Flavour Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Okay, I am here. Like every evening. Our conversation is just finished, we are seeing each other again in one month' time. Etc etc. But, hey guys, he is not here. He does not see my dining room in a mess because I have had a long day at work and my son has played all over and the cat has had a feline craziness crisis all around. He does not see my hair which are far from perfect. He has just asked , during the phone call, why I sounded despondent. Yes I am sad. My ex husband has just got married and I am happy for him and I actually like a lot his wife. She is nice with my children and a good girl. Do not try even to think that I am jealous in THAT sense. But I am jealous, yes a bit I am. Because my ex husband has someone near him- and I repeat, I am happy for him- while I have noone. I am alone in this relationship. Yes I am alone. I am alone picking my son from school, I am alone driving my car. I am alone cleaning the house and cooking the dinner. I am alone when I go to sleep. I am alone when I go for groceries and the bags are so heavy that I got a bursitis. I am alone reading my book. I am alone even when I study Hebrew and study really hard for my Ghiur: It is something I am doing for myself. But I feel alone even if he has tried to join my studies sometimes, to help. It is not his fault but now I hate him for being so far. For making me so alone. Sorry, a bit of drama. Oh he always tells it to me-You Italians, so dramatic, everything is a drama- well you know something? It IS a drama! Being alone SUCKS! He has not seen that I have gained weight, he has not seen that some days ago I was so tired that I just fell on the couch and got awake three hours later. In the meantime my son had already done his homework by himself ( the TRUE love of my life:laugh: ) and my child saw me so drained that he kissed me on the cheek and told me "Don't worry mum, I will help you." How many things he does not know me, of my life? How many things you just CANNOT say on the phone? They just don't get off your mouth! I don't know exactly why, but they don't. How many things I don't know of him and his life? How am I supposed to know? He was in a hurry. The phone call was closed with the usual formulas " have a lovely day, have a lovely night, I love you completely just understand that" etc etc. I don't know why they sound like mere words right now. I would like not answering to that dmaned phone tomorrow. But it would break my heart. Sorry for the long rant. I needed it.
aerogurl87 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 The distance can get to you when life gets very hectic and stressful, but when I have days like that, my guy and I just talk about it. Even if he's dead tired, he'll still take the time and listen to me vent about my day if he knows that I've had a bad day and I do the same for him. LDRs require sacrifice and alot more than if you lived close to each other. So why don't you just tell him you'd like it if he talked to you when you were having a stressful day if it'd help you feel better?
Mei Mei Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Dear Flavour, I feel for you! It really sucks when things are in a mess in our place and we cant get him know how we are facing to give us the support and comfort immediately. But do try to tell him what you are facing during the usual communication. He will be willing to listen! When I talk online with him everyday or on phone, I will tell every piece that is disturbing my mind and things I am facing at hands. He is a good listener, so I will feel relaxed after meeting him. Just see if you can get the time to talk to him in webcam so that the communication is more clear, and he can see your expression and mood at times to give appropriate response and support. I also remember a time when my ex had got a girl friend, that I just met her by chance. I had a sad moment, when feeling that I was staying alone when my So was so far away. But over a while, I has returned happy happy again. I know that I am not with this ex who is so bad to me in past. Though my So is that far, our heart is more close and his love is more valuable than a real relationship that I had in past. Then I will walk smiling again, with a sweet fulfuilling heart! Hope you will go back to read the thread on the warehouse warming words, you will feel happy soon again because many of us here are like you, are in the same boat, and are willing to understand and support at all time! Best wishes:bunny:
SuburbanOblivion Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 (((Hugs))) to you, you know we all feel your pain. What you described is the absolute hardest part of being in a LDR. You are in a relationship, but you are for the most part single, as far as day to day life is concerned. When you start to feel that disconnect, it hurts. Are you guys on Skype at all?
tami-chan Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 oh gosh, flavour....your post made me really sad...hope it will get better for you!
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