vixen5001 Posted January 7, 2004 Posted January 7, 2004 Hello, this is my first post here, heres my story. My met my bf last April adn got together last May, we both lived abroad but then in August he got a promotion adn moved to another country. I handed my notice in and followed him. Things werent great there, I didnt have a job and didnt really like the new place. I also didnt have any friends and was really lonely. He tried hard but worked 6 days a week and we did row quite a bit. I came home mid dec for christmas and he is due home at the end of the month. We havnt been able to decide on what to do next, he wants to go back and says he would he knows he would if we werent together. But he also knows that i cant go back there, I gave it 3 months, I cant find a job and generally dont like the place. I have been putting some pressure on him to make a decision as I feel in a sort of limbo, not knowing what my next move should be. I have tried not talking about it but this has led me to get angry at him cause he doent seen that bothered. On Sunday we had such a good talk and I realised he is bothered, I thought we were going to be ok. Last night we chatted online for a bit, I asked him if he had looked at an application for a job he said he was interested in, he said he didnt want to do that anymore - this was a job where I live. I was like 'oh ok then' he said he was going so I said id call him in a few mins, he said 'ok but that not to talk about the future' this made me kinda angry and I told him I wouldnt say anything on the phone but that I was kinda fed up with it all... I dont think what I said was that bad at all and it wasnt having a go at him. but he said that he was going and that he didnt want me to contact him and that he was switching his phone off. I texted him just to say sorry, that i didnt mean to upset him. This morning I texted again just saying sorry, he texted back saying 'this is the final straw, take my advice and leave me alone' I havnt contacted him since then but I am so bad at not contacting him and know I will get weak soon, but I am trying so hard to be strong. I dont have any friends where I live now and no one to talk to, I just want us to be ok but I dont think we're going to be. I have tried so hard to make things work and want us to be happy again more than anything else in the world. Im just gutted Thanks for listening
look forward Posted January 10, 2004 Posted January 10, 2004 I really feel for you i know what its like when things are going wrong and it all seems out of your control.. Firstly can i commend you for moving out with yoru bf that is such a big thing to do and he needs to apprecaite that and realise what a hard thing it was for you to do.. I mean you tried it and gave it your all but it didn;t work out.. why cant you talk about the future?? I dont dont see how you will progress without dicussing your issues.. it sounds like the guy is burrying his head in the sand he needs to be able to communicate with you on all levels even if it is difficult.. I know its hard but he obviously needs some time to sort his head out.. your gonna have to be strong and leave him alone for a bit i mean if even sending the guy a text is wrong what mare can you do.. leave it alone for a while even if it is tough trust me when he notices that you have stopped trying to contact him he'll be thinking whats up and be on the phone to you... in the mean time start thinking to yourself about what you want to do? what will make you happy? and what your prepard to do to get that happiness? You say you have no friends join a gym or a social club so be on your own.. surely you have family go and visit them this is your time to make the most of it and stay strong.. its hard but you will have to do it... I have faith in you girl........
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