mellowyellow186 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and four months. he broke up with me recently. we have always been very much in love, he is my first real love and i am his as well. we care for eachother a lot and i know he still loves and cares about me. when he broke up with me he said it was because we werent right for one another and that i deserved someone better, that wouldnt hurt me. i was very surprised because he says i did nothing wrong, and that im great but that he needs to work on himself, that something is wrong with him and he needs to work on it alone. i couldnt help but ask what he wanted to work on himself, and why he didnt want to work on it with me, i kept telling him i could help, this is when he told me what it was. four years ago he got a DUI, he upset his family and was very depressed after.. and now his depression is back. no one knows he is depressed but me. he wont tell his family and doesnt think its to the point where he needs to see a doctor. he is pushing me away. even though he says he wants to be alone he does things like text me in the day. not as much as he used to but he randomly says hey, how are you, or what are you doing, and when i see him ( we have class together) he still hugs me when he sees im upset and he always moves my hair our of my face.. i know he is seriously depressed and i dont know how to help, i just want him to be better, but aside from being depressed i dont know how he feels about me. he says he doesnt want to be in a relationship and wants to be alone but i know there is no one else and that he still loves me but when i try to get closer he pushes me away. its killing me, i want the love of my life back, i want him to be happy again. what do i do?
skydiveaddict Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Depression is a serious thing. It effects you and eveyone around you. I would tell him he's being a wimp for not seeking help w/this, cause he is. Don't make it your problem however. It will only drag you down as well. He will only do it when he will admit that to himself.
Author mellowyellow186 Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 i tried telling him to get help, or have him talk to his parents, or at least talk about it with me so i can be there and help him, help him make the things in his life that are bad better, solving it. but he doesnt want to. he is pushing me away and everyone else and trying to deal it with himself.. i know this is affecting me too, but i cant help it, i care for him so much i want to help him, i dont know how to just leave him alone and move on.
skydiveaddict Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 i tried telling him to get help, or have him talk to his parents, or at least talk about it with me so i can be there and help him, help him make the things in his life that are bad better, solving it. but he doesnt want to. he is pushing me away and everyone else and trying to deal it with himself.. i know this is affecting me too, but i cant help it, i care for him so much i want to help him, i dont know how to just leave him alone and move on. That's just exactly how depression works. Like I said , it not only drags him down, but everyone else around him. And I know you care for him. He's lucky to have you in his life. You've done all that you can do. I would tell him that you will be there for him, but he has to have the courage to face his problem. You can't do it for him. I came back from Afghanistan VERY depressed. But I got help, and I am my old self again. I wasn't too proud to go for help, and he shouldn't be either.
Author mellowyellow186 Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 thanks for your response, i have a question tho. he is pushing me away, and yet he still want me there for when he needs me. says he wants to be alone.. but im getting mixed signals from him, does he really not want to be with me? or is it the depression?
niktsang Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Frankly speaking, I am also a man, I know what they are thinking indeed. Boys like dumping their gf away with excellent excuses, and let the relationship end with peace and natural, he would be thought to be a victim as well, without damaing his image, and the relationship cannot be help but end. But the fact that your bf may fall in love with other girls or just get sick of being with you. I am not trying to offend your bf, or making you heartbreaking, but there is another possible way that yr bf has this kind of fake "depression". Keep my fringer cross to you.
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