XKatieX Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) To give you some background info: I'm 16 and I used to go to a public school, through 8-9th grade I had trouble with some sleep issues, which then turned into anxiety/depression. I saw therapists and even went to a sleep study to find out what was going on,.I also tried sleeping pills and anxiety meds, all the meds had extremely bad side effects. I do not like taking meds for that reason. So, I was doing a routine where I would go into the school office and do my school work there because of my anxiety. Well that didn't seem to help either, but in the mean time is when I found out about an online school. Since then I have been doing online schooling, and my anxiety/depression has gone down A LOT. But now there is a problem of course with me not having any socialization. The closest to socializing I get is an interactive game I play (World of Warcraft) and to my boyfriend, whom I've been with for 3 years. When I was in school, I did have a few people I commuted with but no one I'd actually want to pick up the phone and say hey, you wanna do something? No one I really "clicked" with well. I used to have a really good close group of friends as well who I knew since Elementary school. But I got into a fight with one who was my best friend at the time and because she was friends with my other friends, I stopped talking them to, and just isolated myself. Its been so long if I tried to talk to one of them now it would be just so awkward and weird, I think. But it was a hard part of my life to go through, and since then I think i have lost confidence in finding as close friends as I used to have. So any suggestions on how I can make friends, what places I could go..things I could try? Edited February 24, 2010 by XKatieX
Trimmer Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I would be concerned that the very anxiety that is (still?) keeping you away from the social atmosphere of a typical school would also be an obstacle to the logical environments where you would be likely to find friends. Let's be honest: school is the place where the vast majority of people find the vast majority of their friends at your age. Is your anxiety limited in scope specifically to school? Can you participate in other activities around other people in small or large groups without difficulty? The boundaries of this envelope will help define what types of social situations you can "safely" seek out, and what types of activities might fit within those boundaries. If you have a generalized social anxiety - difficulty interacting with other people - then your question essentially becomes "how can I socialize when I can't socialize..." and that's a pretty intractable problem. On the other hand, if it's specifically school, then could you imagine being able to handle and enjoy dance classes (like ballet, modern, or jazz, etc.)? How about community theater? The first step of socializing is exposure to other people. You will need to determine whether it is simply that exposure that causes you the anxiety, or if there is a boundary within which you can operate, and still expose yourself in social situations to be able to interact with people. Do you have any insights along these lines?
Author XKatieX Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) Its mostly in large crowds, I do better in smaller groups of people. Its not just school specifically although my anxiety seemed to be at its peak at school. When I go to the mall sometimes I feel myself getting anxious, and even at restaurants sometimes, if theres a lot of people. I still am trying to figure out why though its the worst at school, I think its because I don't feel comfortable around some kids my age if I feel like I don't relate to them, or I don't like them for whatever reason. But if I really think about it, if I went to a school full of adults would it really be different? And I'm thinking maybe not, but I can't be sure on that. But I think I also have difficulty interacting with people even if its just one on one, starting a conversation, keeping it going, etc. I think its hard for me to communicate with people because of that, not really knowing what to say and to just be myself. That also probably has a lot to do with my personality, I am a quiet person and it does take me some time to open up to people and be myself around them. Edited February 24, 2010 by XKatieX
TouchedByViolet Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Even though online school has helped with your depression/anxiety I think it is the wrong choice. A part of school and education is learning to interact with people. People skills are something you will use your entire life (with friends, family, work, etc..) You said you have a bf. Doesn't he have friends you can meet. Do you play sports, or work out throughout the day? Many people find excersise to be the best medicine for anxiety/depression. I find it very easy to sleep after a good work out. Playing a sport will let you meet people in a fun environment.
Green Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Your bf might have friends. Or you could join a sports team. You could be on a basketball, soccer, or volleyball team ect. through practice and games you would make friends. I mean what ever sounds cool is what you should join. For your sleep problems have you ever tried a white noise machine?
Author XKatieX Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) No, I dont play any sports. I don't have very many hobbies, although I do like basketball and I used to play for a few years. Also I remember having practice 3 times a week at night and games early on weekends. I thought it seemed time consuming then but when I get a job ill be working night shifts, practices are at night, how could I even have the time with that, juggling school and work? Since its winter I haven't been doing much outside, but I have started to walk on the tread mill a bit. I plan on doing more outside in the spring/summer My boyfriend has a job, he doesn't have very many friends either since he moved. I think thats why we fit so well together, we're very much alike..except he has a brighter personality. @Green, yes my dad has one. He never really used it, instead just as a radio. But I have listened to it, never really tried sleeping with it...but I am a really light sleeper..so idk if I could sleep with that on. Maybe I will give it a try, ty Edited February 24, 2010 by XKatieX
Green Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Maybe its good for light sleeping. The white noise would drown out all other noises. As for making friends, you can only continue to look for ideas for so long. You probably have a few things you could try. If your bf is a good friend then at least you have one. Some people don't even have that.
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