waterudewing Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I know there have been a million threads on this but I didn't want to hijack someones thread. So here is mine. I've been talking to this girl for about a month, and in the past 2 weeks we've gone on three dates. Everything has been going great. On the third date we did the deed and after that spent the rest of the night "cuddling" and talking. We talk every day, but I'm still not sure what she is looking for in this relationship. She doesn't seem the type to sleep around, but I want to be sure I'm the only one she is sleeping with for safety reasons. To be honest I'm not even sure if I'm the only guy she is dating. I want to ask her about these things and try to get some kind of exclusive relationship going, but I want to do it in a way where she doesn't think I'm calling her a whore or something. Also, the thought of things going to fast crossed my mind and I wouldn't want to scare her off, but we did have sex and if I knew she was sleeping with someone else I would definitely break things off. So... help please. Female perspectives greatly appreciated.
Thebob Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 (guy here) In my experience with exclusivity talk you should let her ask you. Date other girls while your dating her, and when she finally asks you what you two are then dump the other girls your dating and become official. When she brings it up don't seem excited, just be cool and relaxed. If you bring it up and it's too quick for her then it can go down a spiral and she can become not interested anymore, that's happened to me twice this year and I'm done bringing the girlfriend boyfriend jingo up cause I've failed with 2 attractive girls. I know you want a relationship but this is part of the race and game, and your nearing the finish line, now just don't crash and burn and never finish the race, let her bring it up. Thebob
BellaMoon Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Not trying to bring up astrology or anything but if she has a November birthday I'd bring up the exclusive talk sooner than later. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to be safe and protected. In this day and age you should always know what your partner is up to, there's no excuse not to. It's been a month, you should feel comfortable enough to bring up the subject and be open about it. If nervous, use the "safety" stance as opposed to any early emotions and/or feelings (that yes can scare people away if too soon). Being exclusive with someone sexually does not mean they're your boyfriend/girlfriend. It just means that when you're out you're not sleeping with other people. After you've dated for a while longer then you have the next talk. Good luck!
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