wheatthrasher Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I've had a crush on a fellow worker for a few months. We don't work directly together but we have the odd bit of contact from time to time. I'm fairly shy but my co-workers seem to enjoy my company after they've gotten to know me. She's shy and a bit moody so it's been a bit of a struggle to make the odd chit-chat with her. I really don't know why I fell her as I've only gotten to know her through some light conversation in the hallways and from what I gathered on Facebook and there are many other more attractive women I work with, but needless to say I was infatuated. She has a boyfriend who lives in another city (he's a fair bit older than her, divorced with kids, not what most would call handsome, but that's besides the point). I've confessed my crush to her close friend at work who was quite, understandably, shocked. I also told a coworker I trust completely, and he too was shocked as to why I would fall for someone like her (She's a bit of the office bitch from what I hear). But as we all know, the heart wants what it wants. Once in a blue moon she'd approach me and say hello, but usually it was me who had to instigate it, be it through asking if she wanted a coffee, or just complimenting her hair. One time we talked about relationships and she told me how she was bored with her boyfriend and was only with him because they had a dog together. I know that was most likely just her mood at the time and I take what she confided with a grain of salt. For a months I've let my crush linger, trying to flirt with her but not always 100% successful. She's quite closed off to people and only friendly with one or two women, from what I can tell. It was difficult, but I realized that she didn't have what I wanted in a lover and that it would be pointless pursuing her romantically. Yet my heart hadn't moved on. One day I had enough and walked her to her car and confessed my crush. I complimented her, told her that I liked her because she was smart, funny and beautiful, and explained how I knew she had a boyfriend and that I'm trying to get over her but would like to get to know her eventually. She, of course, was shocked, and didn't know what to say. I felt shameful and apologized, explaining how I promised not to let things get weird at work. She seemed relieved to find out the reason I deleted her from Facebook (the ultimate shaming, it seems, for my generation) and she said that I should get to know her (she can be quite cocky) and then told me to have a good weekend. That was it. I felt good letting it out and vowed to get on with my life. At work I tried my best to not so much ignore her, but just try not to find myself in situations where I'd run into her. I think she had the same mentality. However, I feel as if she dislikes me now or almost hates me. She's nearly impossible to read and even prior to my confession, depending on her mood, she would either respond positively or be a super-bitch to my simple greetings. I don't expect her to fall in love with me, as I now know my crush isn't reciprocated. She also didn't tell her best pal at work, which, I suppose, doesn't mean much. What prompted me to post this question was one night, about a month since my confession, we were the last two left in the workplace. That day she was oddly friendly with everyone, very uncharacteristically chatty with our coworkers and smiling and laughing. I didn't strike up a conversation with her because I didn't know what to say. When she was finished for the night, she simply got her coat and walked out without saying "goodnight" or anything. Now I know its awkward between the two of us, but I get the impression she wants nothing to do with me. I feel guilty in admitting my feelings, but I'm glad I said it so I could move on and partly because I never been so blunt like that in my life and wanted to be brave for once. I believe most woman would be flattered to have an admirer admit their crush, even if it's just to say how they're moving on. However, I really would want to be friends with her one day, so do I just wait it out and hope she sees that I'm not a creepy stalker guy? Or do I try and strike up conversation and get a friendship going? Or am I just plain crazy and should apologize to her?
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