jhouser Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I hope someone could make sense of these actions, b/c I just don’t know. Long story short I had an ex that dumped me like 3 years ago. I didn’t chase her, and followed no contact rule to the T. She jumped into a new relationship right after our break, (rebound) but I gave it no attention. She contacted me twice after 2yrs, but it was mostly her bragging about her new life, so I keep everything short and threw her out of my life again. Year 3 started with her trying to contact me to tell me she’s now engaged. ( like I would care or something). Since my number changed she had an old friend call me out of the blue to give me the news. Apparently, she wanted to talk.. I got her number and give her congrats and all that nothing big. Now she texts me on my b-day, holidays, etc. Hell I can’t even remember her b-day! Lol.. Recently I found out she’s being trying to run into me, by finding out where I’m going on the weekends through friends. She called me a few months ago and we talked, but it’s the same old bragging. Everything is like a 1up with her I don’t get it.. why can’t she just act normal? I talked about a few women I was into. She got a little short and didn’t contact me for months, but now she’s starting up again.. Now she talks about old times, and comparing her current relationship to ours. Talks about something they did together, and then ask me if I’m jealous. My answer is always NO I’m happy for you! Please keep in mind I never show her in any way I wanted her back! I’ve always played it cool and when with the “I’m happy for you attitude”, and I’ve always talked to her like a friend since the break. We had a very loving relationship with an incredible friendship. Honestly, I’ve never connect with a women like I did with her, but the past is the past. I just want to keep our friendship. So why is she acting so fake? Why even keep contact with me in the first place? The only thing I can think of is I never chased her, and that bugs her in some way. Any idea?
aimchase Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 The 'happy life' that she purports to have is false. She's purely using other people to attempt to make out that her life is so grand, yet it all revolves around jealousy (and a bit of an obsession) for yourself. She's clearly not over you. If you wanted to hook up with her again I dare say you wouldn't have too much trouble, although you have to question her maturity considering the cr*p she's been pulling. It appears you want to just maintain a friendship, though i'm not sure that will work. If you don'twant her bothering you, I suggest you also change your phone number and only pass to those people who won't forward it to your ex.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 GOOD LORD SHE IS CRAZY! WTF are you doing talking to her, you should have never called her with your new number.
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 You know what? I'm a Dog behaviourist. I liken this to something my clients ask, whenever something happens with their dog... The question they ask, is always, but always: "Why does my dog *do this*?" And I always, but always, reply: "It doesn't matter why your dog *does this*. The question you should be asking, is 'What do I do now?' " I'm telling you the same thing. We could sit here for hours, and try to understand what her motives are, or why she's doing what she's doing. It's really not important (although it should be to her Fiancé, if he knew what she was doing!) but the telling thing is that she keeps doing it. The reason she keeps doing it - is because you are giving her no reason to stop. You're playing the game. Unwittingly, maybe. But the fact that you give her openings, means she'll keep coming through them. if you want her to stop her behaviour - change yours. It's possible that you're secretly - even sub-consciously - flattered by her continued attention, after all this time. Whatever your motives for responding to her, it keeps her coming back for more, because you invite her to do so. Cut her off completely. Don't tell her why, don't explain, don't justify, don't elaborate. Just - stop. leave it completely alone. The past is past. She should have left it there. And now - so should you.
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