mizundastud Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) Its been 13 months since me and the love of my life split. I'm still deeply in love with him. Somedays I have my good days and somedays I fall into a deep depression (like now). Since we've broken up he's had a baby with another woman and I even tried to have a relationship with someone new but it didn't work out. He tells me he still loves me, no one can take my place and he even calls me Mrs. (His last name) but despite all my desperate attempts he won't come back to me. I'm sooo confused. I want him back but I don't want to pursue him any longer because every failed attempt makes me feel worse. He doesn't really call me so I try to refrain from doing the same. So what is his deal? How can I get him back? Or move on successfully because I'm stuck in love with him and I don't know what to do? If he really feels the way he says why doesn't he come back???? Please help me... Edited February 24, 2010 by mizundastud
counterman Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Actions speak louder than words. Even on here, I can call you Mrs (my last name). It's going to keep hurting your more and more if you stay in contact with him. I assume he's with someone else. Saying those things to you and not following through shows that there is no meaning behind those words. The more you listen to them and believe them, the more you are going to get hurt. Take care of yourself first and do not stretch this out any longer. Stop any contact with him and just take it day by day, keeping yourself occupied. If he wants to get back together with you, he will come to you in person, apologise for leading you on and ask you if you want to get back together. Then, you can consider it. Right now, it's all about you. You have to move on. To move on successfully, you need to stick with No Contact.
Author mizundastud Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 I know I need to just concentrate on myself and move on but its so hard. And when I try NC and we go a couple months without talking he calls me. At first I'm hesitant to respond but I don't want to miss the call when he says he wants to work it out. And if they're just words why doesn't he leave me alone. Its just difficult but you're right.
9Lives Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I know I need to just concentrate on myself and move on but its so hard. And when I try NC and we go a couple months without talking he calls me. At first I'm hesitant to respond but I don't want to miss the call when he says he wants to work it out. And if they're just words why doesn't he leave me alone. Its just difficult but you're right. i understand exactly how you feel. I wouldnt call him anymore but i know if he called me, i would answer. I would hear him out and if he isnt talking about anything..just in the conversation. I think it is too much to ask you not to answer right now but truly truly...you need to do what ever it takes to move on. I can see my ex doing this to me and I am going get myself ready for it cause I dont want to keep opening up wounds I am trying to close. It is a tough situation but you can make it thru. It took me a looooooonnnnnnnggggggg time to even get to this point. It still hurts but I am finally getting myself ready and heading forward. Here's a thought I think I am going to use. The next time he calls...dont answer...just text him back and say I will call you back. Then when you are really doing much better....like over him...then call him back. But that puts you in control...not him
GrayClouds Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Its been 13 months since me and the love of my life split. I'm still deeply in love with him. Somedays I have my good days and somedays I fall into a deep depression (like now). Since we've broken up he's had a baby with another woman and I even tried to have a relationship with someone new but it didn't work out. He tells me he still loves me, no one can take my place and he even calls me Mrs. (His last name) but despite all my desperate attempts he won't come back to me. I'm sooo confused. I want him back but I don't want to pursue him any longer because every failed attempt makes me feel worse. He doesn't really call me so I try to refrain from doing the same. So what is his deal? How can I get him back? Or move on successfully because I'm stuck in love with him and I don't know what to do? If he really feels the way he says why doesn't he come back???? Please help me... Sorry Miz but it is time to move on. He messing with you mind which show you less respect then you desrive. Read the links and alloq yourself to heal: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? Good luck
sedgwick Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Ugh, he had a baby with another woman and he still calls you "Mrs.?" That's pretty icky.
GrayClouds Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Ugh, he had a baby with another woman and he still calls you "Mrs.?" That's pretty icky. Thank you for saying it out loud...
paleblue Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 what he is doing is called - screwing with your head. he has had a baby with another woman. you need to move on. and he needs to stop being selfish. him talking to you like that - and you being receptive to it - is nothing more than an ego boost for him - not you. he feels like the man, you feel like a pile of ? than he goes back to his woman. they are together because that is where he wants to be. you are left alone feeling like a pile of? i knoooowww it is hard to do. but you have to. he is giving the best years of his life to a new woman and their child while you sit around in limbo. think about that. what about your best years? some guy is out there right now looking for you.... and it is not your ex.
Author mizundastud Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 @9lives you said it took you a loooong time what's long becuz I don't know much more of this I can take. I know I should stick with NC but it still hurts....where do I begin? Sometimes I feel like checkin myself into a hospital, I know it sounds sad but I never loved this hard before and been hurt this much. @grayclouds I already know I need to move on but I need help, I really want to get over him it sickens me that he has this much control over me @sedgwick please don't rub it in I'm screwed up enough, he is so selfish but I Love Him
counterman Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 There's no easy way to go about it. The best way is for your to remain in no contact. If he is going to come back, it is going to be in person at your door step, apologising and going through counselling. Do not sit around and wait for his call. He does not control your live. Sometimes it is just good to remove yourself form all this and have a night out with your friends. Do something you enjoy and start to feel better about yourself. There will be plenty of bad days where you feel sad. If you feel like crying, let it out. If you feel angry, box it out. One thing I noticed when I was starting to get over my ex was that I felt less sadness and more anger. Start by reading those guides and motivate yourself. Good luck!
Sassygirl2 Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 It sounds like you may need to get some professional help. I only say this because I am hearing in your posts that you are having a really hard time and by you saying you may need to go to the hospital is serious. I know because that happened to me after my divorce several years ago. It was the best thing for me at the time because I did get help for the depression I was going through. I was there for a week and then did therapy every week for at least a year to deal with all of the stress of my divorce and the custody battle I went through. Of course our situations are different but if you "think" you may need help, please get it! Don't be embarrassed. No man is worth your sanity! If you need to talk, please let me know. We are here for you. Hang in there. You are worth it!
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