Lucky555 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 So I asked the guy i am in an exclusive relationship with to go to a place with me "sometime" when we both had time. I figured this would be a great time to get a drink somewhere and enjoy each others company in public and out of the bedroom. WELL, he tells me he is not sure he wanted to go there and said he will think about it. So basically he told me he was not interested in going to the place i asked him to go to. (I can't believe this because it sounds like he is being very selfish or maybe hes no interested in seeing me anymore?) We have kept in contact but he has not mentioned about getting together or when we will see each other. I am becoming a bit impatient because I don't feel as though he is trying to make efforts to see me. I think because there is no sex involved right now, he is just not bothering to see me, this is how i feel. (he knows it will be a little bit more time before i go there.) I really have been wanting to bring up these issues face to face as others have suggested on here. However it looks like i wont be seeing him..I have been the one lately to initiate seeing each other. I have been waiting for him to say something for TWO weeks! He has not even attempted. I don't understand..Why should i keep committing myself to this guy if he is not interested, and if he is not why doesn't he say anything! How can i bring this up? (He is a sensitive guy) I basically want to ask if he is really interested in seeing me or does he want it to be over? (Would this be too harsh to say?) I have been tossing this idea for the last couple of weeks. For me i just want to make sure i am not wasting my time. Right now i feel like our dating is not progressing and neither is our relationship for the past three weeks! During our conversations they have been good but they have been causal. And he has already said he didn't want to go to a place i had suggested.
TaraMaiden Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I dunno....I get the distinct impression that you think it's exclusive, but he sure as hell doesn't..... if it's been 2 weeks of silence... then take it as read that he's not interested. 2 weeks? I've never gone 2 hours without hearing from an interested guy!
Author Lucky555 Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 I dunno....I get the distinct impression that you think it's exclusive, but he sure as hell doesn't..... if it's been 2 weeks of silence... then take it as read that he's not interested. 2 weeks? I've never gone 2 hours without hearing from an interested guy! we have been in contact....have not seen each other in two weeks because we are both busy. However he has not made any move to suggest when we see each other again.
TaraMaiden Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 That's my point. You've been in verbal contact only, he's been disinterested in following up your ideas, has suggested nothing in return, and you haven't had sex yet. Tell me, do you know for an absolute fact that when you spoke to him, he wasn't sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing nothing but a smile, with a naked woman behind him waiting for part 2? Don't you see any red flags here..?
Author Lucky555 Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 That's my point. You've been in verbal contact only, he's been disinterested in following up your ideas, has suggested nothing in return, and you haven't had sex yet. Tell me, do you know for an absolute fact that when you spoke to him, he wasn't sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing nothing but a smile, with a naked woman behind him waiting for part 2? Don't you see any red flags here..? This is what he told me regarding the my asking him out. He said he would think about it but does not commit or make promises...WHAT? So odd. Well I know he is not going to sleep with another woman. I do trust him that much. I know him pretty well. However, something is odd. I have not quite figured it out, sometimes i think its because of work he has but he could still suggest something. i just don't like sitting like an idiot waiting for him. I am going to let him contact me, which he usually does within the week. I guess i just need to be blunt. Are you interested or not because it doesn't seem like you are. Otherwise if you feel like your not then I don't think we should continue exclusivity. I agree with you, he said he was exclusive, would not date other people, but it just doesn't make sense to me of what is taking place with NO progression.
boogieboy Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 No sex? Apparently he doesnt think youre worth waiting for anymore.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I figured this would be a great time to get a drink somewhere and enjoy each others company in public and out of the bedroom. I think because there is no sex involved right now, he is just not bothering to see me, this is how i feel. (he knows it will be a little bit more time before i go there.) You've posted several threads about this guy and I think a number of posters have told you that this doesn't seem to be a relationship but rather a FWB. The things you've said above make it sound like a FWB. Have the two of you never been in public together?
Author Lucky555 Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 You've posted several threads about this guy and I think a number of posters have told you that this doesn't seem to be a relationship but rather a FWB. The things you've said above make it sound like a FWB. Have the two of you never been in public together? yes we have, i dont understand why he is not initiating. Its probably going to be a talk which may end things between him and I. I personally want someone to invest themselves in a relationship. It was my last attempt to see him and see what was going on. However, he didn't and I guess i dont need to be sensitive. Thanks for the reminder though...its encouraging me to make my statement. I just thought this time it was going to be different with a guy...
alphamale Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Why should i keep committing myself to this guy if he is not interested, and if he is not why doesn't he say anything! if you haven't had sex and had the exclusive talk you haven't "committed" yourself to anyone... How can i bring this up? there is nothing to bring up...its already over as far as hes concerned
Author Lucky555 Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 if you haven't had sex and had the exclusive talk you haven't "committed" yourself to anyone... there is nothing to bring up...its already over as far as hes concerned Well he knows why i can't sleep with him right off and i am glad i have not since i have got to see what he is actually acting like. I think you are right. the exclusiveness was only in regards to sex. He probably doesn't want a relationship...even though i have already said i didn't want friends with benefits! Otherwise, he is not going to even make an effort because he was only after sleeping with me and nothing more. this is what it appears to be. It really is sad i made myself somewhat vulnerable thinking this one was different. SO I know i will be addressing the issue of him not wanting a relationship and how i do and how its just not going to work. thanks for the insight.
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