Ilovecake Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I effin hate my ex too...but I absolutely do not love him, as a matter of fact I think he's kind of icky.
jen_r Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I hear you. I f**king hate my ex too with a passion. But I'm still terribly in love with him and its driving me insane.
Author mizundastud Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 (edited) @ jen r I know sometimes I just want to track him down and act like an Insane B!@tch but I just don't want to give him no more ego boosters I've already made a fool of myself enough. Edited February 25, 2010 by mizundastud
counterman Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 @ jen r I know sometimes I just want to track him down and act like an Insane B!@tch but I just don't want to give him no more ego boosters I've already made a fool of myself enough. Well said. I have had thoughts of going berserk on my ex but I have done enough already. Plus, over 3 months of No Contact has really straightened me out.
jen_r Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 @ jen r I know sometimes I just want to track him down and act like an Insane B!@tch but I just don't want to give him no more ego boosters I've already made a fool of myself enough. I have gone 'insane b!tch' on him already. Showing up @ our apartment unannounced just hoping he'll be there and bawling my eyes out to him while he's telling me to leave. I can't help myself from contacting him. My heart still belongs to him and I dont want anyone else to have it. But, when I think of how he's treated me, I want to kill him. My mind is allll messed up.
biqboy42o Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I dont hate my ex. Nor am I in love with "it". But I'll always care for her. That's about it.
DenverBachelor Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Never let anyone define your own self-worth.
Author mizundastud Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 So what do you do when you can't stand someone for treating you bad, but you still love them and want to be with them. And I don't feel like he deserves me, but I still love him. Why does he get the upper hand me an attractive, smart, kind, loving woman who would do anything for him to be so deeply in love and he gets to treat me any kind of way and do what he wants and I still can't shake him.
Author mizundastud Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 (edited) Never let anyone define your own self-worth. It's not done by choice, it kinda just happens without you knowing it. Nothing makes me happy when I'm not with him and its like when I try to do something I feel like I'm lying to myself. I've been in a relationship after him and everything the last guy did reminded of how much I miss him. Its like when does this end. Edited February 25, 2010 by mizundastud
Ilovecake Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 So what do you do when you can't stand someone for treating you bad, but you still love them and want to be with them. And I don't feel like he deserves me, but I still love him. Why does he get the upper hand me an attractive, smart, kind, loving woman who would do anything for him to be so deeply in love and he gets to treat me any kind of way and do what he wants and I still can't shake him. He does not get the upper hand, you're just giving him the upper hand in your mind. All those feeling will fade with time. Start creating new memories so that your brain pushes out the old ones. There is only so much room up there.
cdt76 Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 It's not done by choice, it kinda just happens without you knowing it. Nothing makes me happy when I'm not with him and its like when I try to do something I feel like I'm lying to myself. I've been in a relationship after him and everything the last guy did reminded of how much I miss him. Its like when does this end. Yeah...it doesn't end really. I think your body forgets what it's supposed to feel like over time then eventually, your mind will follow because the aching and wanting and anger will be out of your body. My problem is that I don't know when that will be. It's taken so long already and it's all still here and like you I want nothing more than to have back what was. There is also the issue that I am now so broken I can't put my heart in anyone's hands let alone hers again.
Ilovecake Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 It's not done by choice, it kinda just happens without you knowing it. Nothing makes me happy when I'm not with him and its like when I try to do something I feel like I'm lying to myself. I've been in a relationship after him and everything the last guy did reminded of how much I miss him. Its like when does this end. It's completely done by choice every second of the day you have a choice as to what you think about and what you do. You are making the choice to keep thinking about your ex. You're just going to have to make a conscious effort to stop thinking about him. We all had to do it. If you just sit there and let things happen around you you’re going to get nowhere. This goes for everything in life.
GrayClouds Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 So what do you do when you can't stand someone for treating you bad, but you still love them and want to be with them. And I don't feel like he deserves me, but I still love him. You first stop focusing on the hate or love and do ALL of the following: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? Why does he get the upper hand me an attractive, smart, kind, loving woman who would do anything for him to be so deeply in love and he gets to treat me any kind of way and do what he wants and I still can't shake him. Because you give it too him. It is your choice, by focusing on him rather then what you need to do to heal, your handing over your power. You was willing to sacrifice yourself for his happiness and now you can understand why he feels like he can treat you less then your worth. He treated you poorly and you rewarded him with love. Here is the question you should be asking: What has caused you to think that love mean caring for someone even after then choose to treat you less then what worth? Going NC forcing on yourself, working to understand why you have confused pain for love, and making sure you learn how not to do it again will make shaking him more then possible. But you have to want to and then work hard at it.
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