. We'll proceed to have a groupie backstage and then end up on Letterman talking about the entire ordeal. Then you won't have two thoughts about her. (if the above didn't make you smile, please seek out a professional psychologist or a cheap drug dealer) LOL! You know I may very well go to Vegas soon! I plan a trip around there! I may very well take you up on that! "redemption and absolution in the Vegas desert" I like the sound of that!
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 I know it seems fun now but talk to people who have been addicted for years and see how fun it is. Do not go down this road. Thank you! Those are great words! My uncle once said he smoked cigs to get the ladies. At 40 he lifted his cigg and said, now I just have this and no ladies! lol
Woggle Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Thank you! Those are great words! My uncle once said he smoked cigs to get the ladies. At 40 he lifted his cigg and said, now I just have this and no ladies! lol I will not put up her pics because I do not do things like that but I was married to a woman that got into cocaine and seeing her now compared to what she was 8 years ago would put anybody off of drugs. It started with coke and now it is heroine, meth, crack and god knows what else. Don't end up like her. I actually don't see anything wrong with occasional weed use but never go beyond that.
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 As someone whose psych meds keep me out of the hospital and able to live a productive life, I take serious issue with this statement! PLEASE know what you're talking about before you post. Once again. I apologize Sedgwick, I elaborated on my last post.
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 I wouldn't recommend any drugs or psych medications unless you're diagnosed with depression. People these days take them when they're feeling blue, and not clinically depressed and that's a problem. A pill won't fix things, and in the US especially there's this belief that they will. I agree 100%. I really feel people should first take care of themselves. If it gets really, really bad, then go for the pills.
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 This is where a competent psychiatrist comes in! I agree. People need help, they gotta get out there and ask for it sometimes.
Author health Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Exactly, you should be diagnosed before you take it. People these days lose a family member, and take them to cope with the normal grieving process. I'm not saying they're not feeling the lowest of the low, but taking medication to make it better isn't always the right thing to do. I remember taking an anti-depressant to quit smoking years ago, and it was a horrible experience. It turned me into a brain dead zombie who literally blanked on multiple hours. I sat in a chair staring with NO thoughts in my head, I'd never take it again. I agree. A divorce or break up is a LOSS! People have to face their feelings grieve it! They have to try to heal and well as possible. Naturally if possible. If they don't they get sick! I've read that post from that girl with another guy for 3 years - still wondering what her original ex is doing - that is not cool. I think to enter a new relationship when they haven't recovered from past relationships is a fatal thing..unless it's fixed. Healing and true grieving takes time and it's individual..Drugs are most definately not the answer.
Recommended Posts