That_girl Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 We broke up a little over a month ago, and since I practically lived at his house I happened to leave a few things there. They're not hugely important/ expensive things. It's just that every time I wonder where that cute shirt I had went....I remember "Sh*t, I must have left it there!" Luckily, I took the majority of my things back to my place before this all happened. It's like I knew that I wouldn't ever be getting them back! I don't have much of his...just a few DVD's. I don't want to ask for my things back. I don't want them back THAT bad. Hopefully he will offer to mail them over or something at some point. He actually expressed that the night of the break-up...."I don't want to see you anymore, if you want your stuff back I'll mail it to you" over a voicemail. After 3 years he breaks up with me through a voicemail message!!!! And he gets to hold my stuff hostage. I'm NOT calling/e-mailing/ texting EVER again, so I guess he'll have to keep it. What did you guys do to get your stuff back? Did have a break-up so bad that it just wasn't even worth trying to get back your belongings?
Beolf Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Material things are replaceable, having my heart burnt and my ashes sh*t on isn't. She can keep everything. (slowly but surely, I see the light) But I really wish you better luck.
Ronni_W Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Hugs, That_girl. The way he phrased it, seems he didn't have an intention of mailing back your stuff unless you specifically requested it. If you really do want to try to get your stuff back, you could ask a friend, relative or coworker to act as your spokesperson. (The rich and famous have those, so why not you? ) Just ask them to voice, text or email the message, "That_girl would like you to mail back her stuff like you promised, please." And maybe they could add your mailing address just so he has no excuse. But. He still may not do it. In which case, I'd just leave it -- don't give him the satisfaction of deluding himself into thinking that he has any power over you just because he is in possession of your personal items.
bldykes Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 My ex has my dog, and a garage full of stuff.......AS IF SHE DOESN"T KNOW THIS........I don't want to break NC to get it.......I want her to miss me and figure her crap out so I can get that phone call.........She knows I have to get it sometime and she knows I want my dog......I think she got herself stuck in a breakup she didn't want and is hanging on to all those things as a way to keep me around.........She said I could come get my dog, but she has to know all that other stuff is there too........She didn't even remind me to get it or ask politely if I still wanted any of it.......GAMES
LostInLimbo Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I tell can you from my experience, my ex had left me, I came home, she was gone, stuff and all, but lots left behind, I didn't mind holding on to it, it meant I may still get to see her again, but when I had enough of the holding on and wanted to let go, I packed her stuff up and dropped it off.. He seems to be holding on, my theory is this, but only from me being in his shoes: He has your things, thats the connection still between you and him... LiL
Ilovecake Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Stuff is just that stuff. I cut my losses and leave behind anything that is replaceable, including any money owed. You'll forget about that shirt and you'll forget about him. Anyways those clothes you left behind are a) probably gone by now b) will be out of fashion this time next year. Think of it as making room for new, better stuff.
sunrae Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 If it makes you feel any better... Not really about stuff, but will make your stuff seem small... When my marriage ended I assumed 40k in debt, just so I wouldnt have to deal with him anymore. My sanity was worth way more than 40k... A shirt, dvd's, some other small things can be replaced. Save yourself some heartache and your sanity.
Author That_girl Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 sunrae, I'm sorry to hear that. That is A LOT of money. However, if it saved your sanity then I agree, it was WELL worth it!! I suppose it isn't really that important after all. It just hurts that he would throw my things away...but then again he threw ME away so it shouldn't really matter. I won't ask for the things back.
sunrae Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 No worries, we all live and learn... I made the right decision for me at the time. Just a thought.. If you really want your stuff back and you know he still has it. You could go to UPS or Fed-Ex and buy a pre-paid postage lable and box, and drop it off at his house when you know he's not going to be there, and hopefully he will mail your stuff back to you. Kind of like when you buy something on line, and they enclose a return lable, you can supply him with a "return lable" so he can return your things to you.
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