Kristine Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 What do you think it means because we were talking marriage and I think that's off the table basically, but does it mean more? Frankly we were moving too fast and need to slow down, but when a guy says it what's he really saying? Yes it's the guy I've know for a month and half now, I like him which is why I'm even putting up with this crap otherwise he'd be out the door. But I am putting up with crap so how do you slow things down? We have a date tonight. Does that mean no kissing? I do know I won't be having sex with him unless he commits to me in some way shape or form. And by that I mean verbally state a commitment (boyfriend/girlfriend) introduce me to his people, that sort of thing. Am I wasting my time with this guy? That's what I want to know.
TO_Girl Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 "Yes it's the guy I've know for a month and half now, I like him which is why I'm even putting up with this crap otherwise he'd be out the door. But I am putting up with crap so how do you slow things down? " Wow I don't even know what to say here. Please go back to your own sentence and tell me if that makes sense. So you are so weak and self defeated that it only takes a guy a month to get you to take crap from him because you like him ??? Hey I know hot guys who want a free ticket to using women without having to lift a finger to love and respect her... becuase you will take their crap right? Go ahead on your date tonight, dress nice and look good .But you will no longer be a woman with self worth and a sense of herself becuase now you have qualified to be a doormat. Sorry to sound harsh but I am so amazed at what I'm reading. I can't believe women go to this lenghts to catch the attention that they should give to themselves first.
Awesome Username Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I do know I won't be having sex with him unless he commits to me in some way shape or form. And by that I mean verbally state a commitment (boyfriend/girlfriend) introduce me to his people, that sort of thing. It can go as slow as he wants, as long as you keep to this rule I think you'll be just fine.
conehead Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 It can go as slow as he wants, as long as you keep to this rule I think you'll be just fine. My only fear is that if he is a really bad person, then he can agree to being bf/gf just to have sex with her then he can dump her shortly after and that will make her feel worse.
Kamille Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Okay wait! A month and a half and you guys were talking about marriage??? Uh.... Yeah, you guys were rushing things! So maybe all "Taking things slow" means in this case is: hey, let's get to know each other before we commit to each other. Let's have fun dating! If I were in your shoes, I would say something like: "You know what, I understand! Let's take things slow - let's have fun getting to know each other". And I would kiss him and just continue to be myself and enjoy the early stages of dating.
Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Why were you talking about marriage, before even establishing whethe you're an exclusive couple? I would think that would frighten anyone...
Crazy Magnet Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I'd probably run away too if I were this guy. By slow down, he probably means, I really know nothing about you, can I please get to know you better. Granted I invoked the M word when trying to make a point to my BF recently "If you are really looking to get M, then you have to market yourself that way." and "Where is your line with this ex? Would you still have date night with her if you were engaged or married?" He definitely threw up some "Hey, woah, why the M word?!?" I had to clarify and say I was making a point, not trying to marry him. The point of that was to say he SHOULD be freaking out if you are discussing getting married, and so should you. You don't even know this guy. It takes a solid three months at least before the real person comes out in a relationship. Sometimes it takes longer than that. For me, I made my point, and you won't hear me utter the M word again until someone drives bamboo shoots under my fingernails and makes me. You need to get back to dating mode and stay there for a while.
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