greengenie Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Now, I'm certainly not the type to put my heart on a plate or write long, sweeping, emotional monologues, so I'll try to sum this up. Whenever I see a girl I deem attractive, whether by physical or mental qualities, my brain really likes to put them on pedestals. I think, 'wow, because of x and y, she must be a fantastic human being'. It happens ALL the time and frustrates me to no end because it seems like I can't do anything about it. It makes it incredibly difficult for me to approach them, whereas I usually have no trouble with people I don't really consider an option. Any tips for toning it down or making it easier to approach etc.? Help would be much obliged.
alphamale Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Any tips for toning it down or making it easier to approach etc.? imagine you've been dating this attractive person for a year and now they seem unattractive
boogieboy Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Treat them like you would your little sister. Or a woman that is attracted to you, but you just see her as a friend.
alphamale Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 attractive people are just as screwed up as everyone else, maybe even more so
Ronni_W Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Whenever I see a girl I deem attractive, whether by physical or mental qualities, my brain really likes to put them on pedestals. I think, 'wow, because of x and y, she must be a fantastic human being'. That's not putting anybody on a pedestal, its just creating fantasy people with fantasy characteristics using totally flawed "logic". Start arguing with your brain. Tell it, "No, that's inaccurate. X just makes her a good looking human being and Y just indicates she has half a brain in her head." Or tell it, "You're just making up stuff about her based on x and y. Just cos x and y are present, does NOT add up to 'fantastic' human being material. Quit being illogical, making guesses and assumptions, and jumping to conclusions for which there is no actual proof." Then figure out what other qualities you think makes people "fantastic human beings", and remind your brain that it's impossible to know whether or not someone possesses it just by looking at them or just cos they've demonstrated a bit of an IQ. (I'm thinking qualities like understanding, kindness, patience, high self-esteem, generosity, empathy, humility, self-respect, ability to forgive, courage, perseverance, integrity, trustworthiness, resilience, life and relationship skills, etc., etc.) Bottom line is that you need to take charge of your own thoughts by replacing them with something more accurate, logical and realistic.
tami-chan Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 imagine you've been dating this attractive person for a year and now they seem unattractive :Dlol...alpha...really?
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