GrayTree Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Here is my story thread and I'm really looking for more responses to it as Im desperate for advice and insight: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222577/ But my question here is...if you are trying to win back an ex...if you want a second chance say a few months down the road. Should you delete them off Facebook or not? I think Im gonna attempt LC as friends whenever he decides to IM me as a friend because he said he would...but is Facebook too much? Does it take away the mystery some say is needed to bring them back...or would deleting him make him forget me? Please read my other thread if you want to know my situation. Its a weird one Thank you.
Phishes Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 yes, this isn't a weird situation and i know where ur coming from. but here's a key theory that basically everyone, in my school at least, believes in. And the theory is that online relationships are very bad, im guilty of Facebook too. But what you want to do is, if you want a second chance, you gotta start things over. Just go up to him when you can catch him alone and say "hi" or "hey" to start, if he replies like he's not blowing you off then maybe say "how's it going?". Even better to do is ask him about a class u know he has, or that you have together! That will let him know that ur interested in his life, and more importantly that ur not afraid of him because the first relationship didn't work out! And i know its hard to "get back on the saddle" and start things over, but i'm going throught pretty much the same situation except from a guys perspective. Good luck, and i hope this helps! P.S. tell me how this works out, i want to know for my situation!
Author GrayTree Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 We dont like near one another in a way where we can accidently run into eachother. We are two hours away, so my question about facebook is I feel its one of the only key means of contact thats not phone or text or IM.
VBH Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Facebook is a funny thing. I might suggest to just make most of your information private to this person under the privacy settings (ie. your status updates, posts to you, your photos and most important your wall). When you have done this, you have the option to preview your profile the way the person sees it not as it is. If it feels too harsh to just delete this person, you are still withdrawing your life information from them with the privacy settigns, but not deleting/blocking them. So, the mystery is there, but you haven't deleted them and closed the door for down the road. I have done this myself...so let me know if you have any questions. VBH
Author GrayTree Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 VBH: Did that facebook thing work to get an ex to contact you?
BigTenInchRecord Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Facebook is a tricky situation. Many a time I contemplated deleting the ex from Facebook, mainly as a tool to get a reaction from her, or at least make her wonder. When we first broke up it extremely hard to look at pictures of her, but there was about a dozen times I caved in, which of course made it much worse. I soon learned my lesson though, and I'm proud to say I went about 2-3 months without so much of a glance at her page. What stopped me from deleting her was the thought that if I did, she would think she still had a strong control over me and my feelings, thus making me look pathetic. After a long bout of NC she re-entered my life strongly out of nowhere, thankfully at a point where I was over her. I don't know if deleting her would have kept her away, but perhaps it could have done just that. I suppose my situation wasn't totally normal, cause I never really made a scene or begged her to take me back. But I would say if you can manage self-control over what you look at, don't delete. However if you can't, or you really wanna take a long-shot at sparking curiousity, do it. I would like to point out that no one can really answer your question as to what effect it will have on your ex. How can someone possibly predict how another human being they don't know will react to something? It varies from person to person, relationship to relationship, etc. Just do what will be best for you, and that's really the best advice you can take.
carnegie Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I think if you want a second chance, you must let him go and go NC. honestly, I appreciate Caliguy's tip for No Contact and Second chance. you can find them in this forum. And you must do NC completely, truly, fully in your mind just in order to move on and create a new YOU if you really want a second chance. Coz every breaking up has a reason, maybe from you maybe from him. And if you and your bf come back together, please ask yourself "what is the difference between this time and last time?". go NC it mean focus on YOU and your own life. And he is outside your life right now. i'm really sorry. Facebook is such a powerful tool to prevent your healing process. To prepare for the second chance, you must make a new you first. Dont worry about "he'll forget you if you block him on facebook", because forgeting a person you loved is the hardest thing you can do! but it's the easiest thing when you're not in love. TIME is yours. use it to make a new you. When your heart heal, when you're ready for the second chance without any cloudy feelings, unblock his facebook page. That's my opinion.i'll be glad if it's useful for you! Best regards!
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