I don't know where I stand with her.

[Seymore]

I had posted about a girl I worked with about a week ago. We'd been passing light notes back and forth and leaving smileys on each other's punch cards, and when I found out she was leaving, I did something nice for her for the Friday before V-Day. She told a co-worker that she hoped I would ask her out and I did. We went out for coffee on V-Day and we talked for 2 hours straight. She seemed like she had a good time and she said she did as well, but when I asked her to dinner for the next time, she said she recently got out of a relationship and there was a lot of drama and she didn't want to start dating yet and bring someone into the drama, but she was flattered I asked. I told her she has my number and if and when the drama dies down to give me a call. I find it hard to believe she'd just write me off after that date, because I wasn't overzealous or fake and I feel I was genuinely nice, plus she doesn't know much about me even after that date (the conversation revolved mostly around her) and it would suck if she didn't give me a fair shot.

 

I played it cool last week, didn't go into her department or anything unless it was work related, no smileys on her punch card or anything. By Friday, I hadn't seen her all week until we had bumped into each other in the break room and she asked where I'd been. I smiled, said work was keeping me busy (which was true) and went back to what I was doing. 5 minutes later she texted me saying she hoped I wasn't hiding from her. I told her I really was busy, and she responded saying "I was kidding, I haven't been here the last 2 days!", which led me to wonder why she even asked if I was hiding from her. So I told her to have a good weekend and that was that.

 

2 days ago she texted me around 7pm, saying the next day was her last day. I shot the breeze with her for about an hour back and forth, then said that I knew she had a kid and probably was busy so I was going to let her go. She said she was waiting at the doctor's office and wasn't busy, but said she was glad I talked to her. So we talked some more. She then said that she kept the 2 or 3 drawings I had done for her over the last couple months, and asked if I'd draw her one more picture before she left the job. So the next day I drew her a picture and left it on her desk. She called and thanked me and said I was very talented, and then asked for yet one MORE drawing. I jokingly called her high maintenance and she laughed. I drew one last smiley on her punch card on her last day and that was that.

 

I'm left wondering if she is even interested or if I got friendzoned and didn't even know it. Certain people at work know we went out on V-Day, and I made sure NOBODY knew because I didn't want rumors flying, for her sake. Another co-worker told me yesterday "Oh yeah, congratulations" and when I asked why she said "I'm not supposed to tell you, but you'll find out". This girl talks to the girl I went out with so now I'm paranoid. I'm wondering how they know and what, if anything, is going on. I'm just still confused and don't know how I should act if she starts texting me again. I don't want to be an a-hole, but I don't want to get strung along, and I can't tell where I stand. I almost want to text her and say "I hope you had a good first day at your new job", but I don't want to seem needy. I want to leave the ball in her court since she said she wasn't ready to date.

Edited February 25, 2010 by Seymore

[whichwayisup]

Text her exactly what you wrote here. It's just a nice thing to do..

 

Then, back off and let do her thing.

 

She was honest with you, she's not ready to date or get involved.. Give it time if you really do like her and think she's worth it. I will say, don't put all your focus on her..Continue with your life, your friends, and keep busy.

 

Time will tell if she's interested or not.

[boogieboy]

Youre getting strung along. She was interested in you to go have coffee with you, and then during coffee she discovered that you didnt have the game to make her like you. So she friendzoned you, and is using you for attention. When a woman tells you shes not ready for a relationship, she means not with YOU. You will see her dating some guy soon. Remember when you teased her about being high maintenance? You have to do more of that, not kisssing her ass, and doing whatever she wants or needs. You cant be offering up your services for a woman youre not dating yet.

 

You dont pass notes or put smilies on punch cards, you ask her out. If she doesnt say yes, you dont talk to her anymore. Thats it. If you continue to hang with her at that point, she will know she has control over you, and you arent attractive anymore.