sugar_and_spice Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 are you willing and happy to live your life alone or would you settle for companionship?
counterman Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I would have to be very picky if I do not find someone that I could be with. In saying that, once it gets to [point that is described by the scenario, my preferences will change (realising that my standards are too high) and I would be with someone I want at the moment (who I probably wouldn't have gone out with years ago), hence it wouldn't be called settling.
Knittress Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 (edited) In some way we all "settle," as no one can be everything all the time... and then people go and change periodically! The nature of relationships change too, over time. So chances are that you're ALWAYS going to have to be overlooking/working through something annoying or unsatisfying any relationship. But no, I would not commit my life to someone who I did not respect as an equal or felt was only a friend. Good thing I like cats... ;>) Edited February 25, 2010 by Knittress
Mr White Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 In some way we all "settle," as no one can be everything all the time... and then people go and change periodically! The nature of relationships change too, over time. So chances are that you're ALWAYS going to have to be overlooking/working through something annoying or unsatisfying any relationship. But no, I would not commit my life to someone who I did not respect as an equal or felt was only a friend. Good thing I like cats... ;>) I'm glad to see that there is at least one more woman (other than my gf) on this planet that understands this.
aerogurl87 Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 are you willing and happy to live your life alone or would you settle for companionship? I would be happy to live alone with some f*ck buddies from time to time.
Peter Attis Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I'd like to think that I'd be fine being alone. 'Settling' is in no way fair to either party.
CarrieT Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 The older I get, the more I am thinking of "settling." I stopped believing in the concept of a soul mate decades ago. And honestly, I have seriously thought of marrying a gay man just to have that familial companionship which I know would exist without the pressures of sex. I have two gay men who have offered me "Cole Porter Marriages" and if I hit my 50th year without a partner, I might take one of them up on it.
sumdude Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Somewhere along the line I suppose i would 'settle' so to speak. Comes a point... life is short. I just can't imagine living another 30 - 40 years alone. It gets harder as you get older.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I would rather be alone. Settling seems too much like faking it and I can't fake it.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Well, at my age (33), I think I would rather be alone than be with any old warm body. I've been single for most of the last year and a half, and I'm doing just fine. But I'm young and have no real problems. You might get a different answer if you ask me in 20 years. I'd like to think I'd never settle, but priorities do change.
tigressA Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I would be happy to live alone with some f*ck buddies from time to time. I second this. And there is no "the" right person--there is "a" right person.
paddington bear Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I'm pretty much living that life anyway now. And it is trying to just make yourself happy by yourself and achieve stuff. I too would go with the f***buddies failing any kind of proper relationship appearing
CarrieT Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I'm pretty much living that life anyway now. And it is trying to just make yourself happy by yourself and achieve stuff. I too would go with the f***buddies failing any kind of proper relationship appearing This IS my life right now -- and I have f*** buddies whom I can call (but I haven't for months). It is no fun and I miss the prospects of a relationship or even a date.
pandagirl Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I've never been one to expect the lighting bolts, rainbows, and butterfly feeling that accompany love. So, to some people, I may be already be "settling." All I want is someone that makes me happy! (And that I want to have sex with. haha.)
phineas Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I don't like the word settle. I personally am attracted to women with dark hair, tans & larger breasts. But married a petite red-head that sunburns. I don't think I settled. But then, she cheated on me so I guess I dropped the ball somewhere.
skydiveaddict Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 i will dream until i do! Me too.............
Kristine Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Well I'm in love with the guy I'm dating now so I got lucky so to speak. But yes I personally would settle because I don't want to be alone. Reason I went on a bad date with a guy I didn't like, should have trusted my gut would have saved me from tons of life problems.
SadandConfusedWA Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I would estimate that in over 50% of marriages and LTRs, at least one person is settling. By settling I mean a person is not truly in love with their partner.
Golfilla Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 I would estimate that in over 50% of marriages and LTRs, at least one person is settling. By settling I mean a person is not truly in love with their partner. Geez, and I thought *I* was cynical! Personally, I'd rather be alone than to 'settle'. In fact, I can't see myself getting into a relationship in the forseeable future even *if* I meet Mrs Right. My single life is getting better and better all the time. This year I'm lining up a vacation in Japan and a move to the other side of the country before the year is out, along with several weekends away and a few other little projects. Besides, I've had my fill of naggers, flakes and women with whom I have absolutely nothing in common. Right now I'd just rather have "friends with benefits", people I could see when I felt like going out or having some company, but those people would then be free to hang out with other people when I want some time alone.
sumdude Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 But how do you define "settling"? Each of us may have our own idea of it but is it just finding someone who matches at least a certain number of the qualities we desire? Sometimes one had to adjust expectations too... hate to say it but it's true. Pretty much every guy wants the sweet young babe with a heart of gold and a smokin' bod. Almost every girl want Mr. 6' 2" with the handsome face and six digit salary. So if we don't get Mr/Miss Perfect are we then settling? Or is that a recipe for a lonely life?
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