What the Bleep is she thinking....

[bldykes]

After a 3 year relationship, my ex and I have split. About a year and 1/2 ago, I moved out not because I didn't love her or want to break up, but because her habits and our schedules were tough. We work opposite schedules and saw each other about 1-2 full days and maybe a couple 1/2 days unless we planned. So we ended up moving back into together in her house this past July. Things were going great. We She kept saying that she knew I loved her but didn't think I liked her. We almost always get along and enjoyed the same things. Partly because we don't have to see each other all the time. I admit it was tough as I wanted to see her more. It just happens that neither of us prefer to get married in any rush or have kids. So a great situation.

 

About 15 days ago, after we had a couple of rough months, she said she didn't think we should live together. We had been a little tense, and I mentioned that if we couldn't communicate and respect each others needs, maybe our relationship would be better if we didn't live together in our relationship, you tend to appreciate more when there is anticipation. I could tell that her habits were related to her busy schedule and she wasn't taking care of herself. But I supported her.

 

I had lost my job and a family member. And in fairness, I was not showing the love and affection I needed to, because I was pretty down. But I was starting to realize this and working towards it about the time this happened. We sat, she said she didn't think we should live together, but didn't want to break up. Next thing you know, tension and emotions are high and we broke up the next day. She told me to leave. This killed me. We share two dogs and I still have stuff there. I wasn't sure what was going on, because she doesn't communicate. So I finally just asked if she was seeing someone out of sheer randomness and she just blurted out yes and when I asked more, she just looked dazed and was looking down to the left for a long time(sign of lying). She wouldn't talk to me after that except to say she was very angry and couldn't talk. But I feel like she is blaming me for leaving, yet she made me. I know her too well, and it is not likely she would do this as she doesn't date people she works with as a rule, unless someone was wooing her. I know her schedule too well, and it is VERY doubtful, but you never know. Plus, she has been so worried about her own self and weight,, that I doubt this would be the time for that. She was really trying to get into a dedicated work out plan and focus on herself-the possible real reason for the break.

 

Two days after we broke up, she texted me saying I love you and sorry she was so f$%*ed up. And proceeded to tell me about my dog. The day before, I went into her room and she had the pillows lined up like a body where I lay with my favorite sweater laying on top of it. I know she loves me, but I think she pre-empted kicking me out because she thought i was going to leave her. I doubt she is seeing someone else, and the way she worded it was that someone was interested and she wouldn't have thought about it unless we weren't getting along. It felt like an anger move to hurt me and reinforce her move.

 

Let me backtrack slightly. About a week before this, her best friend had a complete meltdown, very serious-but my ex was out of control crying and just hit a very low point. In addition, she was down on herself a lot because of weight issues, which I never cared about, because I loved her.

 

So with weight issues, friend issues, our issues, I think she made a decision out of emotions. Which sucks, because you don't think clearly when your that down. But it is what it is......

 

My question is do you think she will come back after she gets her stuff straight and figures herself out. I am sad and wonder if she will figure out her love for me. I can't believe that with my stuff, my dog, our furniture and 3 years, that I won't hear from her. I bought her flowers on Valentines day and got no response. The day before I texted and she was still very bitter and said we were done. I still find it hard to believe.

 

No contact for the past 10 days.....what the bleep?

 

I want her, but I think it should be on her terms......I am not sure about this whole NC thing, but I am considering writing her a letter, yet not pressuring or asking for her back, but telling my feelings about her and apologizine. I just want to let her know one last time, so I can feel okay that I tried and move on....then it is in her hands. And should I get my dog now and my stuff, or is that the reminder that might lead us back together. Or by getting it, does it make her realize the ties are cut.

 

What should I think? Girls opinions would be great. My gut says she just needs time to figure herself out.

[McGrupp]

dont write a letter. act like your moving on. act like you dont care. if you start to see someone, she might get jealous and come back...keep nc till your emotions settle at least. and i mean really settle...