John_Silver Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 This is my post in Breaks and Breaking Up but i realized that it was incorrect subforum for my message)) I did not get any response but still need help... 11 weeks ago i met that girl. She is absolutely gorgeous: body and face of a goddess (5'10'', 140 lbs), eyes, smile... She is smart, wonderful dancer, nice personality... And I thought i had my dream in my hands... Never before i felt like that... She was so special to me, but I felt sort of fear... She is so wanderful how can I possibly match her requirements? Hou can she feel I am her man? By the way I felt like she always she tried to evaluate me (may be that was professional)... And I was afraid of possibility of being dumped by the girl of my dream.. Also i was afraid of comparison to her ex-boyfriends... She works hard so do I, so we tried to spend any free minute we could spend together... I tried to give her everything, I only could... I tried to surround her with care, warmth, protection, love, to help her any possible way and cherish her... Just because I couldn't treat her another way... So we were together and i was the happiest man... I do not regret a single minute spent with her.... She was my girl, my lovely baby... The Valentine's day had come,,, We decided to meet at her place then to go to the club and she was so nice to me.... I got relaxed and all of my fears were gone... I thought... When we got to the club everything was going just right... But after I had few (maybe not so few) drinks my fears, which were about to disappear, started to come out... Just like everything I was afraid of has happened... I got angry and hella agressive... I told her everything... Like she always evaluates me, like she drawns me in **** with her attitude... She took me home by taxi... Next day she called and we talked... She said that's everything is over... She cannot be with a man she can possibly be afraid of.... I felt like i'm killed... 2 days after that we met and talked. she said that for some time we have to be just friends and after she forgets that goddamned night at club and my crasy eyes MAYBE we will be able to restore our relationships... I don't know is that just the trick to make the breakup easy or she is still loving me and ready to give me the second chance after her emotions settle down? For the last week i kept feeling constant pain, burning within. I know that she began to do what she likes the most - concerts, outdoor picknicks, etc. In other words she started to do what's recommended for a person to overcome breakup problems. What can that possibly mean? Maybe she still feels like she needs me? And tries to do things to forger me faster... I don't know what to do and how to get her back... If it's possible...
The Paper Knight Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) When we got to the club everything was going just right... But after I had few (maybe not so few) drinks my fears, which were about to disappear, started to come out... Just like everything I was afraid of has happened... I got angry and hella agressive... I told her everything... Like she always evaluates me, like she drawns me in **** with her attitude... What where you so scared of?... the fact that she was pretty? For the last week i kept feeling constant pain, burning within. Because you blame yourself for the breakup and would swim through yesterdays piss to get her back - I have been there and its a deep burn, because you are so blinded by your own actions. I know that she began to do what she likes the most - concerts, outdoor picknicks, etc. In other words she started to do what's recommended for a person to overcome breakup problems. What can that possibly mean? Maybe she still feels like she needs me? And tries to do things to forger me faster... Don't worry what she is upto. Try to see through that pretty face and ask yourself what did she do for you? If it was all one way then it was just you being deluded by 'the girl of your dreams'. I don't know what to do and how to get her back... If it's possible... Its probably too late. But I would remain NC and start moving on yourself. I am sure you have already apologized for your minor indiscretion, so all you can do now is forgive yourself and reflect on all the good you did for her and if she can't see that then she will not contact you. Edited February 24, 2010 by The Paper Knight
iheartboobs Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Your attitude needs to change. You may think you need her, but you don't... you seemed to survive before you were with this girl, and, even if you don't like it, you'll survive if you're never with her again. That's the truth. You may absolutely want her back with all your heart, but you don't need her. That's a very important distinction. It's also your attitude that's poisoned your relationship. It sounds like this girl has a lot going for her, that she could pretty much get any guy she wants, right? So why would she go for the needy, insecure guy who projects his needy insecurities onto her? Women can pick up on that sort of thing, you know? (Especially when you drunkenly rant it to them). Go NC or LC for a few weeks, work on yourself during that time, build up your confidence, and stop acting like you're so lucky to get a girl like her (because if you're thinking it, she's thinking it), and start acting like you're good enough for anybody. You're acting like a scared boy, and not too many women want to date scared boys.
Author John_Silver Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 Thank for your replies, my friends. but i have few words to answer... before i was agressive and sort of cinic towards women and basically never had a problem to find one for any sort of relationship, but not in that case... my feelings towards her made me better, i lived like i flied))) everything was going just right... i clearly understand that my position here is not on the winning side and it is not good... but anyway i work on myself and hope that everything will go well...
The Paper Knight Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 You're acting like a scared boy, and not too many women want to date scared boys. No they don't. Its time to man up and go your own way.
USMCHokie Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I'm sorry, but it sounds like she is right...you DO have the crazy eyes...fix yourself before you try again with someone else... Don't be her friend, don't talk to her. Close this chapter in your life, unf*ck yourself, and then move on to a chapter.
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