ctwatlanta Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 OK, I think I already know what you all are going to say but sometimes a person just needs confirmation of what he/she already thinks. Here's the deal. We met online a week ago and it was one of those odd situations where things just "clicked". Mind you, I'm in my 30's, educated, never married and she's late 20's, educated and never married. We literally hit it off from the start. We talked every single night for literally hours at a time. I'm sure you've all been there - where you meet someone and you just can't believe this person exists and that you just talk and talk all night long. It's one of those situations where hours seem like seconds when you're with that person, ya know? Well each day got better than the previous and she finally invited me to visit her. We live several hours apart but decided that I'd come visit her soon since I work from home and have a ton of flexibility. I last spoke with her Sunday evening and she said she couldn't wait to see me and that she was as excited as a kid expecting Christmas to come. Well that was Sunday and I've reached out to her twice now trying to firm the date/time up and I've not got a single word from her. I know she's getting my msg's because when you leave a msg on this dating site it tells you if the person read your msg and the time that person read it. Why has she suddenly gone completely quiet on me when 2 days ago I couldn't get her off the phone or to bed at a decent hour because she kept wanting to talk with me??? I realize some of you will say it's only been 2 days but that's not the point. She called and contacted me several times per day before Sunday evening so what gives? I feel like an ass if I call her again after having reached out to her twice now with no response. So, do I just throw the number away and move on or what? It really pisses me off to no end when someone does this and toys with a person's feelings.
Peter Attis Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Don't let it go, but don't contact her again either. That way, she'll know you're into her but not too clingy.
DustySaltus Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Something probably happened. Was she on a pay site or a free site. Sometimes girls might set up a profile on a free site just to get an "ego boost". She might be just out of a relationship or on a break or met someone else. Did she give you her address yet?
Author ctwatlanta Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks for the advice Dusty and Peter. @ Dusty - Yes, it was a free site. She's not been in a relationship for about a yr as I recall. She's wrapping up her finals next wk in her masters nursing degree program at school. I have a hard time believing she met someone else because we last spoke around 11pm on Sunday night and I had to make her hang up with me; otherwise, she would have kept me up talking until dawn! It was like that with her every single night...she wouldn't let me go and would keep me up til 2-3am each night because she said she liked me so much and didn't want to hang up. She told me which hospital she worked at and I didn't even think to ask for her home address Sunday night. I just told her I'd look at my calendar for the date she gave me to come visit and that I'd get back to her and get the details. That was Sunday evening and the last time I heard from her. I reached out to her twice yesterday and still no word... It's just very odd how someone can go from 100mph to 0mph like that with no explanation. I guess what bugs me the most is that I know for a fact she received my msg because it said she received and read it; however, she didn't even respond. I could have "potentially" believed she was too busy studying for finals but that's just me making excuses for her. I was working full time and while getting my MBA at one time and I still could have managed to take 15 seconds to respond to someone that I'd made plans with, ya know? At this point even if she does contact me at some point in the future I'm going to have a hard time dealing with it. So, do I never contact her again and just wait or do I wait a couple of more days and try again? At what point do I simply throw the number away and move on? thanks again
conehead Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I say just let it go. But if you feel like you need to hear from her in order to get closure, then contact her once more to tell her to respond to you whether or not she's interested just so that you know.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I think you just have to let it go. You may hear from her again so you should decide how you're going to handle that. I'm beginning to think there is a segment of online daters who have no intention of ever meeting anyone. They are only looking for the online or phone interaction portion and when it comes time to actually meet, they disappear. Maybe they are lying about appearance or marital status. I don't know what they get from it.
homersheineken Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Yeah I think so too with online dating. That's why I always try to secure a date within the first couple of emails. Either that or she found someone else or she's just playing games. I wouldn't contact anymore.
Beolf Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 personally I would just leave it alone. I know its F&^%ed up, but a week is only a week. Sorry dude, just my 2 cents!
Author ctwatlanta Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 Good points. I never really thought about the "online dating segment" issue. It never applied to me before but I've read where this happens more and more often. And that there are a segment of people out there that will appear to be very interested in you and lead you on but then drop you like a hot rock with no explanation or anything...as if you never existed. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do about people like that and it sucks. I realize it was only a week of time invested but it still hurts when someone leads you on and pulls at your heart strings and tells you everything you ever wanted to hear... I feel like a sucker and an ass for opening up like I did to her. I'm a big believer in karma and that you reap what you sow. Therefore, people like that will get it back ten-fold at some later time. It's just not right to screw with people's emotions and feelings.
mushmush Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Why are you so emotionally involved with a girl you only been speaking to for a week and have never met? As far as Internet dating goes. Email a few times to see if you have things in common. Exchange numbers, talk. Organise a date. You invested to much of your self to soon. Dont call her again, if she calls you then good.
The Paper Knight Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Good points. I never really thought about the "online dating segment" issue.. When you are online you can be whoever you want to be and then when it comes to the crunch you realize you really aren't that person. It's just not right to screw with people's emotions and feelings. They never intend do it, its just human nature.
paleblue Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Do not initiate contact anymore. period. if there was a connection she would have returned the call. Besides several hours away and she is acting like this? forget it. i could see remaining on contact if the connection was still there like before you met. As Hokie would say... Launch.... next please......
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