joeydeee Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 my girlfriend said she doesn't want a bf any more bc she doesn't want to answer to any one.. we agreed to be friends and after a few days i couldnt take it because i have more than friends feelings.... i have put no contact in effect but she will call and text i dont know what to do ...do i answer? totally ignore? life ****in blows
Ilovecake Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 If you can, I would say, be honest with her. Tell her you need some time and space. Tell her it's just too hard for you right now. Hopefully she'll respect that. She'll probably feel relieved; I bet she's not quite ready to be friends yet, but just like you doesn't know what to say.
Author joeydeee Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 If you can, I would say, be honest with her. Tell her you need some time and space. Tell her it's just too hard for you right now. Hopefully she'll respect that. She'll probably feel relieved; I bet she's not quite ready to be friends yet, but just like you doesn't know what to say. but she does want to be friends, i cant take it because i love her...i told her i can't be friends with her any more.... i'd do anything to get her back i am just going to ignor her contacting me in any way...... how can i get her back?
scienceguy Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 my girlfriend said she doesn't want a bf any more bc she doesn't want to answer to any one.. we agreed to be friends and after a few days i couldnt take it because i have more than friends feelings.... i have put no contact in effect but she will call and text i dont know what to do ...do i answer? totally ignore? life ****in blows If you're still into her, and she is not into you, then you are clearly not in a position to be friends with her right now. You want one type of a relationship, and she wants a different one. It's as simple as that. Having been in your position before, I'll tell you right now that you might as well end all contact with her. It will only cause you grief as you struggle to be friends with somebody who you want a romantic relationship ship with. It will only poison things with her and hurt you more. Even if you are able to stuff your romantic feelings down, then think of the possibility of her meeting a new guy and you still trying to be friends with her. If it hurts you now, then it'll hurt a million times worse if that happens. Best thing you can do is to look out for your feelings first. Namely, let yourself grieve and heal from the break up. A long time will pass before you (may) feel ready to be friends with her. Honestly, I'll tell you that you'll probably never be friends with her. I've seen this type of stuff often enough (and it happened to me): one person will break up with another while the "dumped" person is still deeply in love with the dumper. You really don't heal from the break up--ever--because you are forced to deal with a lot of raw feelings while the other person has chosen to end things on their side. It's tough to really confront your limitations in that way. Not an easy task....
bruce wayne Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 the simplest thing to do is look at your options. be her bf? she doesnt want that right now be her friend? she wants that ignore her? is that what you want? i can tell you i been there. the ex that i posted about on my thread did this to me. she would break up and then text me hours later saying we can still be friends, blah, blah. if u keep pursuing her she will go away. if you come less available she will pursue (9 times outta 10). she will either appreciate u more or move on. but she said she wants to be friends...tell her how u feel if u think thats neccesary and become the friend that u were before u dated. not the one that was interested or tryna get her but the one who may have had other options.
The Paper Knight Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 my girlfriend said she doesn't want a bf any more bc she doesn't want to answer to any one.. we agreed to be friends and after a few days i couldnt take it because i have more than friends feelings.... i have put no contact in effect but she will call and text i dont know what to do ...do i answer? totally ignore? life ****in blows Symptom 2: not taking advice from LS and looking for people to agree with you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222700/ Your love sickness will not go away over night. Post here what you want to say to her and save face.
Ilovecake Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 but she does want to be friends, i cant take it because i love her...i told her i can't be friends with her any more.... i'd do anything to get her back i am just going to ignor her contacting me in any way...... how can i get her back? No she does not. She's telling you she wants to be friends but as soon as she starts getting serious about someone else you won't hear from her. Every dumper says they want to be friends because it's easier to say than you're not good enough to be my boyfriend. If you already told her that you don't want to be friends and she's still contacting you than she has absolutely no respect for your feelings. Personally I could not be friends with someone who doesn't give a hoot if they hurt me or not. Just look around, 90% of the threads in this forum are about exes staying friends, I haven't seen it work out for anyone yet.
Panov Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Pretty difficult decision, if you continue being friends you will still have the urge to be something more again. It's easier to let go if you just remove every detail of her from your life, and move on. If you two were friends before, not just regular friends but good friends then you could go ahead and do that.. plus who knows, maybe she will take interest in you again.
BigTenInchRecord Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Lets all be honest here. Exes always say they want to remain friends, but do they ever really want to? Odds are they have plenty of friends, they certainly don't need one more in you. Plus who would want a friend with all of the messy failed relationship stuff constantly looming over. They say they want to be friends for a few reasons however. Obviously they think it's a nice way to let someone down, as if saying "I don't want you in my life the way you have been, but I still want you in my life sparingly...cause I still care". (Total BS!). They also want you to be around as a friend in case they think they made a mistake they have you as back up. That's why as soon as a new love interest enters the mix, the friendship is OVER, and you never hear from them. Odds are, even if they don't date someone new, their friendship promise will go unfulfilled anyway. I think that 9 times out 10 dumpers don't really want much to do with the ex. Who would break up with someone then want to continually see them around? It seems to me if the dumper is really making such a big effort to remain friends and talk/hang out all of the time, there's still some form of attraction there. And that's why when the breakup is really final...this doesn't happen!
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