hockeyman80 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 What is everyones opinion on this? Is it healthy for couples to go to the bar together and get drunk every weekend? I'm sure this doesn't happen as much in older couples, so I'm talking an age range of 18-25 here.
New Again Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 (edited) Clubbing is different from drinking in bars. My answer would vary slightly depending on which you are actually referring to. What is everyones opinion on this? Is it healthy for couples to go to the bar together and get drunk every weekend? Do you have a specific question on your situation or something? This kind of question depends on the individuals involved, and other circumstances. Of course there are people (many on this forum) who only see things as black or white, and they will certainly give you an absolute opinion. I'm sure this doesn't happen as much in older couples, so I'm talking an age range of 18-25 here. You'd be surprised. You'd probably be better off phrasing this caveat as being in regards to the lack of maturity in many people in the 18-25 age range, rather than assuming older people don't party as much. Maturity is the real issue here, IME. Edited February 23, 2010 by New Again
make me believe Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I agree, there's a big difference between clubbing and going to a regular bar. I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 31. We go to the bar for drinks about once a week. Usually on Friday or Saturday night. Sometimes with friends, sometimes just the two of us. I don't think there's any problem with that. What does maturity have to do with having a few beers at the bar?? Oh, and we don't ever go to clubs. Neither of us has ever been into that scene. We just go to sports bars, dive bars, or more upscale lounges.
New Again Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I What does maturity have to do with having a few beers at the bar?? Is this directed at me? It has a lot to do with maturity. I can only assume the OP started this thread because he has some kind of issue related to this topic. Generally, people who have problems with drinking/going out (especially in the age range given by the OP) are lacking in maturity, life experience, etc. that would help them establish and maintain appropriate boundaries, self-esteem, self-control, etc. I did not say that people who drink and/or go to bars are immature. If there is constant drama and issues arising from drinking/going to bars, there's a pretty damn good chance the parties involved are immature.
Author hockeyman80 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 I can only speak for myself but from where I'm from, the people in the age range I've said have no self-control or boundaries, single or not. So yes, I started this thread to see what people's views are on going clubbing (dance clubbing) with their SO fairly regularly, instead of staying in and watching a movie etc. Personally, I see going clubbing with your SO every weekend as relationship suicide
donnamaybe Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 There is nothing immature about going out for a few drinks. However, regarding the couple I see at one of my favorite hangouts, the woman in that pair looks VERY immature. She is ALWAYS hammered to the point where she's stumbling all over, spilling her drink, and hanging on people, blathering on and on incoherently. There is a HUGE difference between someone like her and someone like me or my friends (I'm 50, BTW) who just enjoy socializing, playing some pool, doing some karaoke, or dancing. I have my drinks made in a very tall glass so they are low on alcohol, and later in the evening I switch to Cokes or ice water. I don't want to look and act like some ignorant lush. How can anyone even have a good time like that?
Author hockeyman80 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Yes, I agree. I'm more talking about the people who go out with their SO and can't remember anything that happened during the night, etc. As in they binge drink and go clubbing. From what I've observed, once people get past a certain point they really have no self-control. I've seen girls with boyfriends go up and dance with their girl friends only to have guys come up and grind on them and they really have no desire to get away from it. Stuff like this happens a lot where I'm from and I don't see how heavy drinking and clubbing can be good for any couple.
New Again Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I can only speak for myself but from where I'm from, the people in the age range I've said have no self-control or boundaries, single or not. So yes, I started this thread to see what people's views are on going clubbing (dance clubbing) with their SO fairly regularly, instead of staying in and watching a movie etc. Personally, I see going clubbing with your SO every weekend as relationship suicide Again, it is what you make it. I don't think clubbing every weekend with your SO is or has to be "relationship suicide". If the parties involved are immature, lacking in respect and boundaries and so on, then yeah, it's probably not the smartest idea. Personally, I see staying in with your SO every weekend as relationship suicide. Boring!
threebyfate Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 If the couple NEEDS to get plastered every weekend, this is an issue unto itself. What do they really share, beyond a love of alcohol and sex? If they just enjoy a few drinks here and there, and enjoy the club atmosphere, as long as they share other interests and are comfortable being home alone together, it's not a big deal. I do question couples who are older than the age group you're talking about, clubbing every weekend to the point of getting drunk.
donnamaybe Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I do question couples who are older than the age group you're talking about, clubbing every weekend to the point of getting drunk. I question ANYONE, in ANY age group doing that constantly.
Pleco Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 My boyfriend and I are in our low 20s. We go to a club (yes, a dance club, not a bar) every other weekend or so, sometimes just once a month. It's our favorite club and all of our friends go as well. Sometimes we drink, sometimes not. It's usually a total blast. We have so much fun. And regarding dancing, we both dance with whomever we like - male or female. It's a gay club, so some of the guys I dance with are gay, but not always. Most of the girls I dance with are bi/gay and most of the ones he dances with are straight. I love it, such a range of sexualities. lol But it's never been a problem for us. I love to dance and he does too, there have never been any jealousy issues even if we both get a little crazy sometimes. It's all in good fun and we have some good friends that are right there with us. Definitely not relationship suicide but then again, we are pretty open-minded. I suspect that the "relationship suicide" part is only true if one or both parts of the couple do not know how to handle themselves or do not know their limits, and that knowledge usually does come with maturity (but hey, even older experienced people sometimes get carried away with themselves...) And it also has to do with one or both members of the couple not understanding the other's boundaries as far as what is appropriate dancing.
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